Richard Persimmons
@bitchy.bsky.social
I start wordle with “fugly” every day
Hey Bluesky what does it mean if a man you’ve only interacted with in a professional manner doesn’t recognize you after you drastically reduce the size of your tits? Because I can’t stop replaying an interaction from 18 months ago.
December 21, 2025 at 2:48 AM
Hey Bluesky what does it mean if a man you’ve only interacted with in a professional manner doesn’t recognize you after you drastically reduce the size of your tits? Because I can’t stop replaying an interaction from 18 months ago.
Reposted by Richard Persimmons
People keep laughing it off when I say I’m having a midlife crisis but I am
February 24, 2025 at 5:56 PM
People keep laughing it off when I say I’m having a midlife crisis but I am
Inventing the concept of a work exhusband
December 11, 2025 at 7:20 PM
Inventing the concept of a work exhusband
Couldn’t get it out of my head
November 1, 2025 at 1:24 AM
Couldn’t get it out of my head
She told me to move back to New York today. I’ve never lived in New York.
I wasn’t sure for a minute but then I remembered the cousin who wore leather pants to my mom’s funeral
October 19, 2025 at 1:58 AM
She told me to move back to New York today. I’ve never lived in New York.
What if I actually start using this account to be bitchy
October 16, 2025 at 2:12 PM
What if I actually start using this account to be bitchy
“Hey I noticed you failed to read my mind after I did not reply your direct question. It turns out you did it wrong. This is your fault for some reason.”
October 16, 2025 at 2:09 PM
“Hey I noticed you failed to read my mind after I did not reply your direct question. It turns out you did it wrong. This is your fault for some reason.”
Reposted by Richard Persimmons
Get you a girl whose keening wail can be heard from across the bog, an omen of things to come
May 24, 2025 at 4:23 AM
Get you a girl whose keening wail can be heard from across the bog, an omen of things to come
My quest to turn myself into everything the right hates has me with four tattoos, two nose rings and pink hair. I want it to be immediately clear that I am their enemy and I will fight
May 22, 2025 at 8:09 PM
My quest to turn myself into everything the right hates has me with four tattoos, two nose rings and pink hair. I want it to be immediately clear that I am their enemy and I will fight
I also saw sketch comedy tonight and got to feel smug(?) as one of the first people in the audience to recognize the home improvement theme song
March 29, 2025 at 5:40 AM
I also saw sketch comedy tonight and got to feel smug(?) as one of the first people in the audience to recognize the home improvement theme song
Tonight an uber driver guessed I was 28 and when I said this to the party, a girl who was 21 guessed that I was 24. When I told her my real age she told me I’m closer in age to her parents than her
March 29, 2025 at 5:35 AM
Tonight an uber driver guessed I was 28 and when I said this to the party, a girl who was 21 guessed that I was 24. When I told her my real age she told me I’m closer in age to her parents than her
Our house was just like anyone else’s growing up, there was my parents’ bedroom, my brother’s room, my sister’s room, the guest room and the snake room. Exactly how you’d split the rooms when you had five people and 100 snakes. Yes I am the middle child, why do you ask?
March 5, 2025 at 3:08 AM
Our house was just like anyone else’s growing up, there was my parents’ bedroom, my brother’s room, my sister’s room, the guest room and the snake room. Exactly how you’d split the rooms when you had five people and 100 snakes. Yes I am the middle child, why do you ask?
Man on feeld in front of a cyber truck. Profile says he’s looking to be cucked it’s like duh
February 25, 2025 at 2:10 AM
Man on feeld in front of a cyber truck. Profile says he’s looking to be cucked it’s like duh
People keep laughing it off when I say I’m having a midlife crisis but I am
February 24, 2025 at 5:56 PM
People keep laughing it off when I say I’m having a midlife crisis but I am
Hey quick question what is sleep how do you do it
February 24, 2025 at 5:13 AM
Hey quick question what is sleep how do you do it
Friends I am begging you: if your friend at a party expresses a need to sit please migrate the conversation circle to include them.
February 23, 2025 at 3:43 AM
Friends I am begging you: if your friend at a party expresses a need to sit please migrate the conversation circle to include them.
I’m only wearing one hand knit to this cocktail attire party I’m going to fool them all into thinking I’m hot
February 22, 2025 at 11:53 PM
I’m only wearing one hand knit to this cocktail attire party I’m going to fool them all into thinking I’m hot
Sent a man a picture where I look insanely hot and he replied and said I look cute so he should be the first to be sent to the reeducation camps
February 22, 2025 at 8:39 PM
Sent a man a picture where I look insanely hot and he replied and said I look cute so he should be the first to be sent to the reeducation camps
Need to find someone from my town that I can show a picture of my tattoo to and gauge if they get it, but not someone I told about it in advance
February 22, 2025 at 3:32 AM
Need to find someone from my town that I can show a picture of my tattoo to and gauge if they get it, but not someone I told about it in advance
Kept the sticker on my tattoo for three full days please no autographs
February 22, 2025 at 3:31 AM
Kept the sticker on my tattoo for three full days please no autographs
Honestly most of the time I can manage to feel decent about the way I present to the world but I’m in clogs and a hand knit sweater in a med spa and deeeeeeeply do not belong
February 17, 2025 at 9:56 PM
Honestly most of the time I can manage to feel decent about the way I present to the world but I’m in clogs and a hand knit sweater in a med spa and deeeeeeeply do not belong
The deep shame of trying to explain to a room of people in their mid thirties what sign of the whale was
February 17, 2025 at 2:18 AM
The deep shame of trying to explain to a room of people in their mid thirties what sign of the whale was
My cat is soft and that’s why I like her
February 16, 2025 at 3:59 AM
My cat is soft and that’s why I like her
I did not spend half a year recovering from surgery just to die in an rfk concentration camp
February 16, 2025 at 3:10 AM
I did not spend half a year recovering from surgery just to die in an rfk concentration camp