The last Chuck-E-cheese
@chuckeplease.bsky.social
Now with 74% less asbestos
The lawsuits couldnt keep us down
The lawsuits couldnt keep us down
In retrospect, there were better ways for us to encourage Andre's taxidermy hobby. The animatronic band will be back as soon as we can get rid of, as one guest put it, "these abominations to God"
November 5, 2025 at 10:41 PM
In retrospect, there were better ways for us to encourage Andre's taxidermy hobby. The animatronic band will be back as soon as we can get rid of, as one guest put it, "these abominations to God"
Word on the street is the rich twins are back from the Hamptons. We know their parents can afford the Ritz, so why do they keep coming here? Last time, they hucked beans at Todd until he cried. Bet they're too rich to know that beans are a type of food.
November 5, 2025 at 7:53 PM
Word on the street is the rich twins are back from the Hamptons. We know their parents can afford the Ritz, so why do they keep coming here? Last time, they hucked beans at Todd until he cried. Bet they're too rich to know that beans are a type of food.
You think getting a sandwich thrown at you is bad? Todd had a family size frozen pizza thrown at him like a Frisbee by a kid who had all the strength that fun dip can give. He could have died.
November 4, 2025 at 7:04 PM
You think getting a sandwich thrown at you is bad? Todd had a family size frozen pizza thrown at him like a Frisbee by a kid who had all the strength that fun dip can give. He could have died.
It was a close one, but we're pleased to announce that we've officially outlived Dick Cheney
November 4, 2025 at 5:07 PM
It was a close one, but we're pleased to announce that we've officially outlived Dick Cheney
Reposted by The last Chuck-E-cheese
We're having a bit of a brown recluse infestation at the moment. Trick or treaters welcome but not encouraged
October 31, 2025 at 1:52 PM
We're having a bit of a brown recluse infestation at the moment. Trick or treaters welcome but not encouraged
We're having a bit of a brown recluse infestation at the moment. Trick or treaters welcome but not encouraged
October 31, 2025 at 1:52 PM
We're having a bit of a brown recluse infestation at the moment. Trick or treaters welcome but not encouraged
If ICE wants to raid our restaurant, we got exposed nails and a flooded parking lot that says "no"
Also, Suzanne open carries
Also, Suzanne open carries
October 29, 2025 at 6:19 PM
If ICE wants to raid our restaurant, we got exposed nails and a flooded parking lot that says "no"
Also, Suzanne open carries
Also, Suzanne open carries
We can't prove it, but we know our former associate Claire is (allegedly) to blame for the number of people who bring cats to the restaurant as a prank. For obvious reasons, this is a hazard to our establishment and brand.
Because they shit everywhere
Because they shit everywhere
October 29, 2025 at 4:00 PM
We can't prove it, but we know our former associate Claire is (allegedly) to blame for the number of people who bring cats to the restaurant as a prank. For obvious reasons, this is a hazard to our establishment and brand.
Because they shit everywhere
Because they shit everywhere
Chuck-E-cheese
where a kid can kill a kid
where a kid can kill a kid
October 29, 2025 at 1:00 PM
Chuck-E-cheese
where a kid can kill a kid
where a kid can kill a kid
We are pleased to announce that we have fully integrated genAI into all aspects of our restaurant. There are still some bugs to work out but the toilet barely tells you to kill yourself so we're counting this as a win
October 26, 2025 at 1:55 PM
We are pleased to announce that we have fully integrated genAI into all aspects of our restaurant. There are still some bugs to work out but the toilet barely tells you to kill yourself so we're counting this as a win
Due to the hilarious albeit letigious April's fool incident of 2025, the police union has informed us that patrols will no longer service our area as we have been deemed a "hazard". Libertarians are still not welcome, though
October 26, 2025 at 1:49 PM
Due to the hilarious albeit letigious April's fool incident of 2025, the police union has informed us that patrols will no longer service our area as we have been deemed a "hazard". Libertarians are still not welcome, though
If nothing else, come to Chuck-E-cheese for the nostalgia. We heard there's even a guy who sells angel dust in the parking lot
October 24, 2025 at 7:59 PM
If nothing else, come to Chuck-E-cheese for the nostalgia. We heard there's even a guy who sells angel dust in the parking lot
Please do not contact the health department. Those are just members of Chuck's family who have come to visit him for the weekend! Please do not contact the health department
October 24, 2025 at 12:49 PM
Please do not contact the health department. Those are just members of Chuck's family who have come to visit him for the weekend! Please do not contact the health department
Reposted by The last Chuck-E-cheese
Ok, we can't believe we have to make a statement about this, but the booger wall behind table 14 is not an official Chuck-E-cheese attraction, and anyone caught contributing to it will be banned
October 22, 2025 at 10:02 PM
Ok, we can't believe we have to make a statement about this, but the booger wall behind table 14 is not an official Chuck-E-cheese attraction, and anyone caught contributing to it will be banned
The Michelin guide describes our pizza's texture as "distressing"
October 23, 2025 at 1:19 PM
The Michelin guide describes our pizza's texture as "distressing"
Ok, we can't believe we have to make a statement about this, but the booger wall behind table 14 is not an official Chuck-E-cheese attraction, and anyone caught contributing to it will be banned
October 22, 2025 at 10:02 PM
Ok, we can't believe we have to make a statement about this, but the booger wall behind table 14 is not an official Chuck-E-cheese attraction, and anyone caught contributing to it will be banned
Stop spreading the hurtful rumor that the mascots are haunted. Only the men's toilet is.
October 22, 2025 at 4:56 PM
Stop spreading the hurtful rumor that the mascots are haunted. Only the men's toilet is.
Yes, we know that rat mascot for a restaurant is kinda insane but you gotta understand how different the coke hit back in the 80's
October 22, 2025 at 2:06 PM
Yes, we know that rat mascot for a restaurant is kinda insane but you gotta understand how different the coke hit back in the 80's
Dont worry. The pizza is actually supposed to taste like that
October 21, 2025 at 11:37 PM
Dont worry. The pizza is actually supposed to taste like that
The Hulk Hogan pinball machine that shouts "hell yeah, brother"every time you score is broken. This is like losing Hulk Hogan a second time, which is actually kind of a rush if we're being honest
October 21, 2025 at 10:44 PM
The Hulk Hogan pinball machine that shouts "hell yeah, brother"every time you score is broken. This is like losing Hulk Hogan a second time, which is actually kind of a rush if we're being honest
None of our staff has problematic tattoos. Except Todd, who got pickle rick tattooed while going through a nasty divorce
October 21, 2025 at 3:52 PM
None of our staff has problematic tattoos. Except Todd, who got pickle rick tattooed while going through a nasty divorce
Due to the McDonald's across town installing a ball pit and a slide and in the spirit of competition, we have decided to let you smoke inside
October 21, 2025 at 2:39 PM
Due to the McDonald's across town installing a ball pit and a slide and in the spirit of competition, we have decided to let you smoke inside
Parents! The Marlboro machine is broken, but you can bum an American spirit off Suzanne for a dollar
October 20, 2025 at 10:02 PM
Parents! The Marlboro machine is broken, but you can bum an American spirit off Suzanne for a dollar
Due to the incident yesterday, and last week, and the week before that, and the week before that, we regret that our $1 Chuckarita promotion is discontinued effective immediately
October 20, 2025 at 5:06 PM
Due to the incident yesterday, and last week, and the week before that, and the week before that, we regret that our $1 Chuckarita promotion is discontinued effective immediately
Our heart goes out to Le Louvre. Someone stole all our toilet paper rolls last month, so we know the feeling
October 20, 2025 at 4:44 PM
Our heart goes out to Le Louvre. Someone stole all our toilet paper rolls last month, so we know the feeling