Thank fuck 2025 is finally over

I wish I didn't have to rely on an online long distance relationship

I wish I didn't have to rely on people from the internet that live thousands of miles away from me to be my friends

I wish I had more irl friends I could spend time with

I wish I wasn't doomed to be lonely for the rest my life

I've been thinking a lot about the relationships I have.. and how i want more than what can realistically be given to me because of distance limitations

I don't know where exactly to go.. but this is getting harder for me to do and just say its all fine

Sometimes I wish I could remove specific people from my following list on my main account, i don't really like having over 300 followers.. lol

I kinda wish I could go back to a smaller following number, I suppose that's the point of having this second account but so few of my friends follow it so

Eh, never mind

I'm really happy i can see natalie again really i am

But a part of me can't stop thinking that I've done this too soon and I'm still not fully ready, like I only did it because the opportunity was shown to me and I felt like it was my only shot

I just feel weird about it all still..

I zoned out earlier and had no idea what was going on or what happened but when I snapped back I had a little headache.. it was.. really weird

Had a dream where i was in a theater watching some weird anime about a group needing to find and rescue a girl that got sucked into a computer because she unknowingly had a bad card from some evil being that pulled her in, and for some fucking reason i was there with someone that was my... (1/2)

A little belated birthday gift for @nataliispeaks.bsky.social :)

As usual likes and reposts are appreciated 💜

#FriendOC #OC #Art

I think tomorrow I'm.. gonna try to message Natalie and catch up.. and apologize about everything

I'm.. a little nervous.. ik she said she'd be genuinely happy to see me again but like.. idk.. we've basically started over, and because of that I'm just not sure where to go or how to process it all

Literally got no sleep tonight, constant tossing and turning, trying to put something on to help me fall asleep, did nothing.

And now my throat aches after it was already aching a few days ago

Today's going to suck

Literally after making this post last night, tonight the chance actually came and now I'm in a server with her once again... I admit the way i got here was... not great.. but I won't go into that

My heart jumped so much... honestly speaking it feels weird seeing her again... but, I'm happy...

I've been having repeated dreams of trying to talk to my past friend Natalie and reconnect with her, just last night it happened again and she said she missed seeing me for the past 5 months and was happy to see me again

I somehow doubt if I actually did it for real it wouldn't be as easy

Hiya

Welcome to my more personal account for mutuals only from @thecoolerjess.bsky.social

This account may not be too active but I'll share whatever stuff is on my mind, some may be silly, some may be dark

I also just wanted an account that isn't as big in follower account as my main account...