Update: Hey AJ, if you're looking to upgrade your security details, give me a call!

"My fields do not yield any meaningful bounty, my best cow died last year, and some days the well is dry. I am poor, surely you can see that. I have nothing."

The king said "I see... in that case, as your king, I demand half of your nothing."

So the farmer shot him in the face.

The farmer was making his morning tea when there was a powerful knock on his door. He answered and found himself face to face with the king.

"I hear you are refusing to pay what you owe in tax," said the king

The farmer said "how can I pay what I do not have?"
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"If this is by order of the king, then send him here so he can witness firsthand how his 'loyal subjects' are living."

So the tax man went to the castle and told the king what had transpired. The king stroked his beard and nodded, then ordered his servants to prepare his horse.

The next day...
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"By order of the king, I am demanding you to pay a fourth of your profit as tax and for refusing to pay on time."

The farmer said "Have you no eyes? I have nothing. This morning I ate an apple core for breakfast. And who are you to impose a penalty on me for simply wanting to plead my case?"
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"I have nothing. I barely have enough to feed myself. Some nights I don't even have enough wood for a fire. And who are you to demand tax? Send the tax man to have him see for himself."

So the mayor sent word to the tax man. The next week, the tax man arrived at the farmer's door.
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I'm just that good 😎

Hell yeah brother 😎