Bonnie Patterson
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bonniepatterson.bsky.social
Bonnie Patterson
@bonniepatterson.bsky.social
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Lead Narrative Designer on UNANNOUNCED CONSOLE SHOOTER. Yes, we finally get to shoot all those unannounced consoles! She/her. Former cyberneticist.
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bonniepatterson.bsky.social
(by Tee & sympathy)
Available on Redbubble from Tee & Sympathy
October 12, 2025 at 2:42 PM
bonniepatterson.bsky.social
Headphones, I'm sure, are the modern version of the holy gold pointy hat. When we put them on, we can work magic.
The "Berlin Gold Hat" - a bronze age gold artefact made of thin gold leaf. At the base, it has a smallish brim, perhaps 4-5cm wide, then a concave foot, and then a tall conical section taking the height of the whole thing up to just short of 1m tall. What looks at first like a pattern of bosses and dividing lines has since been revealed to be a calendar - because those bronze age europeans just put calendars EVERYWHERE. The hat largely resembles a wizard's hat. A pair of gold-ornamented over-ear headphones.
October 2, 2025 at 5:07 PM
bonniepatterson.bsky.social
This is the list of games that AI thinks use cnc-ddraw.

AI does not work.

Though I would play Fallout: Theme Hospital if it existed.
The following games have been tested and supported by cnc-ddraw, which helps them run smoothly on platforms like WINE: Command & Conquer Gold Command & Conquer: Red Alert Command & Conquer: Tiberian Sun Command & Conquer: Red Alert 2 Carmageddon Carmageddon 2 Warcraft II StarCraft Diablo 2: Age of Empires Age of Empires II Fallout: The Theme Hospital Populous: The Beginning Outlaws: Dungeon Keeper Dark Reign: The Future of War Star Wars: Galactic Battlegrounds Atomic Bomberman Dune 2000 Oddworld: Abe's Oddysee Commandos: Red Baron 3D F-16 Multirole Fighter F-22 Raptor Nox
August 31, 2025 at 1:23 PM
bonniepatterson.bsky.social
This image may be of use to you:
A poster with a dirty grey border around the edge. It is evidently printed on newsprint paper. A logo and text at the top of the poster attribute it to "Scarfolk Council Citizens Advice". The logo of this esteemed organization is of a white eye contained in a black square which is in turn bounded by a black ring with white borders. It is watching you. The poster itself is black, with newsprint-white (i.e. more whitish-dirty-grey) text and a greyscale image of a hand pointing its finger at the viewer taking up most of the image. At some point, the poster has been folded into quarters but it is unfolded now. Beneath the hand is the word "No" followed by an asterisk. It is in a big chunky bold font, very firm and insistent. Beneath that in a much smaller font is the explanatory footnote for the asterisk. "*No" At the very bottom, in the smallest font of all, is the call to action. It states: "For more information please reread this poster." The wonderful Scarfolk blog by Richard Littler can be found at http://scarfolk.blogspot.com/ Scarfolk is a small British town stuck perpetually in the 1970s. It is deeply satirical and features dystopian humour in the form of splendid art and text articles. For more information please reread this alt text.
August 24, 2025 at 12:27 PM
bonniepatterson.bsky.social
And let's not forget the mythical Alot, a much-loved creature.

"I like this Alot".
The semi-mythical nature of the Alot has not stopped this brown, wooly, horned beast being liked, loved and cared about by the human population. It doesn't really know what to make it of though, which may explain why the human hugging the perplexed Alot is wearing a red shirt - a legendary symbol of impending death noted for being more accurate than a banshee's wail.
August 4, 2025 at 4:26 PM
bonniepatterson.bsky.social
Uhhh... what?
A message from Bing saying that they can only deliver search results in the UK that comply with the "Strict" safe search settings. For context. I was trying to look up the real name of the politician everyone calls "Craftywank" now.
August 4, 2025 at 10:11 AM
bonniepatterson.bsky.social
If you are a little bit green and live in the Midlands of the UK, would you be willing to give nature a hand?

The Chequered Skipper butterfly used to live everywhere but has been hiding in Scotland for a long time. Now it's starting to spread south again.

(how to help next)
The chequered skipper butterfly is a warm brown shade with bright yellow spots, and the end of each antenna looks like it has a pompom on it. Favourite plants for it to lay eggs on or eat nectar from are the Bugle (aka. Ajuga plant), Bluebells, Hibiscus and Hollyhocks. If you can pop a plant or two in your garden or even in a pot on your windowsill, it will help the Skippers' numbers recover.
July 1, 2025 at 3:07 PM
bonniepatterson.bsky.social
Current mood:
A Potoo chick. It is basically a sphere of white fluff with a very wide beak and two very judgemental red eyes. It has no discernable body parts - it's just round.
June 14, 2025 at 9:22 PM
bonniepatterson.bsky.social
The Aberdeen Bestiary agrees.
A picture of three... probably cats, from the Aberdeen Bestiary - an illuminated manuscript. Two of the... probably cats are painted in deep indigo with wavy lines covering their bodies to indicate fur... maybe. They have bat-like ears and bird-like feet. One is posed semi-standing, with its back feet on a low rock, also painted in blue, and its front feet on a higher one. Its body seems long and stretched and its tail seems to be a flap that starts halfway along its back. The second indigo cat is posed as if pouncing or begging for treats, atop a red rock. Its hind legs are bent beneath it and its front paws extended. Its tail looks fairly normal and is attached to its hindquarters in a plausible manner. The third cat is orange, so naturally it is curled over to stick its head as far up its anus as possible as it washes it with its tongue. Its legs are everywhere.
April 20, 2025 at 3:00 PM
bonniepatterson.bsky.social
People are saying that Kilmar Abrego's knuckle tattoos say "MS-13" is a convoluted and inconsistent code.

Here is the correct translation for his tattoos, from left to right in the image.

"I like weed"
"I get high"
"Jesus, watch over me"
"Santa Muerte, watch over me"
An photo of Kilmar Abrego Garcia's left hand being held up by Donald Trump. The letters "M" "S" "1" and "3" have been photoshopped onto the image to "translate" his tattoos into the gang name. His tattoos, from left to right in the image, are a marijuana leaf, an x-eyed stoner smiley face, a crucifix and a skull. My suggestions as to the actual meaning of these tattoos are in the attached post.
April 20, 2025 at 2:18 PM
bonniepatterson.bsky.social
A smiling man in a white coat with a stethescope is posed within a pink area of background in a typical manner for a healthcare advert. Next to him, in white text inside a dark blue box, is the bold heading "Republicans", followed by a number of points that mirror RFK Jr's statements on autistic people. "These are businessmen who will never pay taxes" "They'll never do a real job" "They'll never play Blaseball" "They'll never read a poem" "They're all out of date" "Many of them will never change their diapers unassisted"
April 17, 2025 at 1:26 PM
bonniepatterson.bsky.social
Don't panic! I have the gif! Hang in there!

*gasp gasp* Got it! Here it is!

Discord fell over.
April 10, 2025 at 8:27 PM
bonniepatterson.bsky.social
Share the last movie you watched.
April 7, 2025 at 9:32 PM
bonniepatterson.bsky.social
Image from the Aberdeen Bestiary.

Jesus tells an elephant to fuck off, horrifying a nearby squirrel. A lion and a bull are awe-struck by his panache.
Page from an illuminated manuscript (the Aberdeen bestiary). A vibrantly-coloured picture of Jesus faces three smaller panels containing an elephant; a rabbit, a squirrel and a cat; a lion and a bull. A wide panel beneath jesus's feet shows goats and antelopes gamboling. Jesus is sticking two fingers up at the elephant. The rabbit looks shocked and the squirrel covers its face in dismay, but the cat has been distracted by a fly. The lion and the bull look very impressed, though, having never seen anyone do something so edgy before. Goat does not care.
March 20, 2025 at 8:54 PM
bonniepatterson.bsky.social
My cat has special educational needs and is unlikely to be able to cope with a fully grown raptor.

Could we request a Potoo? They could have fun together hitting things with their heads.
A tawny-feathered Potoo. It has large yellow eyes with massively dilated pupils, as if it is trying to look cute or perhaps hit its head a bit hard on the eggshell on its way out.
March 14, 2025 at 3:04 PM
bonniepatterson.bsky.social
@theguardian.com Hey, what's this in one of your articles today?

I've yet to see anything discrediting the Steele dossier. Plenty of commentaries from intelligence agencies seem to rate it rather highly. And Trump's actions only conform more and more tightly to its predictions by the day.
March 13, 2025 at 9:43 PM
bonniepatterson.bsky.social
Here, have an example of just how awful AI dialogue is. Originally posted *with pride* by Ubisoft, whose AI marketing division has evidently never spoken to a human.
Image from a future Watchdogs game, released by Ubisoft to show how their system of Narrative Deigner-refined prompts used with generative AI can make "great" dialogue. An NPC, Bloom, stands in what appears to be an office building's kitchen, looking at a large screen showing a black and white image. "Yes!" Bloom exclaims, plausibly. "Shadow has found the laptop on the small desk in the corner of the room. Hack can proceed." Note how exquisitely the abbreviated "Hack can proceed" blends with the excessive detail of the inhumanly phrased "small desk in the corner of the room", which is essential because - as you know - what any rebel would be worrying about at that point is "Great, but how big was the desk?" The original release of this image was accompanied by a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of writers cried out in agony and were suddenly silenced by mass layoffs.
March 11, 2025 at 12:22 PM
bonniepatterson.bsky.social
Still true today.
March 2, 2025 at 4:28 PM
bonniepatterson.bsky.social
As someone who once lived in one of these dorms, I think that looks absolutely real.
The glass and concrete ziggurat student housing at the University of East Anglia, Norfolk.
February 27, 2025 at 12:32 PM
bonniepatterson.bsky.social
If the primary appeal of his Gaza resort (and it will wind up being his, not America's) is the history embodied in the area, it won't be there long because he doesn't know how to look without grabbing.

He'll build a casino in the Church of St Porphyrius & wind up wrecking it.
The Church of Saint Porphyrius is believed to be of the oldest in Gaza City (MEE/Ahmad al Danaf) A short nave is shown with a rich lapis blue ceiling and and elaborate gold-painted screen.
February 7, 2025 at 7:15 PM
bonniepatterson.bsky.social
She's definitely usually a Bond
"Paint me like one of your French cats." Jaelithe Valentine Fluffypants, a silver-tipped white Burmilla cat (Which basically means: silver tabby on top, white underneath, softer than your average cat, OCD), lounges back in her crimson bed on shredded tissue paper. Her tummy is turned upwards and her paws tucked in invitingly, presenting thick, soft belly fluff just waiting to be patted by a frail, unprotected hand.
February 5, 2025 at 8:53 PM
bonniepatterson.bsky.social
HUMUNGOUS DAD
A 17th century portrait of a MASSIVE ginger cat sitting on a green chair. He is as tall as the whole back of the chair. Just visible to his side is a 17th century cat toy - a pompom on a string. The painter was apparently not into realism. Or there are some really weird looking cats out there.
February 4, 2025 at 5:39 AM
bonniepatterson.bsky.social
Sweet, dainty mother cat:
A 17th century portrait of a sweet, dainty and somewhat concerned-looking tabby cat in a fancy ruff.
February 4, 2025 at 5:36 AM
bonniepatterson.bsky.social
had access to as many layers of Maslow's hierarchy as they could provide. GDP only measures one way of providing those needs, and gives no measure at all of whether it's actually being used to provide them.

Raising GDP is not the government's job. Fulfilling the hierarchy of needs is.
A triangle, coloured in bands of different hues, each labelled with a level of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. This represents the needs of each individual person and how they evolve as each set of needs below are fulfilled. At the bottom, we have two bands of Basic Needs, the essentials for survival. The lowest layer, in red, is labelled "Biological and Physiological", i.e. food, water and sleep. The second layer of basic needs is shown in orange, and labelled Safety. When a person doesn't have food and water, they lose all caution - nothing is more important for them. But when their belly is full, people need a safe, sheltered place to ensure nothing else kills them. The third and fourth layers are psychological needs. Layer 3, in yellow, is Love and Belonging. We are social animals, and need other humans around. The fourth layer in green, is Esteem. We need to feel respected and valued, but it only really matters when we have all the layers underneath already. At the apex, we have Self-Actualisation, in blue. We need to feel we are growing, building towards our potential, keeping our minds occupied and getting better at acquiring all the needs of the lower levels.
January 24, 2025 at 7:03 PM
bonniepatterson.bsky.social
If you wish to computer in this house, you must wear the Gauntlet of Bast
A beautiful silver-and white tabby cat with turquoise eyes lies sternly atop her humans wrist, engulfing it in soft kitty belly fluff, as the cruel and thoughtless human tries to use a computer mouse, despite it being past time to play with the cat.
January 15, 2025 at 9:26 PM