This has the makings of Michael Caine's performance in a Muppet Christmas Carol - full commitment to the bit, acting as if they're all human actors.

I WANT IT

i don't think they know you enjoy the game
bsky.app/profile/them...

it's efficacy varies as a rng stat rolled on the background story you get during character creation, but additional points open new avenues on completionist runs

please provide me the number to schedule with your luck quotient provider, i'm gonna need to have a manager take a look at it and make some adjustments because it's obviously out of whack

(heal soon, friend!)

Timeless, as ever

Pizza Pirates, as they were!
Raise the sails! Our bounty awaits!

i will do the illegal thing and be excited²