Reposted by K
another precious day in this one delicate life of mine. time to ingest stimulants and see if my least stable coworker has any opinions on current events.
February 18, 2025 at 6:04 PM
another precious day in this one delicate life of mine. time to ingest stimulants and see if my least stable coworker has any opinions on current events.
Reposted by K
The guillotine has already been invented. That part is done.
February 18, 2025 at 2:00 AM
The guillotine has already been invented. That part is done.
I hate when my cat gets scared (he’s a nervous guy) but I love that he runs to my side because he knows I’ll fuck a bitch up for him. 😩😂
January 7, 2025 at 2:02 AM
I hate when my cat gets scared (he’s a nervous guy) but I love that he runs to my side because he knows I’ll fuck a bitch up for him. 😩😂
I’ve converted someone to sleeping with a fan on. I love this for me.
January 4, 2025 at 3:54 AM
I’ve converted someone to sleeping with a fan on. I love this for me.
I refuse to ever get married or have my own kids, so the closest thing you’re going to get to that from me is building me a library to slowly fill with books I’ll probably never read.
January 1, 2025 at 8:03 PM
I refuse to ever get married or have my own kids, so the closest thing you’re going to get to that from me is building me a library to slowly fill with books I’ll probably never read.
Mama got a new kitty and she sure is pretty 😍
December 30, 2024 at 3:53 PM
Mama got a new kitty and she sure is pretty 😍
The three spirits I need
December 25, 2024 at 12:57 AM
The three spirits I need
Got kicked out of church for saying “an unethically rich CEO was shot” when the pastor asked if anyone wanted to share a joy in their life.
December 25, 2024 at 12:56 AM
Got kicked out of church for saying “an unethically rich CEO was shot” when the pastor asked if anyone wanted to share a joy in their life.
Reposted by K
the holiday spirit is so strong this year. even my dashboard is lit up like a Christmas tree 😍
December 24, 2024 at 2:43 PM
the holiday spirit is so strong this year. even my dashboard is lit up like a Christmas tree 😍
I started working with a new family and whenever they pay me they basically just throw a wad of cash at me and it’s always too much but they don’t care ever when I bring it up? 😂 do I just stop addressing it or…???
December 18, 2024 at 11:53 PM
I started working with a new family and whenever they pay me they basically just throw a wad of cash at me and it’s always too much but they don’t care ever when I bring it up? 😂 do I just stop addressing it or…???
I didn’t realize James Spader was on The Blacklist. I’m finally watching it and it is so therapeutic to hear Ultron’s condescending voice again 😂
December 17, 2024 at 11:50 PM
I didn’t realize James Spader was on The Blacklist. I’m finally watching it and it is so therapeutic to hear Ultron’s condescending voice again 😂
Santa asked what I wanted for Christmas so I said “a man who doesn’t carry his baggage around like a trophy” and now I feel bad because that’s technically what he does for a living…
December 17, 2024 at 5:40 PM
Santa asked what I wanted for Christmas so I said “a man who doesn’t carry his baggage around like a trophy” and now I feel bad because that’s technically what he does for a living…
Reposted by K
just caught one of the figurines in my Christmas village constructing their own, smaller Christmas village
December 13, 2024 at 2:20 PM
just caught one of the figurines in my Christmas village constructing their own, smaller Christmas village
I miss you, Washington 🥺
December 10, 2024 at 2:38 AM
I miss you, Washington 🥺
I asked a guy what he told Santa he wanted for Christmas, and he said a blowjob. I was like, “damn! From SANTA?!” and now he’s grumpy. Should have asked Santa for a better sense of humor 💅🏼
December 9, 2024 at 3:03 AM
I asked a guy what he told Santa he wanted for Christmas, and he said a blowjob. I was like, “damn! From SANTA?!” and now he’s grumpy. Should have asked Santa for a better sense of humor 💅🏼
I need someone to say, “Krissy, no. You don’t need to save anymore discounted plants from Lowe’s. 2957993 in the past month is enough.”
December 8, 2024 at 7:42 PM
I need someone to say, “Krissy, no. You don’t need to save anymore discounted plants from Lowe’s. 2957993 in the past month is enough.”
Reposted by K
We wanted to understand what’s going on in South Korea. So we talked to three Joe Rogan listeners at an Arby’s in Harrisburg
December 6, 2024 at 2:45 AM
We wanted to understand what’s going on in South Korea. So we talked to three Joe Rogan listeners at an Arby’s in Harrisburg
I recently told a 2A guy that I was thinking about getting a gun, and I’ve never seen someone looks so scared in their life. To be fair I also had just told him that the best form of torture would be to pluck every individual hair off of someone. So maybe that was it?
December 6, 2024 at 5:16 PM
I recently told a 2A guy that I was thinking about getting a gun, and I’ve never seen someone looks so scared in their life. To be fair I also had just told him that the best form of torture would be to pluck every individual hair off of someone. So maybe that was it?
Reposted by K
watching elderly women brutally dunking on a dead CEO in the Facebook comment section using their full legal name has been the thrill of a lifetime. hell yeah Linda, this is for your hip replacement!!!
December 6, 2024 at 12:35 AM
watching elderly women brutally dunking on a dead CEO in the Facebook comment section using their full legal name has been the thrill of a lifetime. hell yeah Linda, this is for your hip replacement!!!
My mom: *watched 8319 new Christmas movies on hallmark each year*
Me: *watches the same 8 Christmas movies each year*
Us: the one we watch together
Me: *watches the same 8 Christmas movies each year*
Us: the one we watch together
a black and white photo of a man and woman holding a small child
ALT: a black and white photo of a man and woman holding a small child
media.tenor.com
December 6, 2024 at 1:01 AM
My mom: *watched 8319 new Christmas movies on hallmark each year*
Me: *watches the same 8 Christmas movies each year*
Us: the one we watch together
Me: *watches the same 8 Christmas movies each year*
Us: the one we watch together
I’m glad the whales have finally made it to shore. I hope more land yachts get taken down soon. 😌
December 6, 2024 at 12:49 AM
I’m glad the whales have finally made it to shore. I hope more land yachts get taken down soon. 😌
Started this game of life in 1987, and have been taking nothing but side quests ever since.
December 5, 2024 at 3:08 AM
Started this game of life in 1987, and have been taking nothing but side quests ever since.
Reposted by K
If you can’t handle me at my worst, it isn’t getting any fucking better.
December 5, 2024 at 2:17 AM
If you can’t handle me at my worst, it isn’t getting any fucking better.
Asking “are you mad at me?” to my plants that are being dramatic for no reason.
December 3, 2024 at 10:29 PM
Asking “are you mad at me?” to my plants that are being dramatic for no reason.
Reposted by K
took exactly 3 days for this excellent idea of "advent calendar with a new tea for every day" to become "fuck you i'm not drinking bloody turmeric chai"
December 3, 2024 at 3:39 PM
took exactly 3 days for this excellent idea of "advent calendar with a new tea for every day" to become "fuck you i'm not drinking bloody turmeric chai"