Aisha
@caloolife.bsky.social
British/Indian/Burmese/Irish/Zimbabwean - coloniser and colonised in one person. Life is tricky, overwhelming, joyful, anxiety inducing, incredible and messy. For all of that, I teach and coach self-compassion because it helps me.
"Facing our sh*t absolutely requires mad self-compassion & self-acceptance skills."
No consequence of facing our sh*t will kick our ass as thoroughly as avoiding our sh*t every day, all day.
That said: facing our sh*t absolutely requires mad self-compassion & self-acceptance skills.
We don't "have" to raw dog our sh*t any more than we "have" to avoid it.
That said: facing our sh*t absolutely requires mad self-compassion & self-acceptance skills.
We don't "have" to raw dog our sh*t any more than we "have" to avoid it.
August 13, 2025 at 4:36 PM
"Facing our sh*t absolutely requires mad self-compassion & self-acceptance skills."
Clients often ask me if they should tell me their trauma in their first session. And my answer is, "No. Not until I have taught you the skills to take care of yourself. Because I can give you all the compassion during the hour but then you will need support after the session."
July 29, 2025 at 9:51 AM
Clients often ask me if they should tell me their trauma in their first session. And my answer is, "No. Not until I have taught you the skills to take care of yourself. Because I can give you all the compassion during the hour but then you will need support after the session."
I spent Sunday morning, rolling down a tiny hill with a highly active 5yr old and then sneaking up on their Mum (in public in the huge garden of a stately home).
If you hire me, I think it is important you know what kind of person I am.
If you hire me, I think it is important you know what kind of person I am.
July 28, 2025 at 11:06 AM
I spent Sunday morning, rolling down a tiny hill with a highly active 5yr old and then sneaking up on their Mum (in public in the huge garden of a stately home).
If you hire me, I think it is important you know what kind of person I am.
If you hire me, I think it is important you know what kind of person I am.
An aspect of Self-compassion is recognising that you are not alone in your struggles and emotions.
This is the power of Superman, well, his dog Krypto - I am not the only one with an adorable PITA dog.
Kidding aside, owning a difficult dog can feel and be isolating.
This is the power of Superman, well, his dog Krypto - I am not the only one with an adorable PITA dog.
Kidding aside, owning a difficult dog can feel and be isolating.
July 20, 2025 at 1:53 PM
An aspect of Self-compassion is recognising that you are not alone in your struggles and emotions.
This is the power of Superman, well, his dog Krypto - I am not the only one with an adorable PITA dog.
Kidding aside, owning a difficult dog can feel and be isolating.
This is the power of Superman, well, his dog Krypto - I am not the only one with an adorable PITA dog.
Kidding aside, owning a difficult dog can feel and be isolating.
Some people tie their identity to history and ancestry.
But what happens when that history turns out to be a lie or simply incorrect?
That new history becomes a threat to identity. Triggering a survival response.
Self-compassion helps to calm the nervous system, to respond with real curiosity.
But what happens when that history turns out to be a lie or simply incorrect?
That new history becomes a threat to identity. Triggering a survival response.
Self-compassion helps to calm the nervous system, to respond with real curiosity.
July 16, 2025 at 5:27 PM
Some people tie their identity to history and ancestry.
But what happens when that history turns out to be a lie or simply incorrect?
That new history becomes a threat to identity. Triggering a survival response.
Self-compassion helps to calm the nervous system, to respond with real curiosity.
But what happens when that history turns out to be a lie or simply incorrect?
That new history becomes a threat to identity. Triggering a survival response.
Self-compassion helps to calm the nervous system, to respond with real curiosity.
commenters seem to not know that compassion can be fierce, it can be protective, it can be assertive.
The definition of compassion is to have empathy for self or others and be moved to alleviate or prevent suffering.
The definition of compassion is to have empathy for self or others and be moved to alleviate or prevent suffering.
It’s not anger, not outrage, not war, but the quiet strength of love and compassion that will ultimately win the day!
July 9, 2025 at 10:45 PM
commenters seem to not know that compassion can be fierce, it can be protective, it can be assertive.
The definition of compassion is to have empathy for self or others and be moved to alleviate or prevent suffering.
The definition of compassion is to have empathy for self or others and be moved to alleviate or prevent suffering.
Reposted by Aisha
I sometimes think I’m wise, but then remember I don’t fully understand anyone or anything and the illusion fades.
November 24, 2024 at 7:49 PM
I sometimes think I’m wise, but then remember I don’t fully understand anyone or anything and the illusion fades.
Reposted by Aisha
Showing ourselves compassion doesn't invalidate our desire, commitment, or motivation to do better-- it enhances it.
Enormously.
Enormously.
June 29, 2025 at 2:45 PM
Showing ourselves compassion doesn't invalidate our desire, commitment, or motivation to do better-- it enhances it.
Enormously.
Enormously.
We are more likely to take responsibility for errors or bad behaviour if we practice self-compassion for any shame we feel.
Shame is not necessary for responsibility taking.
In fact, shame gets in the way.
Shame is not necessary for responsibility taking.
In fact, shame gets in the way.
June 25, 2025 at 9:39 AM
We are more likely to take responsibility for errors or bad behaviour if we practice self-compassion for any shame we feel.
Shame is not necessary for responsibility taking.
In fact, shame gets in the way.
Shame is not necessary for responsibility taking.
In fact, shame gets in the way.
There is a huge difference between Empathy, Pity and Opinion.
In political discussions some people are mixing them up together.
Cognitive empathy - the ability to fully understand why someone is behaving the way they do.
Emotional Empathy - when you feel the same emotions when you understand.
In political discussions some people are mixing them up together.
Cognitive empathy - the ability to fully understand why someone is behaving the way they do.
Emotional Empathy - when you feel the same emotions when you understand.
June 24, 2025 at 10:57 AM
There is a huge difference between Empathy, Pity and Opinion.
In political discussions some people are mixing them up together.
Cognitive empathy - the ability to fully understand why someone is behaving the way they do.
Emotional Empathy - when you feel the same emotions when you understand.
In political discussions some people are mixing them up together.
Cognitive empathy - the ability to fully understand why someone is behaving the way they do.
Emotional Empathy - when you feel the same emotions when you understand.
Has anyone ever made you feel like you are the bad guy?
Did you practice self-compassion?
Or did you beat yourself up, avoid the thought, get angry at the other person, or overapologise?
Do you know, if you practice self-compassion that you are more likely to take appropriate responsibility?
Did you practice self-compassion?
Or did you beat yourself up, avoid the thought, get angry at the other person, or overapologise?
Do you know, if you practice self-compassion that you are more likely to take appropriate responsibility?
June 22, 2025 at 2:22 PM
Has anyone ever made you feel like you are the bad guy?
Did you practice self-compassion?
Or did you beat yourself up, avoid the thought, get angry at the other person, or overapologise?
Do you know, if you practice self-compassion that you are more likely to take appropriate responsibility?
Did you practice self-compassion?
Or did you beat yourself up, avoid the thought, get angry at the other person, or overapologise?
Do you know, if you practice self-compassion that you are more likely to take appropriate responsibility?
When you start recognising shame, you start seeing it in weird places.
Today, whilst chopping vegetables. Slowly and carefully. The shame voices about how slow I am, ever present like the wind, are quiet.
I notice the peacefulness and lack of name calling.
Who knew cooking can be pleasant?
Today, whilst chopping vegetables. Slowly and carefully. The shame voices about how slow I am, ever present like the wind, are quiet.
I notice the peacefulness and lack of name calling.
Who knew cooking can be pleasant?
June 21, 2025 at 2:28 PM
When you start recognising shame, you start seeing it in weird places.
Today, whilst chopping vegetables. Slowly and carefully. The shame voices about how slow I am, ever present like the wind, are quiet.
I notice the peacefulness and lack of name calling.
Who knew cooking can be pleasant?
Today, whilst chopping vegetables. Slowly and carefully. The shame voices about how slow I am, ever present like the wind, are quiet.
I notice the peacefulness and lack of name calling.
Who knew cooking can be pleasant?
We can take responsibility without having to blame or shame ourselves.
Notice how it feels different in the body.
I find taking responsibility has an energy about it and is solution focused.
Whilst Shame and Blame trigger tightness in the body and breath.
Notice how it feels different in the body.
I find taking responsibility has an energy about it and is solution focused.
Whilst Shame and Blame trigger tightness in the body and breath.
June 18, 2025 at 11:58 AM
We can take responsibility without having to blame or shame ourselves.
Notice how it feels different in the body.
I find taking responsibility has an energy about it and is solution focused.
Whilst Shame and Blame trigger tightness in the body and breath.
Notice how it feels different in the body.
I find taking responsibility has an energy about it and is solution focused.
Whilst Shame and Blame trigger tightness in the body and breath.
I recently noticed I have a mental tic whenever I feel shame. I remember noticing the tic 25 years and thinking it was an odd thought to have in that moment and all subsequent moments.
Now that I know its purpose is to cover feelings of shame, I use it as a flag. I stop and retrace my thoughts.
Now that I know its purpose is to cover feelings of shame, I use it as a flag. I stop and retrace my thoughts.
June 17, 2025 at 9:19 AM
I recently noticed I have a mental tic whenever I feel shame. I remember noticing the tic 25 years and thinking it was an odd thought to have in that moment and all subsequent moments.
Now that I know its purpose is to cover feelings of shame, I use it as a flag. I stop and retrace my thoughts.
Now that I know its purpose is to cover feelings of shame, I use it as a flag. I stop and retrace my thoughts.
I don't think there is enough talk about the risk of violence to young men and the long-term impact of that.
Men have told me about being chased by gangs, young men have told me about only feeling safe in their area.
standagainstviolence.co.uk/advice/facts/
Men have told me about being chased by gangs, young men have told me about only feeling safe in their area.
standagainstviolence.co.uk/advice/facts/
Facts - Stand Against Violence
Domestic Violence One in four women and one in six men will be affected by domestic abuse during their lives. Approximately 10% of children are exposed to domestic violence annually, and 25% of these ...
standagainstviolence.co.uk
June 16, 2025 at 10:07 AM
I don't think there is enough talk about the risk of violence to young men and the long-term impact of that.
Men have told me about being chased by gangs, young men have told me about only feeling safe in their area.
standagainstviolence.co.uk/advice/facts/
Men have told me about being chased by gangs, young men have told me about only feeling safe in their area.
standagainstviolence.co.uk/advice/facts/
Meliorism : the belief that you can make the world a better place.
Compassion: the drive to make the world better.
Compassion: the drive to make the world better.
June 15, 2025 at 12:01 PM
Meliorism : the belief that you can make the world a better place.
Compassion: the drive to make the world better.
Compassion: the drive to make the world better.
Next book:
"In this book, intention is defined as : A deep, sincere desire underpinned by a belief that it is possible."
That belief seems key.
"In this book, intention is defined as : A deep, sincere desire underpinned by a belief that it is possible."
That belief seems key.
June 13, 2025 at 4:34 PM
Next book:
"In this book, intention is defined as : A deep, sincere desire underpinned by a belief that it is possible."
That belief seems key.
"In this book, intention is defined as : A deep, sincere desire underpinned by a belief that it is possible."
That belief seems key.
Reposted by Aisha
Acceptance, empathy, and support, unconditionally. ❤️🩹
#cptsd #recovery #traumahelaing #mentalhealth
#cptsd #recovery #traumahelaing #mentalhealth
June 13, 2025 at 2:30 PM
Acceptance, empathy, and support, unconditionally. ❤️🩹
#cptsd #recovery #traumahelaing #mentalhealth
#cptsd #recovery #traumahelaing #mentalhealth
Following the orders of psychopaths creates PTSD.
It's one of the most difficult types of PTSD to recover from.
It's one of the most difficult types of PTSD to recover from.
June 12, 2025 at 7:57 AM
Following the orders of psychopaths creates PTSD.
It's one of the most difficult types of PTSD to recover from.
It's one of the most difficult types of PTSD to recover from.
Therapy should NOT cause you to lose your anger. It should help you get clear on your anger.
🌻
Greta Thunberg being released...
the internetWorld is gunna explode on this one
c'mon lets make this interview statement Famous!!
Greta Thunberg being released...
the internetWorld is gunna explode on this one
c'mon lets make this interview statement Famous!!
June 11, 2025 at 11:46 AM
Therapy should NOT cause you to lose your anger. It should help you get clear on your anger.
Reposted by Aisha
🌻
Greta Thunberg being released...
the internetWorld is gunna explode on this one
c'mon lets make this interview statement Famous!!
Greta Thunberg being released...
the internetWorld is gunna explode on this one
c'mon lets make this interview statement Famous!!
June 10, 2025 at 8:50 PM
🌻
Greta Thunberg being released...
the internetWorld is gunna explode on this one
c'mon lets make this interview statement Famous!!
Greta Thunberg being released...
the internetWorld is gunna explode on this one
c'mon lets make this interview statement Famous!!
Discovering you have unintentionally hurt someone can be very painful.
Many people want shift the blame or minimise it.
This can cause even more hurt to the other person and distress in your self.
Self-compassion helps people to take responsibility for the harm they have caused and mend.
Many people want shift the blame or minimise it.
This can cause even more hurt to the other person and distress in your self.
Self-compassion helps people to take responsibility for the harm they have caused and mend.
June 9, 2025 at 3:21 PM
Discovering you have unintentionally hurt someone can be very painful.
Many people want shift the blame or minimise it.
This can cause even more hurt to the other person and distress in your self.
Self-compassion helps people to take responsibility for the harm they have caused and mend.
Many people want shift the blame or minimise it.
This can cause even more hurt to the other person and distress in your self.
Self-compassion helps people to take responsibility for the harm they have caused and mend.
The more self-compassionate we are, the easier it is to face up to our mistakes and ... therefore, the fewer mistakes we make in the future.
June 8, 2025 at 4:03 PM
The more self-compassionate we are, the easier it is to face up to our mistakes and ... therefore, the fewer mistakes we make in the future.
Me being interviewed about self-compassion. First time open.spotify.com/episode/1fDx...
Talking about self-compassion
People So Bold · Episode
open.spotify.com
June 4, 2025 at 12:39 PM
Me being interviewed about self-compassion. First time open.spotify.com/episode/1fDx...
A recent study showed that placing your hand on your heart for 20 seconds a day for a month reduced stress in the participants.
But you have to do it every day for a month. One offs don't have significant long term effect. It's the regular practice that's important.
But you have to do it every day for a month. One offs don't have significant long term effect. It's the regular practice that's important.
June 3, 2025 at 7:14 AM
A recent study showed that placing your hand on your heart for 20 seconds a day for a month reduced stress in the participants.
But you have to do it every day for a month. One offs don't have significant long term effect. It's the regular practice that's important.
But you have to do it every day for a month. One offs don't have significant long term effect. It's the regular practice that's important.