HAMM FROM TOY STORY
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compyman.bsky.social
HAMM FROM TOY STORY
@compyman.bsky.social
11 followers 83 following 14 posts
A plastic piggy bank
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compyman.bsky.social
Inchoate screaming
A Salesforce advertisement showing a blissfully ignorant model and the text “What if government worked like your favorite app?”
October 31, 2025 at 2:01 AM
Reposted by HAMM FROM TOY STORY
merrittk.com
society erred when we removed the computer from its honored place in the home and ushered it into every part of our profane world. we must rebuild the temple of the Computer Room
March 20, 2025 at 2:57 PM
Reposted by HAMM FROM TOY STORY
vaporlight.bsky.social
ever wondered about what ranking officers in the us civil war were like? good news. there's not that many types of them. here you go
TYPES OF CIVIL WAR OFFICER 1. Autism's strongest soldier. Has a personality disorder but lives in an era where psychiatric medicine consists largely of laudanum and different temperatures of bath. Famously effective, enduringly divisive. Postwar career: promoted far beyond the level of their incompetence or skeletized remains in a ditch somewhere (Grant, Jackson, Longstreet) 2. Messy bitch who loves drama. Actively worse leadership than pointing anyone who shows up with a gun in a direction and telling them to go nuts. All things being equal, every commissioned officer rank will be occupied by these guys in peacetime and arguably a large part of the gradual snowballing success of the Union consisted of more vigorous sectional politics weeding them out faster. Postwar career: photographed in uniform and maybe a very tedious statue and biography or two (McClellan, Lee, Rosecrans) 2a. Messy bitch who loves drama prestige class unlocked after Antietam: messy bitch who loves drama and also loves posing for photographs and has become good at it. Would be very good at dying gallantly in a meaningless charge into a fortified German trench, but is tragically too early for it. Postwar career: universal admiration followed by complete historical oblivion a generation after their death (Burnside, Bragg, Hood) 2b. Messy bitch who loves drama prestige class unlocked after Chancellorsville: submissive and breedable partyboy inexplicably wearing stars. Each army gets exactly one; reporters love them, nobody exactly hates them, but when the red mist dies down historians unanimously agree they were a liability. Postwar career: who cares (Custer, Beauregard) 3. Ideologue. The higher the ideologue gets in the chain of command, the less interesting they are as officers qua officers. The ideology is usually just racism, but there were also a few extremely weird German communists exiled to the Midwest who imprinted on the Union like a lost baby bird. Every Confederate officer you've never heard of but have seen statues of is this guy; they treat war as posting by other means. Postwar career: forum avatar (Early, Sherman) 4. Fighting Joe. For whatever reason, the officer's contemporaries have decided a fine thing to call him going forward is "Fighting Joe", and now here we are. You are watching Fighting Joe, the worst general officer in the American civil war. Postwar career: being Fighting Joe (Hooker, Wheeler) 5. Steppe warlord junior varsity. A late development, largely on the Confederate side; these officers, like a dog fed on human flesh, have decided they're done with civilization and, after a failed attempt to inaugurate iron-fisted strongman rule over a random scrap of the deep South, keep wandering off into places they consider uncivilized and being just about as useless there as they were in Arkansas or wherever. Postwar career: incarceration in a Turkish prison (Kirby Smith, Sibley, Norris) 6. Dark triad sicko. Perfectly functional within an organization if properly contained, but if left to their own devices will absolutely start rounding up civilians and doing Saw shit, and you just gotta account for that when having a civil war. Postwar career: bedwetting and starting fires (Forrest, Butler)
May 24, 2025 at 5:05 AM
Reposted by HAMM FROM TOY STORY
xoxogossipgita.bsky.social
Chag pesach sameach :)
April 12, 2025 at 11:55 PM
Reposted by HAMM FROM TOY STORY
austinwalker.bsky.social
y'all ever see a take so bad you are forced to immediately go to sleep?
February 5, 2025 at 3:28 AM
Reposted by HAMM FROM TOY STORY
austinwalker.bsky.social
January 16, 2025 at 6:26 PM