Candice
@candimonium.bsky.social
📚 Bookworm
👸🏻 Feminist
💙 Blue dot in a red state
☕️ Over-caffeinated (but somehow still always exhausted?!?)
👠 Shoe enthusiast
🍞 Glutton for gluten
👏🏼 Emoji over-user
👸🏻 Feminist
💙 Blue dot in a red state
☕️ Over-caffeinated (but somehow still always exhausted?!?)
👠 Shoe enthusiast
🍞 Glutton for gluten
👏🏼 Emoji over-user
Pinned
Candice
@candimonium.bsky.social
· May 21
Trump for the second time during this press conference claims that Biden has "stage nine" cancer (he has stage four cancer)
Me, at 2 AM: I can’t believe I snort-laughed during small talk with the cashier at Ulta 3 months ago. Sooo embarrassing! 😭
Trump:
Trump:
Kudos to Target for coming in clutch with a house millennials can actually afford
December 22, 2025 at 3:28 PM
Kudos to Target for coming in clutch with a house millennials can actually afford
Trying to find a birthday party venue for my soon-to-be 7 y/o. Cheeky Monkeys suuuuuure thinks a lot of themselves to list a starting price of $800 for a 2-hour, themed b-day party. I literally laughed out loud when I saw this. Who tf is buying this? www.cheekymonkeys.us/parties/them...
September 13, 2025 at 10:08 PM
Trying to find a birthday party venue for my soon-to-be 7 y/o. Cheeky Monkeys suuuuuure thinks a lot of themselves to list a starting price of $800 for a 2-hour, themed b-day party. I literally laughed out loud when I saw this. Who tf is buying this? www.cheekymonkeys.us/parties/them...
Reposted by Candice
Like honestly why are we ever wearing anything besides jeans and a big sweatshirt
September 13, 2025 at 4:27 PM
Like honestly why are we ever wearing anything besides jeans and a big sweatshirt
Hidden Brain is my favorite podcast, and I could recommend dozens of episodes that I think are absolute gold. But in today’s climate, I feel it’s particularly important to listen to this one.
open.spotify.com/episode/52SM...
open.spotify.com/episode/52SM...
Innovation 2.0: The Influence You Have
open.spotify.com
September 13, 2025 at 5:12 PM
Hidden Brain is my favorite podcast, and I could recommend dozens of episodes that I think are absolute gold. But in today’s climate, I feel it’s particularly important to listen to this one.
open.spotify.com/episode/52SM...
open.spotify.com/episode/52SM...
I’ve been using em dashes for YEARS (Apple devices autocorrect double hyphens to “—“) and suddenly have to worry about being mistaken for AI just because I have a better-than-average grasp on punctuation?
If this were a TV show, I’d say we’ve jumped the shark.
If this were a TV show, I’d say we’ve jumped the shark.
August 2, 2025 at 3:14 PM
I’ve been using em dashes for YEARS (Apple devices autocorrect double hyphens to “—“) and suddenly have to worry about being mistaken for AI just because I have a better-than-average grasp on punctuation?
If this were a TV show, I’d say we’ve jumped the shark.
If this were a TV show, I’d say we’ve jumped the shark.
Will be referring to myself (v. caucasian + grew up as a bit of a hillbilly) as a "sensitive gangster" from now on. Thanks in advance for your support during this transition. www.popsugar.com/health/amaya...
There's Nothing Wrong With Being a "Sensitive Gangster"
"Love Island" USA's Amaya Espinal was shamed during the show for being too emotional. In reality, she's a sensitive gangster, and so am I.
www.popsugar.com
July 14, 2025 at 10:55 PM
Will be referring to myself (v. caucasian + grew up as a bit of a hillbilly) as a "sensitive gangster" from now on. Thanks in advance for your support during this transition. www.popsugar.com/health/amaya...
Reposted by Candice
Me, at 2 AM: I can’t believe I snort-laughed during small talk with the cashier at Ulta 3 months ago. Sooo embarrassing! 😭
Trump:
Trump:
Trump for the second time during this press conference claims that Biden has "stage nine" cancer (he has stage four cancer)
May 21, 2025 at 10:42 AM
Me, at 2 AM: I can’t believe I snort-laughed during small talk with the cashier at Ulta 3 months ago. Sooo embarrassing! 😭
Trump:
Trump:
I’m over here cringing at something slightly awkward I said during small talk with a parent at my kids’ school.
Meanwhile, prez Cheeto is out there making inaccurate, asinine announcements to the entire nation without a care in the world
What’s his Xanax dosage? Clearly, it’s working for him 😑
Meanwhile, prez Cheeto is out there making inaccurate, asinine announcements to the entire nation without a care in the world
What’s his Xanax dosage? Clearly, it’s working for him 😑
Trump for the second time during this press conference claims that Biden has "stage nine" cancer (he has stage four cancer)
May 21, 2025 at 10:33 AM
I’m over here cringing at something slightly awkward I said during small talk with a parent at my kids’ school.
Meanwhile, prez Cheeto is out there making inaccurate, asinine announcements to the entire nation without a care in the world
What’s his Xanax dosage? Clearly, it’s working for him 😑
Meanwhile, prez Cheeto is out there making inaccurate, asinine announcements to the entire nation without a care in the world
What’s his Xanax dosage? Clearly, it’s working for him 😑
I have ~2k books on my TBR list + own probably just as many Kindle & physical books that I have yet to read.
But will I ever scroll past a FB “book purge” post without taking a closer look at the offered titles?
Absolutely not.
But will I ever scroll past a FB “book purge” post without taking a closer look at the offered titles?
Absolutely not.
May 11, 2025 at 1:37 PM
I have ~2k books on my TBR list + own probably just as many Kindle & physical books that I have yet to read.
But will I ever scroll past a FB “book purge” post without taking a closer look at the offered titles?
Absolutely not.
But will I ever scroll past a FB “book purge” post without taking a closer look at the offered titles?
Absolutely not.
Any doubts as to my heritage are erased when I return from a Caribbean vacation more pale than I was when I arrived (thanks, spray tan).
May 5, 2025 at 4:51 PM
Any doubts as to my heritage are erased when I return from a Caribbean vacation more pale than I was when I arrived (thanks, spray tan).
The last time I watched Finding Nemo (and really paid attention) was when it was first released. I remembered the most popular quotes and funny scenes but not much else.
I’m watching it now with my kids, though, and the first several scenes are giving me SUCH intense anxiety. Poor Marlin 🥺
I’m watching it now with my kids, though, and the first several scenes are giving me SUCH intense anxiety. Poor Marlin 🥺
April 19, 2025 at 1:37 PM
The last time I watched Finding Nemo (and really paid attention) was when it was first released. I remembered the most popular quotes and funny scenes but not much else.
I’m watching it now with my kids, though, and the first several scenes are giving me SUCH intense anxiety. Poor Marlin 🥺
I’m watching it now with my kids, though, and the first several scenes are giving me SUCH intense anxiety. Poor Marlin 🥺
In THIS economy?! Why are we doing this to ourselves?! 😫https://www.popsugar.com/travel/hatchelorette-trend-49382270
Why "Hatchelorette" Parties Are Replacing Baby Showers
Hatchelorettes are a unique alternative to the traditional baby shower. Here's why expectant moms are opting for the more relaxing, travel-focused option.
www.popsugar.com
March 19, 2025 at 12:37 PM
In THIS economy?! Why are we doing this to ourselves?! 😫https://www.popsugar.com/travel/hatchelorette-trend-49382270
Casey Anthony declaring that she’s “been in the legal field since 2011” is the amount of delusional confidence I aspire to have.
March 11, 2025 at 2:00 AM
Casey Anthony declaring that she’s “been in the legal field since 2011” is the amount of delusional confidence I aspire to have.
Reposted by Candice
Yasss. My time has come. I’ve been training for this for the past 12 years.
www.marieclaire.com/beauty/dark-...
www.marieclaire.com/beauty/dark-...
Our Exhaustion Is Showing and We've Never Looked Better
According to the runways, concealer is out and dark circles are in.
www.marieclaire.com
February 16, 2025 at 11:55 PM
Yasss. My time has come. I’ve been training for this for the past 12 years.
www.marieclaire.com/beauty/dark-...
www.marieclaire.com/beauty/dark-...
Reposted by Candice
cannot be said enough that for a decade a critical number of americans have simply refused to accept that he means what he says
I hold a lot of disdain for the people who didn’t see this coming given P2025 but it does seem like the actual support for these goals is nonexistent, everyone who voted for him did so under the incredibly stupid assumption that he wouldn’t do this
February 2, 2025 at 1:44 AM
cannot be said enough that for a decade a critical number of americans have simply refused to accept that he means what he says
I mean… duh??? How many teachers have to repeat this before the GenPop decides to listen? 🙄
www.axios.com/2025/01/29/n...
www.axios.com/2025/01/29/n...
February 2, 2025 at 4:40 PM
I mean… duh??? How many teachers have to repeat this before the GenPop decides to listen? 🙄
www.axios.com/2025/01/29/n...
www.axios.com/2025/01/29/n...
Reposted by Candice
A party bus but it picks you and your friends up after a long week and just goes coffee shop, bookstore, ice cream parlor, thrift shop, short nap, bakery, a different bookstore, museum, cocktail bar on a loop until you feel better
February 2, 2025 at 2:54 PM
A party bus but it picks you and your friends up after a long week and just goes coffee shop, bookstore, ice cream parlor, thrift shop, short nap, bakery, a different bookstore, museum, cocktail bar on a loop until you feel better
How miserable does one’s life have to be in order to prompt one to say something like this? www.usatoday.com/story/news/p...
Republican suggests students work at McDonald's instead of getting free school lunches
Georgia Rep. Rich McCormick suggested during a CNN interview that kids get jobs, including at fast food restaurants, to pay for school lunches.
www.usatoday.com
February 2, 2025 at 4:37 PM
How miserable does one’s life have to be in order to prompt one to say something like this? www.usatoday.com/story/news/p...
My kid just told me that I say the same things as Bluey’s parents. 🤩 I’m now eagerly awaiting the arrival of my Parent of the Year award.
a woman wearing a denim jacket is making a funny face with #schitts creek written on the bottom
ALT: a woman wearing a denim jacket is making a funny face with #schitts creek written on the bottom
media.tenor.com
December 30, 2024 at 7:24 PM
My kid just told me that I say the same things as Bluey’s parents. 🤩 I’m now eagerly awaiting the arrival of my Parent of the Year award.
Never would’ve predicted that my love of mysteries and logic puzzles would come in handy when deciphering words my kids misunderstood but try to use in conversation.
December 10, 2024 at 1:26 PM
Never would’ve predicted that my love of mysteries and logic puzzles would come in handy when deciphering words my kids misunderstood but try to use in conversation.
Reposted by Candice
Inside me are two wolves: one is super proud I didn't buy any snacks at the grocery store and the other is absolutely FURIOUS that I didn't buy m any snacks at the grocery store
November 20, 2024 at 9:05 PM
Inside me are two wolves: one is super proud I didn't buy any snacks at the grocery store and the other is absolutely FURIOUS that I didn't buy m any snacks at the grocery store