Cal Unchained
@callumrg21.bsky.social
I like the way you tweet, boy.
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Mozart Didn't Have A Bedtime: Comedy Writing Collection (2023)
http://linktr.ee/callumrg21
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Mozart Didn't Have A Bedtime: Comedy Writing Collection (2023)
http://linktr.ee/callumrg21
JD Vance wants to convert his Hindu wife to Christianity? Damn, that guy is out here doing missionary work on his wife in more ways than one!
October 31, 2025 at 4:23 PM
JD Vance wants to convert his Hindu wife to Christianity? Damn, that guy is out here doing missionary work on his wife in more ways than one!
Reposted by Cal Unchained
Nice reply "owning" me, unfortunately you parsed 2 levels of irony but missed completely the third, wherein it's clear I'm making fun of the persona your reply intended to critique. That being said I'm still hurt to an almost unimaginable degree
November 30, 2024 at 9:58 PM
Nice reply "owning" me, unfortunately you parsed 2 levels of irony but missed completely the third, wherein it's clear I'm making fun of the persona your reply intended to critique. That being said I'm still hurt to an almost unimaginable degree
Crazy to think Twitter launched 19 years ago, I've been around for 13 of those years and here I am still. The site just keeps getting better and here's to another 19 years #NeverBluesky
July 18, 2025 at 11:27 AM
Crazy to think Twitter launched 19 years ago, I've been around for 13 of those years and here I am still. The site just keeps getting better and here's to another 19 years #NeverBluesky
Reposted by Cal Unchained
Mom: Honey can you fold your socks, I separated them for you
Me: (8 years old and last night my Dad let me watch The Green Mile on TNT) I'm tired, boss...
Me: (8 years old and last night my Dad let me watch The Green Mile on TNT) I'm tired, boss...
March 26, 2025 at 3:37 PM
Mom: Honey can you fold your socks, I separated them for you
Me: (8 years old and last night my Dad let me watch The Green Mile on TNT) I'm tired, boss...
Me: (8 years old and last night my Dad let me watch The Green Mile on TNT) I'm tired, boss...
Reposted by Cal Unchained
Hehe, looks like my burrito taxi is here!! Normal world !! Be right back 😏 (Accidentally opening my coat closet instead of front door and my date sees my servant I keep chained and starved in there) (Having to just go with it) Are you Hernando..?
February 21, 2025 at 7:21 PM
Hehe, looks like my burrito taxi is here!! Normal world !! Be right back 😏 (Accidentally opening my coat closet instead of front door and my date sees my servant I keep chained and starved in there) (Having to just go with it) Are you Hernando..?
Reposted by Cal Unchained
Girls groupchat: This ugly dude just tried to talk to me...I think Im gonna lead him on for 2 years then try to make him kill himself.(everyone scribbling idea down in their pink notebooks)
Guys groupchat: (scrambling away from phones because somebody sent a gif of a train coming at the screen
Guys groupchat: (scrambling away from phones because somebody sent a gif of a train coming at the screen
February 4, 2025 at 3:54 PM
Girls groupchat: This ugly dude just tried to talk to me...I think Im gonna lead him on for 2 years then try to make him kill himself.(everyone scribbling idea down in their pink notebooks)
Guys groupchat: (scrambling away from phones because somebody sent a gif of a train coming at the screen
Guys groupchat: (scrambling away from phones because somebody sent a gif of a train coming at the screen
Reposted by Cal Unchained
Ok no way you're telling me that if you put a cricket in an air fryer it wouldn't come out delicious.
(Guy reads this post, finds a cricket on his porch, air fries it and eats it, and gets Cricket Disease and dies)*
*Authors note: Guy who did this was Bad Luck Brian
(Guy reads this post, finds a cricket on his porch, air fries it and eats it, and gets Cricket Disease and dies)*
*Authors note: Guy who did this was Bad Luck Brian
January 26, 2025 at 3:00 AM
Ok no way you're telling me that if you put a cricket in an air fryer it wouldn't come out delicious.
(Guy reads this post, finds a cricket on his porch, air fries it and eats it, and gets Cricket Disease and dies)*
*Authors note: Guy who did this was Bad Luck Brian
(Guy reads this post, finds a cricket on his porch, air fries it and eats it, and gets Cricket Disease and dies)*
*Authors note: Guy who did this was Bad Luck Brian
Reposted by Cal Unchained
i have synesthesia dude i can taste colors, check this out. (drinking coke) This tastes like brown (drinking water) This tastes like clear
January 17, 2025 at 2:36 AM
i have synesthesia dude i can taste colors, check this out. (drinking coke) This tastes like brown (drinking water) This tastes like clear
Why is everyone in the news talking about grooming gangs? We shouldn't be doing that, we should be making them look worse if anything
January 9, 2025 at 5:24 PM
Why is everyone in the news talking about grooming gangs? We shouldn't be doing that, we should be making them look worse if anything
My superpower isn't time travel, but if I'm ever with a time traveller it's the eerie ability to know exactly where to go and how much to charge peasants for uses of the microwave you time-travelled with in order to maximise profits
January 9, 2025 at 5:24 PM
My superpower isn't time travel, but if I'm ever with a time traveller it's the eerie ability to know exactly where to go and how much to charge peasants for uses of the microwave you time-travelled with in order to maximise profits
Heard one of my favourite actors is going to be cast in the new Lord of the Rings reboot.
Shire LaBeouf
Shire LaBeouf
December 25, 2024 at 11:07 PM
Heard one of my favourite actors is going to be cast in the new Lord of the Rings reboot.
Shire LaBeouf
Shire LaBeouf
Reposted by Cal Unchained
Fellas wyd if you approach a cute hufflepuff-coded girl like Wanna see my expecto patronum and she be like um Actually I'm Expecto my boyfriend any second Fellas : WYD..?
December 12, 2024 at 7:03 PM
Fellas wyd if you approach a cute hufflepuff-coded girl like Wanna see my expecto patronum and she be like um Actually I'm Expecto my boyfriend any second Fellas : WYD..?
Reposted by Cal Unchained
This jar holds my grandpa's smithereens
December 8, 2024 at 11:25 PM
This jar holds my grandpa's smithereens
Reposted by Cal Unchained
(Realizing i zoned out for 15 years and have a family now without noticing) (Realizing I never committed my beautiful child's name to memory) You - (forgetting if we have hogs or not but going with my gut feeling) Feed them hogs
December 7, 2024 at 11:55 PM
(Realizing i zoned out for 15 years and have a family now without noticing) (Realizing I never committed my beautiful child's name to memory) You - (forgetting if we have hogs or not but going with my gut feeling) Feed them hogs
You know you can just make a joke, with your own characters. You don't have to make every funny thought a fanfic of whatever show you like
December 6, 2024 at 11:08 PM
You know you can just make a joke, with your own characters. You don't have to make every funny thought a fanfic of whatever show you like
Hate it when my stapler runs out of charge
December 4, 2024 at 11:50 AM
Hate it when my stapler runs out of charge
If you want a several dozen lols, I wrote a review on Gulliver's Travels
callumrg21.medium.com/gulliver-tra...
callumrg21.medium.com/gulliver-tra...
Gulliver Travelled To FOUR Fantasy Lands So You Don’t Have To!
Review: Gulliver’s Travels (1726 (and it shows))
callumrg21.medium.com
November 29, 2024 at 1:20 PM
If you want a several dozen lols, I wrote a review on Gulliver's Travels
callumrg21.medium.com/gulliver-tra...
callumrg21.medium.com/gulliver-tra...
The majority of what you all post about your opinions is, at its most fundamental level, digital flytipping
November 25, 2024 at 4:52 PM
The majority of what you all post about your opinions is, at its most fundamental level, digital flytipping
The ideal number of family members
November 22, 2024 at 12:56 PM
The ideal number of family members
The only reason to migrate from Twitter to Bluesky is to go and be extremely toxic to people who migrated from Twitter to Bluesky to get away from the toxicity
November 15, 2024 at 5:18 PM
The only reason to migrate from Twitter to Bluesky is to go and be extremely toxic to people who migrated from Twitter to Bluesky to get away from the toxicity
Never really believed in "purchasing" food. If it was that important they would just give it to us for free, the government wouldn't just let everyone die
November 14, 2024 at 8:49 AM
Never really believed in "purchasing" food. If it was that important they would just give it to us for free, the government wouldn't just let everyone die
You never hear a gym leader in Pokemon say "I worked hard as a gym trainer and was internally promoted". It's all "This was my grandfather's gym" and "I learned my blazing hot battle style from Blaine!" and "I don't think having an uncle in the Elite Four really helped that much"
November 13, 2024 at 3:45 PM
You never hear a gym leader in Pokemon say "I worked hard as a gym trainer and was internally promoted". It's all "This was my grandfather's gym" and "I learned my blazing hot battle style from Blaine!" and "I don't think having an uncle in the Elite Four really helped that much"
When girls joke about killing themselves it's a concerning cry for help, that kinda thing really worries me
When boys joke about killing themselves it's boss and hilarious cos they're probably not actually gonna do it. But then they do. But it's still funny
When boys joke about killing themselves it's boss and hilarious cos they're probably not actually gonna do it. But then they do. But it's still funny
November 17, 2023 at 5:36 AM
When girls joke about killing themselves it's a concerning cry for help, that kinda thing really worries me
When boys joke about killing themselves it's boss and hilarious cos they're probably not actually gonna do it. But then they do. But it's still funny
When boys joke about killing themselves it's boss and hilarious cos they're probably not actually gonna do it. But then they do. But it's still funny
Letterboxd should ban reviews that are below three full paragraphs.
Anything below that is a 'take' at best and a 'meme' at worst, and I use both of those words in the most disparaging way possible
Anything below that is a 'take' at best and a 'meme' at worst, and I use both of those words in the most disparaging way possible
November 10, 2023 at 5:18 AM
Letterboxd should ban reviews that are below three full paragraphs.
Anything below that is a 'take' at best and a 'meme' at worst, and I use both of those words in the most disparaging way possible
Anything below that is a 'take' at best and a 'meme' at worst, and I use both of those words in the most disparaging way possible
Samsung must be a member of SAG-AFTRA, cos yesterday they announced the strike's finished and now my phone's been acting up all day
November 9, 2023 at 8:45 AM
Samsung must be a member of SAG-AFTRA, cos yesterday they announced the strike's finished and now my phone's been acting up all day