Alfred F. Jones
@eagletears.bsky.social
Pinned
Alfred F. Jones
@eagletears.bsky.social
· Oct 23
a man with glasses is giving a thumbs up in front of music notes
ALT: a man with glasses is giving a thumbs up in front of music notes
media.tenor.com
✧*。≈Ηεrο≈ ✧*。
APH America
★ Barely not a joke account
★ 18 or older, MDNI
★ Matches detail, crossover friendly
APH America
★ Barely not a joke account
★ 18 or older, MDNI
★ Matches detail, crossover friendly
Honestly yeah, it's too bad he's a cop
Good on him for shooting that guy in the dick.
November 21, 2025 at 7:46 AM
Honestly yeah, it's too bad he's a cop
November 21, 2025 at 7:35 AM
The dick shooting is canon in RoboCop though
You could write a book with the scenarios you imagine.
No but I could be a surrogate or somehow have like an alien robot come down from space and impregnate me then I have a alien baby RoboCop that I'd have to raise to shoot evildoers in the dick
November 21, 2025 at 7:25 AM
The dick shooting is canon in RoboCop though
No but I could be a surrogate or somehow have like an alien robot come down from space and impregnate me then I have a alien baby RoboCop that I'd have to raise to shoot evildoers in the dick
Are you half robot?
WHAT IF I GAVE BIRTH TO ROBOCOP
November 21, 2025 at 7:18 AM
No but I could be a surrogate or somehow have like an alien robot come down from space and impregnate me then I have a alien baby RoboCop that I'd have to raise to shoot evildoers in the dick
WHAT IF I GAVE BIRTH TO ROBOCOP
At least you won't be birthing an animatronic suit.
Dude what's evil is both can happen to me
November 21, 2025 at 7:10 AM
WHAT IF I GAVE BIRTH TO ROBOCOP
Dude what's evil is both can happen to me
Would you rather deal with random boners, or giving birth to Freddy Fazbear? Because if you give birth to Freddy five bears he comes out and he says “or or or or or or or or or orrrr” and then he kills Michael Afton. Or he tries to do it along with his friends. Bunny the Bonnie. Chica the Kitchen -
Weird ass biology. I don't wanna be dealing with this garbage
November 21, 2025 at 7:04 AM
Dude what's evil is both can happen to me
Weird ass biology. I don't wanna be dealing with this garbage
Makes sense. Guys get boners for everything.
Fun fact they don't tell you before starting T: you can and will get fear boners
November 21, 2025 at 6:56 AM
Weird ass biology. I don't wanna be dealing with this garbage
Fun fact they don't tell you before starting T: you can and will get fear boners
November 20, 2025 at 3:20 AM
Fun fact they don't tell you before starting T: you can and will get fear boners
Pregaming Thanksgiving by eating steadily larger birds
November 15, 2025 at 7:28 PM
Pregaming Thanksgiving by eating steadily larger birds
Gilbert's got the gorilla grip
November 9, 2025 at 1:56 AM
Gilbert's got the gorilla grip
We are in fact talking about stew
October 29, 2025 at 9:10 PM
We are in fact talking about stew
Would meat screw it up? Like if I put hotdog pieces in it
I guess? That might work.
I don't have blinding mushrooms. Can I just soak some in bleach or something? Or would that be too dangerous?
October 23, 2025 at 7:22 AM
Would meat screw it up? Like if I put hotdog pieces in it
I don't have blinding mushrooms. Can I just soak some in bleach or something? Or would that be too dangerous?
3 blinding mushrooms, roughly chopped
1 onion, finely chopped
1 clove of garlic, crushed
2 carrots, finely chopped
250 g green lentils
olive oil
salt and pepper
1 litre good vegetable stock
1 onion, finely chopped
1 clove of garlic, crushed
2 carrots, finely chopped
250 g green lentils
olive oil
salt and pepper
1 litre good vegetable stock
...how do you make one day blinding soup
October 23, 2025 at 6:59 AM
I don't have blinding mushrooms. Can I just soak some in bleach or something? Or would that be too dangerous?
...how do you make one day blinding soup
Right~?
Oh my god that's such a good idea
October 23, 2025 at 1:58 AM
...how do you make one day blinding soup
Oh my god that's such a good idea
Make her one day blinding soup and put it at her door with a "From Ivan" tag on it.
What if his sister reads his text messages and gets the wrong idea
October 23, 2025 at 1:24 AM
Oh my god that's such a good idea
What if his sister reads his text messages and gets the wrong idea
Text him then.
I'm shy 👉👈
October 23, 2025 at 1:01 AM
What if his sister reads his text messages and gets the wrong idea
I'm shy 👉👈
Why don't you ask him to check them?
Man, why can't Ivan check my glands? Some guys get all the luck
October 23, 2025 at 12:20 AM
I'm shy 👉👈
Man, why can't Ivan check my glands? Some guys get all the luck
October 22, 2025 at 11:08 PM
Man, why can't Ivan check my glands? Some guys get all the luck
Ivan makes fun of me for constantly making jokes about farts but then drops an image of latex fart boobs
October 13, 2025 at 6:01 AM
Ivan makes fun of me for constantly making jokes about farts but then drops an image of latex fart boobs
Ableist
[ Reaches over and takes his glasses. ]
Oops.
Oops.
What if I do this?
[He pulls the side of his mouth apart, sticks his tongue out, and crosses his eyes]
Nyeh nyeh!
[He pulls the side of his mouth apart, sticks his tongue out, and crosses his eyes]
Nyeh nyeh!
October 12, 2025 at 5:55 AM
Ableist
What if I do this?
[He pulls the side of his mouth apart, sticks his tongue out, and crosses his eyes]
Nyeh nyeh!
[He pulls the side of his mouth apart, sticks his tongue out, and crosses his eyes]
Nyeh nyeh!
I am not going to entertain this childish game.
I know you are but what am I
October 12, 2025 at 5:12 AM
What if I do this?
[He pulls the side of his mouth apart, sticks his tongue out, and crosses his eyes]
Nyeh nyeh!
[He pulls the side of his mouth apart, sticks his tongue out, and crosses his eyes]
Nyeh nyeh!
I know you are but what am I
You are slacking.
Not quite that taken
October 12, 2025 at 5:03 AM
I know you are but what am I
Not quite that taken
Like the little men I tie up and shove into my backpack.
He's taken 😤
October 12, 2025 at 3:27 AM
Not quite that taken
Reposted by Alfred F. Jones
Cracking open a cold one with the boys. Before I put them to work.
October 11, 2025 at 9:43 AM
Cracking open a cold one with the boys. Before I put them to work.