I feel like mario doesn't even know who waluigi is. like when waluigi shows up to the race track he gets stopped by security at the door and they don't believe that he knows the owner

Imagine outsourcing all your thinking to a guy who still only has two Pokémon badges after 80 hours of gameplay.

Dodgers broadcast was discussing the science behind the perception of time between children and adults. After hearing the explanation, the color commentator pauses and asks, "Am I gonna feel any better?"

Andy Pages then smashes a dinger into space, thus ending the existential crisis on commentary.

if I was a professional basketball player, every time a teammate passed me the ball I would immediately punt it into the stands as hard as I possibly could

if I was a toucan, I think it'd be really satisfying to eat a hot dog in one chomp

constantly anxiously fiddling with my windshield wiper controls whenever it rains in hopes that when I drive past strangers they'll think "wow, now there's a guy with his windshield wipers at the perfect speed!"

saw a familiar name on @bookpeople.bsky.social's st. george display!

👀 @heyluchie.bsky.social

conceptually, towels are so embarrassing. I think if aliens ever visited earth, it's the thing they'd make fun of us the most for

penguins shouldn't be birds, they should be some other thing

unown but it's the shape of the cool S

we make do

wanna feel old? we're now closer to the year futurama starts (2999) than we are to the year that fry gets frozen (1999)

acab

my favorite star wars character

updated list of the hobbit mealtimes to better reflect the realities of the modern world

breakfast
second breakfast
whataburger breakfast (last chance)
elevenses
brunch
luncheon
afternoon tea
afternoon boba
420
dinner
supper
jack in the box munchie meal
fourthmeal