ME: *showers*

MY SHAMPOO BOTTLE FOR SOME REASON: Good morning, Let me know if you need help with anything 😊

It’s obvious. The feds took the blazers under for regular season win total

“Babe I’m so wet. My servers are cooled with thousands of gallons of water every day”

Devestating

He looks like if pat tillman was in back to the future 2

He’s trying to use internet slang from 10 years ago and still somehow failing lmao

“We’re looking for a guy on a 90s sitcom who tries to get the teen characters to smoke weed”

>>business only reads resumes for buzzwords
>>people write only buzzwords
>>business stops reading cause it’s only buzzwords
>>people stop writing cause no one is reading

May as well say “I love watching the big game on my Amazon Firestick. It’s as exciting as listening to a song on Amazon Music or ordering a product through Amazon Prime”

“Here at Cuckoo we’re disrupting the time industry through the integration of avian storytelling”

I’m gen z and my mom pulls me to work every morning in a little red wagon