The Democrats caving means they’re going to lose me forever if they don’t get that Epstein list on my desk by Friday. And it better be good, too. I’m talking scorched earth, dozens of resignations, government-destabilizing stuff
November 11, 2025 at 7:21 PM
The Democrats caving means they’re going to lose me forever if they don’t get that Epstein list on my desk by Friday. And it better be good, too. I’m talking scorched earth, dozens of resignations, government-destabilizing stuff
In an alternate universe Julio walks instead of striking out without being thrown a strike, Cal hits a homer, and Munoz saves. The Mariners still lose to the Dodgers in the World Series, and Donald Trump lives to be 98 and wins two more terms as president, but that is the closest reality to ours
October 21, 2025 at 3:20 AM
In an alternate universe Julio walks instead of striking out without being thrown a strike, Cal hits a homer, and Munoz saves. The Mariners still lose to the Dodgers in the World Series, and Donald Trump lives to be 98 and wins two more terms as president, but that is the closest reality to ours
And the award for coolest guy ever goes to: Travis Kelce, for ‘being a Super Bowl champion who used his podcast to pull a billionaire pop star and having a hog so good she wrote a song about it’
October 4, 2025 at 7:07 AM
And the award for coolest guy ever goes to: Travis Kelce, for ‘being a Super Bowl champion who used his podcast to pull a billionaire pop star and having a hog so good she wrote a song about it’
Hi, it’s me, the guy from the Cracker Barrel logo. If you’re confused as to why removing me and my barrel from the logo is being viewed as “woke” it’s because that barrel is where I stored all of the little slips of paper I would write the n-word on! Enjoy your eggs!
August 22, 2025 at 9:39 PM
Hi, it’s me, the guy from the Cracker Barrel logo. If you’re confused as to why removing me and my barrel from the logo is being viewed as “woke” it’s because that barrel is where I stored all of the little slips of paper I would write the n-word on! Enjoy your eggs!
If we were a real country all of the people on that Jubilee show would’ve been ambushed outside the studio and beaten with baseball bats for openly supporting fascism
July 22, 2025 at 3:47 AM
If we were a real country all of the people on that Jubilee show would’ve been ambushed outside the studio and beaten with baseball bats for openly supporting fascism
I’m at a nominally Jewish wedding and the way the dance floor just cleared for Cotton Eyed Joe, except for a dozen former Bar Mitzvah boys in their 20’s/30’s doing the dance perfectly, was like a painting
June 22, 2025 at 5:37 AM
I’m at a nominally Jewish wedding and the way the dance floor just cleared for Cotton Eyed Joe, except for a dozen former Bar Mitzvah boys in their 20’s/30’s doing the dance perfectly, was like a painting
Trump signing all of his oafish, incendiary bullshit posts with “thank you for your attention to this matter” is some of the most beta middle-manager garbage ever
April 16, 2025 at 7:30 PM
Trump signing all of his oafish, incendiary bullshit posts with “thank you for your attention to this matter” is some of the most beta middle-manager garbage ever
Once these Let Billions Suffer voters see how gruesome letting billions suffer gets they will surely come crawling back to the Let Millions Suffer party and we’ll finally be able to win elections without catering to those troublesome Nobody Should Suffer radicals
March 12, 2025 at 11:01 PM
Once these Let Billions Suffer voters see how gruesome letting billions suffer gets they will surely come crawling back to the Let Millions Suffer party and we’ll finally be able to win elections without catering to those troublesome Nobody Should Suffer radicals
The reply email inbox for this “what did you do last week” email is HR@opm.gov, so, you know, definitely don’t send them any unrelated messages that would interfere with their ability to carry out Elon’s dumbass bullshit
Honestly? Good riddance. Social media is poison and we should never have known this much about each other. I want to know EXACTLY 150 people no more no less
January 19, 2025 at 7:23 AM
Honestly? Good riddance. Social media is poison and we should never have known this much about each other. I want to know EXACTLY 150 people no more no less