Our first kid sleeping in weird positions (god-willing, a long-term thread) 🧵

Golden retriever on the outside, Rottweiler on the inside

*shoves face full of cheetos*

wayyy too steep, JT, come on

*chews loudly and stupidly*

I thought life, post-election,
would be so dreary
but I’ve found, upon reflection,
it has been quite cheery

Nooo! The shareholder value!

Kiz is a terrible booth addition. His whole vibe is “I’m too cool to care about this that much.”

PGAT cannot hire *yet another* external personality who conveys they don’t care that much.

LIV put Arlo White in their booth, a guy whose voice conveys that he cares quite a lot, maybe even too much

“Have your cake and eat it too” is a stupid phrase until you learn it’s just backward.

It’s been publicly known for years. This didn’t take 3 minutes to google.

A list of weapons that won’t get college football touchdown celebrators in trouble:

— Bow & arrow
— Catapult
— Trojan horse
— Flail
— Cannon
— Trebuchet
— Battering ram
— Spear derivatives (pike, halberd, poleax, lance, bayonet)

Follow me for more ancient weaponry intersections with modern sports

Just finished re-reading Shane Ryan’s US Open recap about Rory, and it’s a movie I could rewatch 1000x

www.golfdigest.com/story/us-ope...

Thanksgiving in-laws week
13 children under 9
10 adults
One big ass couch and tv all to myself for two hours.

God is real.

I four-putted 18

Have never broken 80

Every boomer dad will ask you to get from this blue dot to this red star and be like “so what route did you take?”

Dad stuff: Nap cocoon for the 18-month old on a 3-hour afternoon drive

Me on a Friday morning, or a finalist at the 2024 US Mid Am?

Hint: I don’t play callaway wedges

I’m not a star, somebody lied I left my putter in the car (ROSS)

It was the Lord’s Day and it fucking ruled (dear lord sorry about the cursing)

7:10 tee time, 38°, wanted to play 36 so bad

Jake Paul post-fight interview

As ams go, I love Cody McBride’s long languid leggy swing. Also love alliteration.