the bareback contessa (festive edition)
@capitaloftexas.bsky.social
austin. he/him. 30-something texan transplanted to minnesota. professional musician and even more professional faggot. 🏳️🌈
all other socials: carillonghorn
(this account is very nsfw so you know me in real life… look away)
all other socials: carillonghorn
(this account is very nsfw so you know me in real life… look away)
i don’t know why it took me eight christmases at this job to decorate up in the bell tower
but i did and it’s so festive, mariah whomst?
but i did and it’s so festive, mariah whomst?
December 3, 2025 at 6:29 PM
i don’t know why it took me eight christmases at this job to decorate up in the bell tower
but i did and it’s so festive, mariah whomst?
but i did and it’s so festive, mariah whomst?
this hump day brought to you by my electric blanket that made it reeeeeeally hard to get out of bed this morning
December 3, 2025 at 4:34 PM
this hump day brought to you by my electric blanket that made it reeeeeeally hard to get out of bed this morning
well i never
December 2, 2025 at 2:51 AM
well i never
you’ve got me blushing on the bus, thanks 😳
December 1, 2025 at 11:40 PM
you’ve got me blushing on the bus, thanks 😳
let’s start an over 30 selfie thread ✨
32 👵🏻
32 👵🏻
December 1, 2025 at 10:06 PM
let’s start an over 30 selfie thread ✨
32 👵🏻
32 👵🏻
post an old dick pic!
first one i ever took (i think) circa 2012
first one i ever took (i think) circa 2012
December 1, 2025 at 9:52 PM
post an old dick pic!
first one i ever took (i think) circa 2012
first one i ever took (i think) circa 2012
doing thanksgiving dinner tonight so it’s time to break out The Good China™️
this set only gets used for thanksgiving or if i’m cooking dinner for a date 😂
this set only gets used for thanksgiving or if i’m cooking dinner for a date 😂
November 27, 2025 at 2:20 AM
doing thanksgiving dinner tonight so it’s time to break out The Good China™️
this set only gets used for thanksgiving or if i’m cooking dinner for a date 😂
this set only gets used for thanksgiving or if i’m cooking dinner for a date 😂
oooooh my god. stealing that cactus quote 😭
my fav one i’ve ever done lmao (i fucked up the dot over the i and it’s haunted me ever since)
my fav one i’ve ever done lmao (i fucked up the dot over the i and it’s haunted me ever since)
November 25, 2025 at 9:30 PM
oooooh my god. stealing that cactus quote 😭
my fav one i’ve ever done lmao (i fucked up the dot over the i and it’s haunted me ever since)
my fav one i’ve ever done lmao (i fucked up the dot over the i and it’s haunted me ever since)
lollllll y’all remember the gay porn actor i mentioned a while back that was soft-launching maga? he posted this on facebook this morning… 🌚
November 25, 2025 at 1:12 PM
lollllll y’all remember the gay porn actor i mentioned a while back that was soft-launching maga? he posted this on facebook this morning… 🌚
Baby, take me to the feelin'
I'll be your sinner in secret
When the lights go out
Run away with me, run away with me
Baby, every single minute
I'll be your hero and win it
When the lights go out
Run away with me, run away with me
I'll be your sinner in secret
When the lights go out
Run away with me, run away with me
Baby, every single minute
I'll be your hero and win it
When the lights go out
Run away with me, run away with me
November 23, 2025 at 3:41 AM
Baby, take me to the feelin'
I'll be your sinner in secret
When the lights go out
Run away with me, run away with me
Baby, every single minute
I'll be your hero and win it
When the lights go out
Run away with me, run away with me
I'll be your sinner in secret
When the lights go out
Run away with me, run away with me
Baby, every single minute
I'll be your hero and win it
When the lights go out
Run away with me, run away with me
did it my sophomore year of high school. i was general howell 🤵🏼♂️
(how we got away with doing something so raunchy i’ll never know)
(how we got away with doing something so raunchy i’ll never know)
November 22, 2025 at 9:49 PM
did it my sophomore year of high school. i was general howell 🤵🏼♂️
(how we got away with doing something so raunchy i’ll never know)
(how we got away with doing something so raunchy i’ll never know)
four christmas movies to know me by
November 21, 2025 at 2:47 AM
four christmas movies to know me by
post a skipless album
November 20, 2025 at 5:21 PM
post a skipless album
eye thread, “when will my husband return from war” edition
November 20, 2025 at 4:03 PM
eye thread, “when will my husband return from war” edition
laying in bed and i see an aunt posting on facebook about how The Democrats™️ are trying to go after the tangerine traitor just bc they’re anti-american and hate him for how great he is for the country, etc
(this is also the same “christian” woman that told her daughter-in-law empathy is a sin 🤗)
(this is also the same “christian” woman that told her daughter-in-law empathy is a sin 🤗)
November 20, 2025 at 2:42 AM
laying in bed and i see an aunt posting on facebook about how The Democrats™️ are trying to go after the tangerine traitor just bc they’re anti-american and hate him for how great he is for the country, etc
(this is also the same “christian” woman that told her daughter-in-law empathy is a sin 🤗)
(this is also the same “christian” woman that told her daughter-in-law empathy is a sin 🤗)
😶
November 19, 2025 at 12:28 AM
😶
happy #monochrome monday bloomfies, ily 🥰
November 17, 2025 at 10:08 PM
happy #monochrome monday bloomfies, ily 🥰
please quote post a picture where you were completely happy, and nothing else mattered but that moment.
November 17, 2025 at 2:31 AM
please quote post a picture where you were completely happy, and nothing else mattered but that moment.