Brian is Ze
@brianisze.bsky.social
Ex-dancer, comedy adjacent, clinging to rap, great mind
Israel been out her killing journalists like alcoholism, depression, and Fortune 500 companies decided to team up.
August 12, 2025 at 3:17 PM
Israel been out her killing journalists like alcoholism, depression, and Fortune 500 companies decided to team up.
I can rap like these other niggas but nobody raps like me
August 9, 2025 at 6:38 AM
I can rap like these other niggas but nobody raps like me
Wale, Waka, and Roscoe Dash have all been on projects that rap media is talking about in the last month. Them recession heaters bout to make a comeback!
August 7, 2025 at 5:51 PM
Wale, Waka, and Roscoe Dash have all been on projects that rap media is talking about in the last month. Them recession heaters bout to make a comeback!
When I’m mean to myself about being fat, it’s not fatphobic and doesn’t harm other fat people because I’m a different type of fat; a bad, unlovable, don’t deserve to live type of fat that no one else is capable of being. I feel like you aren’t getting it…
August 5, 2025 at 4:15 AM
When I’m mean to myself about being fat, it’s not fatphobic and doesn’t harm other fat people because I’m a different type of fat; a bad, unlovable, don’t deserve to live type of fat that no one else is capable of being. I feel like you aren’t getting it…
If I’d been around for early eugenics when they were pitching phrenology, I’d have pushed for hands instead of skulls. I’ve got a lot of unhealthy judgements about finger types.
July 20, 2025 at 2:13 PM
If I’d been around for early eugenics when they were pitching phrenology, I’d have pushed for hands instead of skulls. I’ve got a lot of unhealthy judgements about finger types.
Maybe we need to explain that water is the main ingredient in all other drinks so people who don’t like drinking water can viscerally understand that it’s bad if we run out
July 18, 2025 at 10:07 PM
Maybe we need to explain that water is the main ingredient in all other drinks so people who don’t like drinking water can viscerally understand that it’s bad if we run out
All my dependents are literal. None are tax deductions. They’d just be dead or unhoused without me.
July 18, 2025 at 8:00 PM
All my dependents are literal. None are tax deductions. They’d just be dead or unhoused without me.
Preppers 🤝 criminals 🤝 millennials
“My retirement plan is going underground”
“My retirement plan is going underground”
July 18, 2025 at 7:21 PM
Preppers 🤝 criminals 🤝 millennials
“My retirement plan is going underground”
“My retirement plan is going underground”
I think I would have only been surprised that it was nonconsecutive Trump terms and not some new, fascist dynasty hand off on the government side.
I'm trying to think about how I would have reacted if shown this headline five years ago
July 15, 2025 at 10:09 PM
I think I would have only been surprised that it was nonconsecutive Trump terms and not some new, fascist dynasty hand off on the government side.
Reposted by Brian is Ze
If you haven’t already, now is a great time to start not supporting Gavin Newsome for president
July 15, 2025 at 8:45 PM
If you haven’t already, now is a great time to start not supporting Gavin Newsome for president
No, see, ya gotta pester the politicians you get shamed in to voting for to do the right thing. I’m the smart Ren type and you the simple Stimpy who has, once again, forgotten to jiggle the handle.
July 4, 2025 at 11:30 PM
No, see, ya gotta pester the politicians you get shamed in to voting for to do the right thing. I’m the smart Ren type and you the simple Stimpy who has, once again, forgotten to jiggle the handle.
Reposted by Brian is Ze
I hate how hybrid cars sound like an alien spaceship landing, here i am thinking i'm about to get a nice lil free vacation then BAM pinned against a fire hydrant by an Acura ZDX 🙄
June 26, 2025 at 11:21 PM
I hate how hybrid cars sound like an alien spaceship landing, here i am thinking i'm about to get a nice lil free vacation then BAM pinned against a fire hydrant by an Acura ZDX 🙄
“I fuck with the vision,” I say quietly to myself as I hit “save for later” on a reel of someone making a food that only went specifically uncomdemned in religious texts because the authors could not conceive of its conception
June 10, 2025 at 12:36 AM
“I fuck with the vision,” I say quietly to myself as I hit “save for later” on a reel of someone making a food that only went specifically uncomdemned in religious texts because the authors could not conceive of its conception
Reposted by Brian is Ze
This but it's the start of Liquid Swords after the movie monologue.
PRESI-DEMENTIA/CON-MANDER-IN-CHIEF/FATTY SHACK/AYATOLLAH COMPLAINI/TANNIBAL LECTER/SCAMMY DAVIS JR./RICH LITTLE HANDS/HIPPOPOTUS/OUR FONDLING FARTER/TRUMPELSTILTSKIN/HUNGRY HUNGRY HYPOCRITE/DICTATOR TOT/UNCLE SCAM/QUID PRO COMBOVER/MANGO MUSSOLINI/FRANCIS FORD GROPE-ALA/ALEXANDER SCAMILTON <the end>
May 25, 2025 at 10:22 PM
This but it's the start of Liquid Swords after the movie monologue.
Rocked up eating Kellogg’s grahams crackers at the thought of them both rolling in their graves
May 25, 2025 at 3:05 AM
Rocked up eating Kellogg’s grahams crackers at the thought of them both rolling in their graves
Reposted by Brian is Ze
EverytimeI see a Kia Seol I am extremely disappointed when it is not filled with hip hop hamsters like ib the commercials.
April 4, 2025 at 1:09 AM
EverytimeI see a Kia Seol I am extremely disappointed when it is not filled with hip hop hamsters like ib the commercials.
I have a partner named Jolene, a best friend named Joe, a best friend named Jon, and a bandmate named Jonathan. I double check that my texts went to the right person so fucking much
April 6, 2025 at 2:03 PM
I have a partner named Jolene, a best friend named Joe, a best friend named Jon, and a bandmate named Jonathan. I double check that my texts went to the right person so fucking much
In a better world, Detroiters, Southside, and Bust Down would all still be on tv and doing crossovers.
February 24, 2025 at 6:18 PM
In a better world, Detroiters, Southside, and Bust Down would all still be on tv and doing crossovers.
My lurker porn account has more followers than my real account. I’m off-putting to bots. They must be getting close to passing the Turing test.
February 24, 2025 at 9:31 AM
My lurker porn account has more followers than my real account. I’m off-putting to bots. They must be getting close to passing the Turing test.
Reposted by Brian is Ze
Fictional villains: my motivation involves a complex backstory around lost love and a deep yearning to be understood
Real life villains: being cruel makes me feel like a big strong man
Real life villains: being cruel makes me feel like a big strong man
February 20, 2025 at 8:26 PM
Fictional villains: my motivation involves a complex backstory around lost love and a deep yearning to be understood
Real life villains: being cruel makes me feel like a big strong man
Real life villains: being cruel makes me feel like a big strong man
I hate when I have thoughts for posts like this bc I have to time it to when no one thinks it’s about them specifically. Sometimes posts in this lane can take months.
Me: I just don’t know why I am not profiting in art.
Earlier:
Friend: Oh, I love that painting!
Me: Aww, you can have it!
Looks like it’s a mystery.
Earlier:
Friend: Oh, I love that painting!
Me: Aww, you can have it!
Looks like it’s a mystery.
February 21, 2025 at 5:30 AM
I hate when I have thoughts for posts like this bc I have to time it to when no one thinks it’s about them specifically. Sometimes posts in this lane can take months.
Did they make this before they decided to do a hard fasc turn? All of these characters read as gender queer
This is Meta’s brand new ad for Horizon Worlds. Not sure how I’m supposed to feel about it.
February 17, 2025 at 5:23 AM
Did they make this before they decided to do a hard fasc turn? All of these characters read as gender queer