@ciencia-incierta.bsky.social
It's amazing how long it took to make social media that tunes out everything but my friends.
I'm not too proud to say I laughed.
November 11, 2025 at 6:00 PM
I'm not too proud to say I laughed.
@augustjpollak.bsky.social made this so long ago, and I've posted it so many times since then.
November 4, 2025 at 2:45 AM
@augustjpollak.bsky.social made this so long ago, and I've posted it so many times since then.
Tonight we're grilling like it's 1985!
September 29, 2025 at 10:00 PM
Tonight we're grilling like it's 1985!
Famished, I alight in a local tavern, seeking nourishment and a moment's respite from these shocking scenes. The staff continually accost me, asking in suspicious accents if there is "anything" they can "do for me."
A military-aged male sits nearby with a stroller, but no child in sight.
I flee.
A military-aged male sits nearby with a stroller, but no child in sight.
I flee.
August 15, 2025 at 12:04 AM
Famished, I alight in a local tavern, seeking nourishment and a moment's respite from these shocking scenes. The staff continually accost me, asking in suspicious accents if there is "anything" they can "do for me."
A military-aged male sits nearby with a stroller, but no child in sight.
I flee.
A military-aged male sits nearby with a stroller, but no child in sight.
I flee.
The image of the vaunted Founding Fathers is sinfully exploited, not merely advertising but CELEBRATING drug abuse. A clear sign the locals choose to dull their minds in any desperate effort to escape these hellish environs.
August 14, 2025 at 11:50 PM
The image of the vaunted Founding Fathers is sinfully exploited, not merely advertising but CELEBRATING drug abuse. A clear sign the locals choose to dull their minds in any desperate effort to escape these hellish environs.
Incredible! A local business offers classes with the express purpose of teaching the populace to rob banks. Is there no end to the depravity?
August 14, 2025 at 11:46 PM
Incredible! A local business offers classes with the express purpose of teaching the populace to rob banks. Is there no end to the depravity?
No sooner do I depart the square than these two hooligans operate motorized vehicles on the sidewalk. Moments later a man yells at a young woman across the street, ostensibly to draw her attention to the badge she dropped on the sidewalk. Words of thanks cannot hide her distress at this disturbance.
August 14, 2025 at 11:43 PM
No sooner do I depart the square than these two hooligans operate motorized vehicles on the sidewalk. Moments later a man yells at a young woman across the street, ostensibly to draw her attention to the badge she dropped on the sidewalk. Words of thanks cannot hide her distress at this disturbance.
Addendum: a daring choice to sell these deadly weapons not a stone's throw from a statuary glorifying bloodshed. Has no one considered the safety of the brave peace officers in this community?
August 14, 2025 at 11:35 PM
Addendum: a daring choice to sell these deadly weapons not a stone's throw from a statuary glorifying bloodshed. Has no one considered the safety of the brave peace officers in this community?
It seems that on every street corner, there are statues honoring soldiers and other heroes of past wars. With monuments to militants littering their community, surrounded by faux artillery, an explanation for the barbarity of the locals begins to come into focus.
August 14, 2025 at 11:33 PM
It seems that on every street corner, there are statues honoring soldiers and other heroes of past wars. With monuments to militants littering their community, surrounded by faux artillery, an explanation for the barbarity of the locals begins to come into focus.
Reporting now from Farragut Square. The local tribesmen operate quaint vehicles as informal taxis, likely the final attempt at an honest living before the inevitable descent into crime. One wonders if seating children in this squalid vehicle shows a father's overconfidence or simple desperation.
August 14, 2025 at 11:27 PM
Reporting now from Farragut Square. The local tribesmen operate quaint vehicles as informal taxis, likely the final attempt at an honest living before the inevitable descent into crime. One wonders if seating children in this squalid vehicle shows a father's overconfidence or simple desperation.
Attempting to flee these terrible environs, where a man may see as many as three bottomless margarita happy hours in a row, I am detained at a checkpoint. The guard force insists payment for my writ of safe passage was insufficient and demands further monies. With no choice, I accede to his demands.
August 14, 2025 at 11:01 PM
Attempting to flee these terrible environs, where a man may see as many as three bottomless margarita happy hours in a row, I am detained at a checkpoint. The guard force insists payment for my writ of safe passage was insufficient and demands further monies. With no choice, I accede to his demands.
A local shaman pleads with the populace to reject their criminal ways. Anything to save just one soul. Her entreaties fall on deaf but fashionable ears.
August 14, 2025 at 10:41 PM
A local shaman pleads with the populace to reject their criminal ways. Anything to save just one soul. Her entreaties fall on deaf but fashionable ears.
Update: almost against my will, I must admit a lavender iced matcha is quite delicious. Is this delectable poison affecting the hearts and minds of the local population? Does this explain the natives' predilection for crime?
August 14, 2025 at 10:31 PM
Update: almost against my will, I must admit a lavender iced matcha is quite delicious. Is this delectable poison affecting the hearts and minds of the local population? Does this explain the natives' predilection for crime?
As I entered this local eatery, a watchful server took immediate note of my presence. She recommended a lavender iced matcha latte and offered it "to go." Her attempt to both poison and shoo me from the premises raised questions about the establishment. Undeterred, watchful, I posted up at the bar.
August 14, 2025 at 10:28 PM
As I entered this local eatery, a watchful server took immediate note of my presence. She recommended a lavender iced matcha latte and offered it "to go." Her attempt to both poison and shoo me from the premises raised questions about the establishment. Undeterred, watchful, I posted up at the bar.
Multiple units of the federal security forces reported swiftly to a call for help at the Vineyard Vines on Wisconsin Ave. Sources tell me a customer entered without a seersucker suit.
August 14, 2025 at 10:18 PM
Multiple units of the federal security forces reported swiftly to a call for help at the Vineyard Vines on Wisconsin Ave. Sources tell me a customer entered without a seersucker suit.
Sainthood does require martyrdom.
August 8, 2025 at 12:06 AM
Sainthood does require martyrdom.
Wikipedia says (for now):
July 30, 2025 at 1:38 AM
Wikipedia says (for now):
I can't claim credit, but I had to save this moment of Wiki vandalism for the ages.
July 30, 2025 at 1:35 AM
I can't claim credit, but I had to save this moment of Wiki vandalism for the ages.
With a thousand apologies for the night you're gonna have afterward -- this one shreds.
July 27, 2025 at 12:06 AM
With a thousand apologies for the night you're gonna have afterward -- this one shreds.
Sounds about right for 80s kids' movies!
July 9, 2025 at 4:29 PM
Sounds about right for 80s kids' movies!
I know there's an unprecedented presidential push to break down the boundaries between domestic law enforcement and military operations, but a few of you know why THIS is the real injustice today:
June 10, 2025 at 12:59 AM
I know there's an unprecedented presidential push to break down the boundaries between domestic law enforcement and military operations, but a few of you know why THIS is the real injustice today:
"You keep using that parable. I do not think it means what you think it means.
And also it's from Luke."
And also it's from Luke."
May 6, 2025 at 10:08 PM
"You keep using that parable. I do not think it means what you think it means.
And also it's from Luke."
And also it's from Luke."
Me, looking at the huge puddles of pollen water by the side of the road today:
"SLIME! IT'S A RIVER OF SLIME!"
"SLIME! IT'S A RIVER OF SLIME!"
April 11, 2025 at 6:30 PM
Me, looking at the huge puddles of pollen water by the side of the road today:
"SLIME! IT'S A RIVER OF SLIME!"
"SLIME! IT'S A RIVER OF SLIME!"