since i got called out for 'humble bragging' now whenever i tell my friends about something good in my life i make sure to be a huge arrogant shit about it, which is going great, none of them have any idea why i'm suddenly acting like this so they're all super nice to me in case i have a brain tumor

Emmet from the Lego movie was actually kinda autistic now that I think about it

Newest U.S. Aid Mission Just Single PowerBar Labeled ‘For Gaza’ Thrown Into Ocean
theonion.com/newest-u-s-a...

They need to invent procrastination where you don't have to deal with its consequences later