Tonight! This show will be packed with hilarity for sure, but there's an added attraction: you get to see my hairline recede in real time!

Fans, friends, folks come check out some comedy this week. Great venues and fun lineups. See you there!

Pink circle: Ref who called the foul on Providence.

Blue circle: Ref who talked the other ref out of his call AND called a foul on UConn.

No replay, they just decided the guy farther away and shielded from the action had the better view.

Unfortunately, this Saturday's show has been cancelled due to the stupid weather. Why? Because it's stupid.

Big news! I'm going to be part of the Good Karma Mid-Atlantic Comedy Festival! Come check it out at M&M'S on March 1!

Gator don't play no fact-checking.

Just one example of my design skills. Notice how I used a subtle pop of color to grab the viewers' attention.

Great news: I am now offering my design services to the public! So if you're looking for an eye-catching poster, reach out now. I have packages for all budgets, starting as low as $899!

I was on the fence about subscribing to the Wall Street Journal, but seeing that they have content from leading etiquette and fashion expert Pete Davidson has won me over.

Narrator: Something different did, in fact, happen.

In the Baylor-UConn game, this shot was initially ruled a three.. It was then reviewed and changed to a two. This wasn't even the worst review call of the game.

Best films that take place in one day

YOU'RE OUT OF ORDER! YOU'RE OUT OF ORDER! THIS WHOLE DAMN SYSTEM IS OUT.... Actually, you know what? You're right, it's mostly me. But still, you have to admit, the system is pretty bad too, so... Eh, it's all me, really.

YOU SHALL NOT PARSE... my, um, statements to, you know, determine their truthfulness.

🎶 I'M A LIAR!! 🎶

"someBODY..." 🎶🎶🎶

WHY ARE WE YELLING?

WE'RE ALL TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHO DID THIS!

GET OFF THE SHED!