*in OMFG, hoisted by my own dad joke petard

At this point I'm the typos I am assuming you are having curry for dinner and meant to order Lamb Gosht

"these penalties are terrible" oh sorry I didn't realise you had played in a number of decisive international matches

This account needs to be renamed to "men are weird"

I love the idea of tagging individual eggs and plums and tiny little stuff tho lol. "Stop, raisin thief!"

Plus removing or cancelling the tag from every item at checkout would be so unreliable, literally everyone would set off the alarm every time, be cheaper and less time consuming to just have a security guard check everyone's bag on the way out

“You’re six months behind! You’re missing out!” No, buddy, I’m a cybersecurity consultant and not a moron

All the roflcopters grounded

Everybody needs a Plumbus

I went through a phase of getting pie and chips on the way home drunk and making an impractically large pie+chip sandwich on warburtons toastie, was great omg the carb sadness the day after

That thing has had so much use, you should prob just buy a replacement instead of continually washing it to rags. You'll get your money's worth out of a new one.

Per Douglas Adams, the British consider food a means of atonement for unspecified national sins.

Add part of a letter to your name and you could be Pope Raspberry Pi