Cally Beaton
@callybeaton.bsky.social
⭐️ 2025/26 TOUR ⭐️ + BESTSELLING BOOK ‘Namaste Motherf*ckers’ OUT NOW! 🙏🏻 At 45, Joan Rivers told me to get into stand-up. So I did. She was 81 • Live at the Apollo • QI •
November 18, 2025 at 11:01 AM
On Jeremy Vine this morning, where we managed to (briefly) subvert the legal compliance taping of the swears on my book jacket. Like the Sex Pistols all over again.
November 18, 2025 at 9:18 AM
On Jeremy Vine this morning, where we managed to (briefly) subvert the legal compliance taping of the swears on my book jacket. Like the Sex Pistols all over again.
Whenever I see Jeff curled up in his nest with his pink corduroy unicorn I think we’ve got it all wrong and should all be him.
November 17, 2025 at 6:08 PM
Whenever I see Jeff curled up in his nest with his pink corduroy unicorn I think we’ve got it all wrong and should all be him.
FaceTimed the wonder girl - me in London, her in Madrid - and look! Both supporting the mother brand. Like time we were reading same book and compared on FaceTime where we were. Same chapter. Same page. Same paragraph. 👯♂️
November 16, 2025 at 3:35 PM
FaceTimed the wonder girl - me in London, her in Madrid - and look! Both supporting the mother brand. Like time we were reading same book and compared on FaceTime where we were. Same chapter. Same page. Same paragraph. 👯♂️
Today a friend of mine was round at my place having a cry. Jeff gave her each of his corduroy toys, laying them gently one after another at her feet. She was still crying. But he did a good job. Good dog, Jeff.
November 15, 2025 at 9:21 PM
Today a friend of mine was round at my place having a cry. Jeff gave her each of his corduroy toys, laying them gently one after another at her feet. She was still crying. But he did a good job. Good dog, Jeff.
This is what I came on stage to last night. Life’s alright sometimes, innit.
I’ll be back at in Tunbridge Wells with a second date in 2026: Sat 13th June, 7.30pm. Ticket link now live so grab ‘em while you can! Book signings after all shows ✍️
Tour tickets (all venues):
callybeaton.com/live/
I’ll be back at in Tunbridge Wells with a second date in 2026: Sat 13th June, 7.30pm. Ticket link now live so grab ‘em while you can! Book signings after all shows ✍️
Tour tickets (all venues):
callybeaton.com/live/
November 15, 2025 at 5:24 PM
This is what I came on stage to last night. Life’s alright sometimes, innit.
I’ll be back at in Tunbridge Wells with a second date in 2026: Sat 13th June, 7.30pm. Ticket link now live so grab ‘em while you can! Book signings after all shows ✍️
Tour tickets (all venues):
callybeaton.com/live/
I’ll be back at in Tunbridge Wells with a second date in 2026: Sat 13th June, 7.30pm. Ticket link now live so grab ‘em while you can! Book signings after all shows ✍️
Tour tickets (all venues):
callybeaton.com/live/
Man helping out in a woman’s world…
November 14, 2025 at 4:16 PM
Man helping out in a woman’s world…
And the award for best homecoming goes to…
November 12, 2025 at 11:17 PM
And the award for best homecoming goes to…
(Not so) little acts of microfeminism. Taking up space that is ours.
November 12, 2025 at 12:05 PM
(Not so) little acts of microfeminism. Taking up space that is ours.
My daughter and I have not lived in the same country for 7 years now. Every time we say goodbye, we each hide cards somewhere for the other to find. Just found today’s tucked into my laptop at the airport. It’s with the usual heavy heart I’m flying in wrong direction. Te amo, hija mía.
November 11, 2025 at 3:10 PM
My daughter and I have not lived in the same country for 7 years now. Every time we say goodbye, we each hide cards somewhere for the other to find. Just found today’s tucked into my laptop at the airport. It’s with the usual heavy heart I’m flying in wrong direction. Te amo, hija mía.
Hola! Over in Madrid to witness the launch TODAY of Spanish Namaste Motherf*ckers! Available now in all good book stores, online or go to callybeaton.com 🇪🇸 🧡🙏🏻
November 11, 2025 at 7:12 AM
Hola! Over in Madrid to witness the launch TODAY of Spanish Namaste Motherf*ckers! Available now in all good book stores, online or go to callybeaton.com 🇪🇸 🧡🙏🏻
Come on Luton - keep up!
All 2025 & 2026 tour tickets here; book signings after all shows:
callybeaton.com/live/
All 2025 & 2026 tour tickets here; book signings after all shows:
callybeaton.com/live/
November 10, 2025 at 6:17 PM
Come on Luton - keep up!
All 2025 & 2026 tour tickets here; book signings after all shows:
callybeaton.com/live/
All 2025 & 2026 tour tickets here; book signings after all shows:
callybeaton.com/live/
How is it our last day already? 👯♂️ ❤️
November 10, 2025 at 10:07 AM
How is it our last day already? 👯♂️ ❤️
Sleep’s been a bit disrupted this year - for many reasons, not all of them 56-yr-old-woman-related. Then over in Madrid for the weekend, sharing bedroom with my daughter, I sleep for 10 hours. And we wake and laugh and talk and knit. And I’ve got my baby girl back for a couple of days.
November 9, 2025 at 9:45 AM
Sleep’s been a bit disrupted this year - for many reasons, not all of them 56-yr-old-woman-related. Then over in Madrid for the weekend, sharing bedroom with my daughter, I sleep for 10 hours. And we wake and laugh and talk and knit. And I’ve got my baby girl back for a couple of days.
This is more like it. Madrid street crossings moving away from reference man imagery. Once the evolutionary timeline depicting primate to human includes woman, we’ll know we’re in business.
November 8, 2025 at 4:57 PM
This is more like it. Madrid street crossings moving away from reference man imagery. Once the evolutionary timeline depicting primate to human includes woman, we’ll know we’re in business.
Wasn’t expecting a full moon at Heathrow…
November 7, 2025 at 9:47 PM
Wasn’t expecting a full moon at Heathrow…
VIP tour guest this week - Dad! Luckiest daughter in the world. And yes - he’s still 45 and I’m in my twenties 💚🩷🙏🏻
November 6, 2025 at 5:43 PM
VIP tour guest this week - Dad! Luckiest daughter in the world. And yes - he’s still 45 and I’m in my twenties 💚🩷🙏🏻
Bottling this for if I have a bad day.
November 4, 2025 at 12:52 PM
Bottling this for if I have a bad day.
From the mouth of a tough old bird…
November 3, 2025 at 5:08 PM
From the mouth of a tough old bird…
Last tickets for Swindon tonight, Andover tomorrow. (And thank you Southampton - last night was TERRIFIC.)
callybeaton.com/live/
💚🩷🙏🏻
callybeaton.com/live/
💚🩷🙏🏻
November 3, 2025 at 11:16 AM
Last tickets for Swindon tonight, Andover tomorrow. (And thank you Southampton - last night was TERRIFIC.)
callybeaton.com/live/
💚🩷🙏🏻
callybeaton.com/live/
💚🩷🙏🏻
Meno brain fog - it’s now or never.
November 2, 2025 at 9:53 AM
Meno brain fog - it’s now or never.
Home! Happy (but letting me know I had no business leaving in the first place).
November 1, 2025 at 4:40 PM
Home! Happy (but letting me know I had no business leaving in the first place).
Jeff has the BEST time when I’m away. (But am still hotfooting it back from Stratford Literary Fest as can’t bear being without him another second.)
October 31, 2025 at 8:46 PM
Jeff has the BEST time when I’m away. (But am still hotfooting it back from Stratford Literary Fest as can’t bear being without him another second.)
Sneaky backstage peek from last night’s show at the remarkable Pocklington Arts. Well worth the trip.
Tour tickets: callybeaton.com/live/
@foxlanebooks.bsky.social
Tour tickets: callybeaton.com/live/
@foxlanebooks.bsky.social
October 31, 2025 at 1:27 PM
Sneaky backstage peek from last night’s show at the remarkable Pocklington Arts. Well worth the trip.
Tour tickets: callybeaton.com/live/
@foxlanebooks.bsky.social
Tour tickets: callybeaton.com/live/
@foxlanebooks.bsky.social
Found a cafe* this morning after show in Barnard Castle with furniture and wall art all in colours of my book. Namaste! 💚🩷🙏🏻
(*Marshall’s - highly recommend!)
(*Marshall’s - highly recommend!)
October 30, 2025 at 4:12 PM
Found a cafe* this morning after show in Barnard Castle with furniture and wall art all in colours of my book. Namaste! 💚🩷🙏🏻
(*Marshall’s - highly recommend!)
(*Marshall’s - highly recommend!)