dan ozzi
@danozzi.bsky.social
universally beloved author
www.danozzi.com
linktr.ee/danozzi
www.danozzi.com
linktr.ee/danozzi
this is the top user photo of my book on its amazon page. it has extremely cursed energy and i hate it so much. if you are the user who posted it ("jack") i am asking you to please remove it and free me from this monkey's curse.
November 10, 2025 at 6:47 PM
this is the top user photo of my book on its amazon page. it has extremely cursed energy and i hate it so much. if you are the user who posted it ("jack") i am asking you to please remove it and free me from this monkey's curse.
made some stickers. throwing one in with every order in my store until they run out.
danozzi.bigcartel.com
danozzi.bigcartel.com
November 7, 2025 at 7:01 PM
made some stickers. throwing one in with every order in my store until they run out.
danozzi.bigcartel.com
danozzi.bigcartel.com
honey let me see your phone battery
luke:
luke:
November 1, 2025 at 1:13 AM
honey let me see your phone battery
luke:
luke:
let me know if i can help! happy to drive you around in my car
October 23, 2025 at 5:04 PM
let me know if i can help! happy to drive you around in my car
"are you celebrating national charlie kirk day?"
me:
me:
October 15, 2025 at 12:33 AM
"are you celebrating national charlie kirk day?"
me:
me:
secured my copy of my dude @lukeoneil47.bsky.social's new one. probly the book i've been most looking forward to this year. no one is doing it like luke right now.
bookshop.org/a/97174/9781...
bookshop.org/a/97174/9781...
October 15, 2025 at 12:21 AM
secured my copy of my dude @lukeoneil47.bsky.social's new one. probly the book i've been most looking forward to this year. no one is doing it like luke right now.
bookshop.org/a/97174/9781...
bookshop.org/a/97174/9781...
here's a good look at this dumbass thing
October 14, 2025 at 9:55 PM
here's a good look at this dumbass thing
need everyone to see this one-star review of a dog trainer
September 5, 2025 at 3:48 PM
need everyone to see this one-star review of a dog trainer
TWO cybertrucks parked in compact spots in the same lot. get these losers off this planet!!
August 31, 2025 at 1:48 AM
TWO cybertrucks parked in compact spots in the same lot. get these losers off this planet!!
My beautiful publication ZERO CRED turns 6 years old this week. On Friday I’m gonna run a raffle for my paid subscribers to give away (almost) everything I’ve made in that time.
Upgrade for 50% off to get in on it!
danozzi.substack.com/d58fbfc8
Upgrade for 50% off to get in on it!
danozzi.substack.com/d58fbfc8
August 25, 2025 at 6:38 PM
My beautiful publication ZERO CRED turns 6 years old this week. On Friday I’m gonna run a raffle for my paid subscribers to give away (almost) everything I’ve made in that time.
Upgrade for 50% off to get in on it!
danozzi.substack.com/d58fbfc8
Upgrade for 50% off to get in on it!
danozzi.substack.com/d58fbfc8
googled my train number to see if it was delayed. google's ai told me it was late according to a "recent update" on X. clicked the link to said recent update to see it was 4 years old. ai is truly amazing technology and we should definitely be trusting our medical and financial information with it.
August 15, 2025 at 6:44 PM
googled my train number to see if it was delayed. google's ai told me it was late according to a "recent update" on X. clicked the link to said recent update to see it was 4 years old. ai is truly amazing technology and we should definitely be trusting our medical and financial information with it.
as a society we are beyond cooked
June 22, 2025 at 1:15 AM
as a society we are beyond cooked
the new murder by death album dropped on friday. i got to take the photo on the cover and look how gorgeous! hot damn
June 16, 2025 at 4:52 PM
the new murder by death album dropped on friday. i got to take the photo on the cover and look how gorgeous! hot damn
yeah my book SELLOUT was written with AI
A n
I ncredibly overwhelming amount of work that drove me to an insanity i'm still not sure i've fully recovered from
danozzi.bigcartel.com/product/sell...
A n
I ncredibly overwhelming amount of work that drove me to an insanity i'm still not sure i've fully recovered from
danozzi.bigcartel.com/product/sell...
June 13, 2025 at 4:49 PM
yeah my book SELLOUT was written with AI
A n
I ncredibly overwhelming amount of work that drove me to an insanity i'm still not sure i've fully recovered from
danozzi.bigcartel.com/product/sell...
A n
I ncredibly overwhelming amount of work that drove me to an insanity i'm still not sure i've fully recovered from
danozzi.bigcartel.com/product/sell...
got to write an essay for vinegar syndrome's Dirty Work box set which includes the dirtier cut.
June 6, 2025 at 4:05 PM
got to write an essay for vinegar syndrome's Dirty Work box set which includes the dirtier cut.
elon driving a cybertruck into the white house
June 5, 2025 at 7:41 PM
elon driving a cybertruck into the white house
quick rhyme to help you differentiate:
if he tells you to let love in,
that's nick cave and has always been
if he steals the declaration of independence,
then brother that's nick cage in attendance
if he tells you to let love in,
that's nick cave and has always been
if he steals the declaration of independence,
then brother that's nick cage in attendance
May 15, 2025 at 6:00 PM
quick rhyme to help you differentiate:
if he tells you to let love in,
that's nick cave and has always been
if he steals the declaration of independence,
then brother that's nick cage in attendance
if he tells you to let love in,
that's nick cave and has always been
if he steals the declaration of independence,
then brother that's nick cage in attendance
working title: IF THESE BALLS COULD TALK
April 22, 2025 at 5:01 PM
working title: IF THESE BALLS COULD TALK