Pinned
Eggbutt
@eggbutts.bsky.social
· Dec 7
turns out the badass bounty hunter Samus Aran is, in fact, a woman. this is woke bullshit and I-- (whispering sounds) huh? [I bend over and put an ear to my crotch] what's that, penis? (more whispering) what? a skin-tight suit, you say? a blonde ponytail? but-- (whispering continues) why yes, I see
the Go Compare Man is very Welsh. alright. thats nice.
but the Moustache is Fake? fuck off. why would go compare Lie to me like this
but the Moustache is Fake? fuck off. why would go compare Lie to me like this
December 27, 2025 at 12:29 PM
the Go Compare Man is very Welsh. alright. thats nice.
but the Moustache is Fake? fuck off. why would go compare Lie to me like this
but the Moustache is Fake? fuck off. why would go compare Lie to me like this
watching The Matrix (1999) and having a drink every time a matrix appears on-screen
December 26, 2025 at 8:33 AM
watching The Matrix (1999) and having a drink every time a matrix appears on-screen
Spotify Wrapped says my 3rd most listened to song this year is Echoing Shouts & Screams of Lost Cave Explorers [Radio Edit]. But this is only because I left it on repeat one night while I slept.
December 26, 2025 at 8:23 AM
Spotify Wrapped says my 3rd most listened to song this year is Echoing Shouts & Screams of Lost Cave Explorers [Radio Edit]. But this is only because I left it on repeat one night while I slept.
Making all the blood rush to my head before I post so that my posts are more intelligent
December 26, 2025 at 8:16 AM
Making all the blood rush to my head before I post so that my posts are more intelligent
Reposted by Eggbutt
Jesus, can you hear me? Good, the comms are working. Now, you're gonna need to run if you want to evade those Roman soldiers. Hold down A to sprint. Go ahead and try it. ... Good work! You just might be the savior yet. Now pick up that AR-15 and let's do some target practice.
December 24, 2025 at 3:32 AM
Jesus, can you hear me? Good, the comms are working. Now, you're gonna need to run if you want to evade those Roman soldiers. Hold down A to sprint. Go ahead and try it. ... Good work! You just might be the savior yet. Now pick up that AR-15 and let's do some target practice.
They conspired to silence me. and it worked because i don't like talking that much anyway
December 16, 2025 at 11:42 PM
They conspired to silence me. and it worked because i don't like talking that much anyway
like this post if your purpose in life is to chedved a mortone
December 16, 2025 at 11:39 PM
like this post if your purpose in life is to chedved a mortone
common misconception is that humans can live without cheese. we cannot. vegans are lying to you. having cheese on the side when nobody is looking. cheese is baked into the human genome. mmmmmm... baked cheese.......
December 16, 2025 at 11:33 PM
common misconception is that humans can live without cheese. we cannot. vegans are lying to you. having cheese on the side when nobody is looking. cheese is baked into the human genome. mmmmmm... baked cheese.......
Reposted by Eggbutt
I think it's kind of beautiful that this was Rob Reiner's final line on television
December 15, 2025 at 10:52 PM
I think it's kind of beautiful that this was Rob Reiner's final line on television
you might not be here tomorrow or you might still be here in 50 years. either way your time is still finite, so spend it wisely.
unless you're Yareb the Immortal, a total fuckface who doesn't have to care about that
unless you're Yareb the Immortal, a total fuckface who doesn't have to care about that
December 12, 2025 at 3:06 PM
you might not be here tomorrow or you might still be here in 50 years. either way your time is still finite, so spend it wisely.
unless you're Yareb the Immortal, a total fuckface who doesn't have to care about that
unless you're Yareb the Immortal, a total fuckface who doesn't have to care about that
i have just been named Patron Saint of Finishing Off Other People's Drinks
December 4, 2025 at 9:49 AM
i have just been named Patron Saint of Finishing Off Other People's Drinks
the reason that Silica Gel says DO NOT EAT is because it all belongs to me and i'm going to eat it. i was just letting you borrrow it.
December 4, 2025 at 9:39 AM
the reason that Silica Gel says DO NOT EAT is because it all belongs to me and i'm going to eat it. i was just letting you borrrow it.
i have received messages from my future self, the lizard people cabal, and God. all begging me to Post More. but fuck them. i cannot be bothered.
December 4, 2025 at 9:36 AM
i have received messages from my future self, the lizard people cabal, and God. all begging me to Post More. but fuck them. i cannot be bothered.
behind every successful man is a fat ass
November 30, 2025 at 6:00 PM
behind every successful man is a fat ass
episode 3 of breaking bad has become Lost Media-- oh no wait here it is on netflix
November 30, 2025 at 5:36 AM
episode 3 of breaking bad has become Lost Media-- oh no wait here it is on netflix
trump just pardoned Hurricane Katrina
November 30, 2025 at 5:16 AM
trump just pardoned Hurricane Katrina
RULE ONE. WE DO NOT LEVITATE FOR FUN, EVER. WE LEVITATE TO COUNTERACT THE EVIL LEVITATORS.
November 30, 2025 at 5:11 AM
RULE ONE. WE DO NOT LEVITATE FOR FUN, EVER. WE LEVITATE TO COUNTERACT THE EVIL LEVITATORS.
anyone who says "laughter is the best medicine" has not watched "Joker" in which the main character ("Joker") laughs all the time and it's kinda horrible for him. he also kills a guy but that's neither here nor there. Joker
November 30, 2025 at 1:28 AM
anyone who says "laughter is the best medicine" has not watched "Joker" in which the main character ("Joker") laughs all the time and it's kinda horrible for him. he also kills a guy but that's neither here nor there. Joker
the amazing thing about a.i. is that you could fart, and i mean the nastiest fucking nutty professor ass fart, in the server room, and the a.i. just would not care. it would not bat a figurative eye. it would just keep obliterating the local and global environment like always
November 30, 2025 at 1:22 AM
the amazing thing about a.i. is that you could fart, and i mean the nastiest fucking nutty professor ass fart, in the server room, and the a.i. just would not care. it would not bat a figurative eye. it would just keep obliterating the local and global environment like always
"i have personal demons" ok bro me too
November 30, 2025 at 1:14 AM
"i have personal demons" ok bro me too
they sentenced the fart kid to death by firing squad because he farted. but he was pardoned because he was so good at farting.
November 30, 2025 at 12:56 AM
they sentenced the fart kid to death by firing squad because he farted. but he was pardoned because he was so good at farting.
watching dogs climb ladders to save babies on my facebook feed. no it's not a.i. look how real it looks. AMAZING ANIMALS EVERY DAY would not lie to me
November 30, 2025 at 12:47 AM
watching dogs climb ladders to save babies on my facebook feed. no it's not a.i. look how real it looks. AMAZING ANIMALS EVERY DAY would not lie to me
Reposted by Eggbutt
Big news! The groundhog is back at my sister's and she gave him a plum
November 25, 2025 at 12:39 PM
Big news! The groundhog is back at my sister's and she gave him a plum
Reposted by Eggbutt
"never start a sentence unless you know how you're gonna end it" is just a thinly veiled way to tell me to shut the fuck up forever
September 22, 2025 at 4:07 AM
"never start a sentence unless you know how you're gonna end it" is just a thinly veiled way to tell me to shut the fuck up forever
Reposted by Eggbutt
imagine a podcast that switches to video and you realize it's been recorded like this the whole time
November 6, 2025 at 10:44 PM
imagine a podcast that switches to video and you realize it's been recorded like this the whole time