I feel like I have to behave on here

Let's talk about Daylight Savings Time.

Pro: Nearly an extra hour of awake daylight time in summer.

Con: Costs from confusion, lost sleep

SOLUTION:

Eliminate clocks, return to daylight reckoning for timekeeping.

Pro: Meetings set at times like "when the oak's shadow touches the Elm."

Con: None

I never want to talk about Altoona, PA again.

The good people of Altoona must turn over this snitch

A combo named “The Holy Trinity” with a really good caesar salad, a cup of french onion soup, and a small side of fries. I will make a billion dollars

only had 3 beers at the company holiday party when I was aiming for at least 13.

listening to the goo goo dolls this morning, setting the tone for the day.

Outlook isn’t working so neither am I!!!’

my customer service voice is the most disgusting and vile sound

watching sex and the city in 2024 and it’s changing who I am.

this is so fucked. someone ate all the chocolate out of my candy bowl.

5:30 pm? no way. it’s definitely 10:30 pm right now.

RIP Elvis, you would have done a really incredible cover of "Pink Pony Club" it's literally all ive been able to think about today

my original first tweet was jonas brothers lyrics in 2009. I don’t know how I can top that.