Joe Garland 🦋
LightNews LightNews
banner
bsky.dad
Joe Garland 🦋
@bsky.dad
3K followers 530 following 6K posts
TV comedy writer
EN/FR
J'aime Montréal
Posts Replies Media Videos
bsky.dad
Will Ferrell wearing black tie in an office setting with John C. Reilly seated behind him and peeking over his shoulder. John’s got one of those faces that looks like a catchers’s mitt. Hairline also worse for the wear. To say his face is lovable is to build a temple to a false god on a foundation of lies. God I hate John C. Reilly. Would he to enter a device that chips wood, perhaps testing the water with a single club foot
November 20, 2025 at 11:44 AM
bsky.dad
whew dodged a bullet there
Joyce Carol Oates @JoyceCarolOates So curious that such a wealthy man never posts anything that indicates that he enjoys or is even aware of what virtually everyone appreciates— scenes from nature, pet dog or cat, praise for a movie, music, a book (but doubt that he reads); pride in a friend's or relative's accomplishment; condolences for someone who has died; pleasure in sports, acclaim for a favorite team; references to history. In fact he seems totally uneducated , uncultured. The poorest persons on Twitter may have access to more beauty & meaning in life than the "most wealthy person in the world."
November 10, 2025 at 8:16 PM
bsky.dad
Me when people misspell capitalist donors
Debra Messing crashing out
November 10, 2025 at 3:45 PM
bsky.dad
Ea for nāṣir
November 9, 2025 at 10:41 PM
bsky.dad
IT’S BEEN EIGHTY FOUR YEARS
November 9, 2025 at 6:08 PM
bsky.dad
No energy to fight, just kinda letting my daughter run hog wild with it this morning
She painted me like one of her french clowns
November 8, 2025 at 4:30 PM
bsky.dad
we did it joe
November 7, 2025 at 1:35 PM
bsky.dad
Still from a scene from The Office where Dwight Office decorated the conference room with a taped-together printout that says “IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY.” and some anemic gray balloons
November 6, 2025 at 12:21 AM
bsky.dad
The Saddam hiding place meme but the air vent is socialism and the fan is Zohran and the saddam is Dick Cheney
November 5, 2025 at 2:48 AM
bsky.dad
We’re excited to share that Joe Garland of bsky.dad has been named a 2025 Smart Posting Rising Poster Award winner! 👏

This well-deserved recognition celebrates outstanding posters who are driving innovation and shaping the future of posting.

Congratulations, Joe!

#PostingAward #ImpactPosting
some nonsense linkedin style graphic with my picture on it and a bunch of stupid shit that’s vaguely about posting
November 3, 2025 at 3:58 PM
bsky.dad
Hans Moleman disant « je disais “ra-boo-in” »
November 2, 2025 at 12:04 PM
bsky.dad
Marisa waiting on a reply like
Skeleton waiting by rotary phone Skeleton staring intently at laptop Skeleton asleep on laptop Skeleton resting skull on table after ripping a healthy line of blow
October 30, 2025 at 5:13 PM
bsky.dad
MOM
Caption this with the 2nd to last text you sent. It’s a scary 90s motel room looking thing with a scary tv/vcr combo and blood all over the walls
October 26, 2025 at 3:08 PM
bsky.dad
Donnie Darko: A shipment from order #177072 is on the way shrink: on the way or Pre-Shipment, Shipping Label Created, USPS Awaiting Item? Darko: USPS Awaiting Item
October 23, 2025 at 7:01 PM
bsky.dad
On Bluesky having the time of my life with a bunch of friends. They’re all just out of frame, in the phone I used to take this selfie, clicking like
me
October 23, 2025 at 1:53 PM
bsky.dad
OUI… HON HON HON… OUI!
October 20, 2025 at 6:18 PM
bsky.dad
I asked the computer to generate art about itself that meant nothing and it gave me Kieślopski
Blue-tinted windowless posting mine full of toilers, overseen by executives perusing actionable data-driven insights White-tinted humanoid painting something out of stolen signatures Red-tinted artists and farm workers seizing the means of data center
October 19, 2025 at 4:15 PM
bsky.dad
The balls of this restaurant. “FAT!!! Here’s your food fattie”
My takeout bag says HEAVY! and they underlined it three times
October 17, 2025 at 9:17 PM
bsky.dad
who did this
Bart Simpson kicking a sick ollie in a hospital room in front of a pregnant anthropomorphized cow and a supportive dad-to-be Ned Flanders, saying “DON’T HAVE A COWMAN” but it’s all fucked up and pixelated and bulgy
October 17, 2025 at 10:07 AM
bsky.dad
quelqu'un a oublié de faire sa lecture
un livre pour enfants intitulé « ne touche jamais un porc-épic! »
October 13, 2025 at 10:22 PM
bsky.dad
The time has come. I will make my child love baseball cards
Children’s Tylenol
October 12, 2025 at 7:16 PM
bsky.dad
data viz is my passion
A chart called “Charting the Parallel Rise of MAGA and the Most Annoying Chris” that I’m definitely not going to transcribe in alt text. It’s just line go up for both MAGA and Chris Pratt since 2010 with some jokes in it
October 11, 2025 at 11:55 AM
bsky.dad
Abe Simpson saying “I can’t wait to eat that monkey”
October 9, 2025 at 11:06 PM
bsky.dad
Gotta hand it to my shopper. Nailed it
Organic Navel Orange Est. $8.49 Qty: 4 Weight: est. 2.84 lb ($2.99/lb) Your preferred substitution wasn't available, so your shopper selected this alternative for Organic Navel Orange
October 8, 2025 at 9:59 PM
bsky.dad
One question I’m constantly asked is: “How do you do it all?”
An apple notes screenshot of a to-do list with one checked-off item that says “post”
October 8, 2025 at 7:50 PM