Cristela Alonzo
@cristela.bsky.social
Stand-up comic.
Sometimes I sit down.
Got 2 specials on Netflix.
Made TV history.
I’m a yellow car.
I wrote a book.
Thrifter and vintagerererrrrrr.
cristelaalonzo.com
Sometimes I sit down.
Got 2 specials on Netflix.
Made TV history.
I’m a yellow car.
I wrote a book.
Thrifter and vintagerererrrrrr.
cristelaalonzo.com
Stay tuned for tomorrow. Announcing cities tomorrow and tickets will be on sale this week too. And yes….I will be adding more cities.
Custom @lego minifig from their website. I ordered brown hair. For some reason it looks reddish in this pic? 🤷🏻♀️
Custom @lego minifig from their website. I ordered brown hair. For some reason it looks reddish in this pic? 🤷🏻♀️
November 16, 2025 at 10:47 PM
Stay tuned for tomorrow. Announcing cities tomorrow and tickets will be on sale this week too. And yes….I will be adding more cities.
Custom @lego minifig from their website. I ordered brown hair. For some reason it looks reddish in this pic? 🤷🏻♀️
Custom @lego minifig from their website. I ordered brown hair. For some reason it looks reddish in this pic? 🤷🏻♀️
Hi! #UpperClassy will stream globally on @NetflixIsAJoke September 23!
Countdown starts now: 5 weeks.
I’m teaching my family (and myself) how to enjoy life…whether we like it or not. Truth is, the problem isn’t that you don’t work enough, it’s that you work too much. 🇲🇽❤️🇺🇸
Countdown starts now: 5 weeks.
I’m teaching my family (and myself) how to enjoy life…whether we like it or not. Truth is, the problem isn’t that you don’t work enough, it’s that you work too much. 🇲🇽❤️🇺🇸
August 19, 2025 at 8:24 PM
Hi! #UpperClassy will stream globally on @NetflixIsAJoke September 23!
Countdown starts now: 5 weeks.
I’m teaching my family (and myself) how to enjoy life…whether we like it or not. Truth is, the problem isn’t that you don’t work enough, it’s that you work too much. 🇲🇽❤️🇺🇸
Countdown starts now: 5 weeks.
I’m teaching my family (and myself) how to enjoy life…whether we like it or not. Truth is, the problem isn’t that you don’t work enough, it’s that you work too much. 🇲🇽❤️🇺🇸
It’s crazy that I have to announce an announcement but this algorithm is no joke. Ay nos vemos mañana.
August 19, 2025 at 4:23 AM
It’s crazy that I have to announce an announcement but this algorithm is no joke. Ay nos vemos mañana.
NEXT SHOWS: BREA, CA
Tickets on sale NOW! I’m coming to do THREE shows the Brea IMPROV in August. After that, I don’t have any shows in the books for a while. That’s it for stand-up for a bit…but only for a little bit.
GET TICKETS HERE: improv.com/brea/comic/c...
Tickets on sale NOW! I’m coming to do THREE shows the Brea IMPROV in August. After that, I don’t have any shows in the books for a while. That’s it for stand-up for a bit…but only for a little bit.
GET TICKETS HERE: improv.com/brea/comic/c...
June 18, 2025 at 11:42 PM
NEXT SHOWS: BREA, CA
Tickets on sale NOW! I’m coming to do THREE shows the Brea IMPROV in August. After that, I don’t have any shows in the books for a while. That’s it for stand-up for a bit…but only for a little bit.
GET TICKETS HERE: improv.com/brea/comic/c...
Tickets on sale NOW! I’m coming to do THREE shows the Brea IMPROV in August. After that, I don’t have any shows in the books for a while. That’s it for stand-up for a bit…but only for a little bit.
GET TICKETS HERE: improv.com/brea/comic/c...
THIS WEEKEND: PHOENIX!
Well technically, Chandler, AZ. Doing FOUR shows @micdropcomedychandler this weekend and I prepare to shoot my THIRD Netflix special in Dallas. SIX MORE WEEKS!
Tickets here: www.micdropcomedychandler.com/events/111762
Well technically, Chandler, AZ. Doing FOUR shows @micdropcomedychandler this weekend and I prepare to shoot my THIRD Netflix special in Dallas. SIX MORE WEEKS!
Tickets here: www.micdropcomedychandler.com/events/111762
May 5, 2025 at 9:38 PM
THIS WEEKEND: PHOENIX!
Well technically, Chandler, AZ. Doing FOUR shows @micdropcomedychandler this weekend and I prepare to shoot my THIRD Netflix special in Dallas. SIX MORE WEEKS!
Tickets here: www.micdropcomedychandler.com/events/111762
Well technically, Chandler, AZ. Doing FOUR shows @micdropcomedychandler this weekend and I prepare to shoot my THIRD Netflix special in Dallas. SIX MORE WEEKS!
Tickets here: www.micdropcomedychandler.com/events/111762
Don’t act all surprised like you didn’t know what you were voting for…
April 28, 2025 at 3:58 AM
Don’t act all surprised like you didn’t know what you were voting for…
HOW DO I HAVE MY MOM AND GRANDMA’S NAMES TAKING CARE OF ME TODAY???? What a moment. I wish you all had seen my face when I realized it!!!! It’s a sign. I know it. I accept it. God is good. ❤️🤯
April 27, 2025 at 6:52 PM
HOW DO I HAVE MY MOM AND GRANDMA’S NAMES TAKING CARE OF ME TODAY???? What a moment. I wish you all had seen my face when I realized it!!!! It’s a sign. I know it. I accept it. God is good. ❤️🤯
NETFLIX TAPING: DALLAS, TEXAS. JUNE 14. THE MAJESTIC.
Tickets on sale THIS Wednesday (March 19 at 10 AM) for fans with the code: CLASSY
I started stand-up in Dallas in 2003 so when it was time to pick the location of the new special…I had to go back to where it all started.
Tickets on sale THIS Wednesday (March 19 at 10 AM) for fans with the code: CLASSY
I started stand-up in Dallas in 2003 so when it was time to pick the location of the new special…I had to go back to where it all started.
March 17, 2025 at 10:03 PM
NETFLIX TAPING: DALLAS, TEXAS. JUNE 14. THE MAJESTIC.
Tickets on sale THIS Wednesday (March 19 at 10 AM) for fans with the code: CLASSY
I started stand-up in Dallas in 2003 so when it was time to pick the location of the new special…I had to go back to where it all started.
Tickets on sale THIS Wednesday (March 19 at 10 AM) for fans with the code: CLASSY
I started stand-up in Dallas in 2003 so when it was time to pick the location of the new special…I had to go back to where it all started.
THIS MONDAY! ESTE LUNES!
I’ve done Lower and Middle so let’s finish out the stand-up trilogy with UPPER CLASSY! it’s going to be 🔥🔥🔥🔥…and I mean that because im shooting it in the middle of summer lol.
I’ve done Lower and Middle so let’s finish out the stand-up trilogy with UPPER CLASSY! it’s going to be 🔥🔥🔥🔥…and I mean that because im shooting it in the middle of summer lol.
March 15, 2025 at 8:21 PM
THIS MONDAY! ESTE LUNES!
I’ve done Lower and Middle so let’s finish out the stand-up trilogy with UPPER CLASSY! it’s going to be 🔥🔥🔥🔥…and I mean that because im shooting it in the middle of summer lol.
I’ve done Lower and Middle so let’s finish out the stand-up trilogy with UPPER CLASSY! it’s going to be 🔥🔥🔥🔥…and I mean that because im shooting it in the middle of summer lol.
THIS WEEKEND: SAN DIEGO!
Doing FIVE shows at Mic Drop Comedy Club! Prepping my hour that I’m shooting in June. Come check it out! Always love coming to the club! 😘
Tickets here: micdropcomedy.com/events/97840
Doing FIVE shows at Mic Drop Comedy Club! Prepping my hour that I’m shooting in June. Come check it out! Always love coming to the club! 😘
Tickets here: micdropcomedy.com/events/97840
March 7, 2025 at 5:11 AM
THIS WEEKEND: SAN DIEGO!
Doing FIVE shows at Mic Drop Comedy Club! Prepping my hour that I’m shooting in June. Come check it out! Always love coming to the club! 😘
Tickets here: micdropcomedy.com/events/97840
Doing FIVE shows at Mic Drop Comedy Club! Prepping my hour that I’m shooting in June. Come check it out! Always love coming to the club! 😘
Tickets here: micdropcomedy.com/events/97840
JUST ANNOUNCED! LOS ANGELES! I'm coming to The Wiltern on March 30! I'm doing ONE show The Wiltern - presale tickets go on sale TOMORROW morning!
🎤 Artist Presale starts Thursday 12/12 @ 10 AM Use Code: Classy
Ticket link for presale here: ticketmaster.com/event/09006186C11D3A10
🎤 Artist Presale starts Thursday 12/12 @ 10 AM Use Code: Classy
Ticket link for presale here: ticketmaster.com/event/09006186C11D3A10
December 12, 2024 at 12:10 AM
JUST ANNOUNCED! LOS ANGELES! I'm coming to The Wiltern on March 30! I'm doing ONE show The Wiltern - presale tickets go on sale TOMORROW morning!
🎤 Artist Presale starts Thursday 12/12 @ 10 AM Use Code: Classy
Ticket link for presale here: ticketmaster.com/event/09006186C11D3A10
🎤 Artist Presale starts Thursday 12/12 @ 10 AM Use Code: Classy
Ticket link for presale here: ticketmaster.com/event/09006186C11D3A10
LAST SHOWS ON THE ROAD FOR 2024!!!
Next shows: Albuquerque! Well, close to Albuquerque! You can drive from Santa Fe too? 4 SHOWS Quezada's Comedy Club - both early shows are sold out but tickets left for the late ones. Hope to see you there!
Tickets here: quezadas.holdmyticket.com/tickets/4358...
Next shows: Albuquerque! Well, close to Albuquerque! You can drive from Santa Fe too? 4 SHOWS Quezada's Comedy Club - both early shows are sold out but tickets left for the late ones. Hope to see you there!
Tickets here: quezadas.holdmyticket.com/tickets/4358...
November 25, 2024 at 8:26 PM
LAST SHOWS ON THE ROAD FOR 2024!!!
Next shows: Albuquerque! Well, close to Albuquerque! You can drive from Santa Fe too? 4 SHOWS Quezada's Comedy Club - both early shows are sold out but tickets left for the late ones. Hope to see you there!
Tickets here: quezadas.holdmyticket.com/tickets/4358...
Next shows: Albuquerque! Well, close to Albuquerque! You can drive from Santa Fe too? 4 SHOWS Quezada's Comedy Club - both early shows are sold out but tickets left for the late ones. Hope to see you there!
Tickets here: quezadas.holdmyticket.com/tickets/4358...
