Deconstructing Man
@beyondmatt528.bsky.social
Evangelical-ish. Affirming. Promoting healthy male sexuality beyond guilt and stereotypes, both conservative and progressive. More contradictions to come.
Further evidence that the reason evangelicals feel guilty about porn is because they’ve been told over and over to feel guilty about porn.
"porn addiction isn't real" finally has scientific proof in a meta study because it finds the root cause - religious upbringing. And this was conducted by people who *went in thinking the addiction was real*! www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/wome...
Science Stopped Believing in Porn Addiction. You Should, Too
Research finds that porn-related problems are predominantly caused by religious conflict. Clinically, this means people need help, but not necessarily with the porn.
www.psychologytoday.com
April 6, 2025 at 12:52 PM
Further evidence that the reason evangelicals feel guilty about porn is because they’ve been told over and over to feel guilty about porn.
Reposted by Deconstructing Man
I keep this to myself, but much of my evangelical deconstruction journey was directly prompted by disappointment in my married sex life, and how ripped off and disillusioned I felt by its sexual prosperity gospel.
March 2, 2025 at 11:21 PM
I keep this to myself, but much of my evangelical deconstruction journey was directly prompted by disappointment in my married sex life, and how ripped off and disillusioned I felt by its sexual prosperity gospel.
💯 💯 💯
and it's no picnic for cis het dudes either most of the time tbh - i think everyone tends to overlook all the emotional spiritual abuse boys then men receive about arousal, masturbation, and porn. it causes substance abuse, anxiety, depression, and even suicide
purity culture fucks everyone up
purity culture fucks everyone up
March 2, 2025 at 11:40 PM
💯 💯 💯
I keep this to myself, but much of my evangelical deconstruction journey was directly prompted by disappointment in my married sex life, and how ripped off and disillusioned I felt by its sexual prosperity gospel.
March 2, 2025 at 11:21 PM
I keep this to myself, but much of my evangelical deconstruction journey was directly prompted by disappointment in my married sex life, and how ripped off and disillusioned I felt by its sexual prosperity gospel.
The opposite of purity culture is consent culture. Ironically both call for self-control and accountability for one’s actions. But only one is actually about respecting people rather than abstract rules.
December 10, 2024 at 3:28 AM
The opposite of purity culture is consent culture. Ironically both call for self-control and accountability for one’s actions. But only one is actually about respecting people rather than abstract rules.
💯 for boys too.
This is one of the reasons I think it's very important to have friendships with the opposite sex growing up. You have to know what's normal and good and develop boundaries to keep yourself safe. I'm working on this really intentionally with my girls.
November 26, 2024 at 2:56 AM
💯 for boys too.
I don’t know who said this first but…Purity culture teaches women to hate their bodies. It teaches men to hate their minds.
November 26, 2024 at 2:46 AM
I don’t know who said this first but…Purity culture teaches women to hate their bodies. It teaches men to hate their minds.
And also fucking up men by not equipping them with the ability to manage their own sexuality appropriately.
Regardless of what happens on the national stage, it is critical to continue to expose teachings trapping women and children in harmful situations and enabling abusive and controlling behaviors to go unchecked.
open.substack.com/pub/kristind...
open.substack.com/pub/kristind...
Rape Culture and Purity Culture
Dismantle the Myths
open.substack.com
November 26, 2024 at 2:25 AM
And also fucking up men by not equipping them with the ability to manage their own sexuality appropriately.
This is so staggeringly true. I was never taught how to manage my sexual feelings; only how to repress them.
Purity Culture has the opposite effect it supposes. It fuels passions into flames, just like a pressure-cooker lid pressurizes the contents to the point of explosion.
This is why we see surprising behavior from people embracing purity culture.
This is why we see surprising behavior from people embracing purity culture.
November 22, 2024 at 5:42 PM
This is so staggeringly true. I was never taught how to manage my sexual feelings; only how to repress them.
I’m not trying to diminish or push aside women’s pain here, but just want to say it fucks up men pretty bad too.
We've heard countless horror stories about how "Purity Culture" harms young Christian women.
New research shows it hurts *married* women, too, because it leads to physical pain and "lower sexual satisfaction."
www.friendlyatheist.com/p/purity-cul...
New research shows it hurts *married* women, too, because it leads to physical pain and "lower sexual satisfaction."
www.friendlyatheist.com/p/purity-cul...
Purity Culture hurts women even after they get married, say researchers
The beliefs, widespread in the world of evangelical Christianity, have ruined countless lives
www.friendlyatheist.com
November 16, 2024 at 8:45 PM
I’m not trying to diminish or push aside women’s pain here, but just want to say it fucks up men pretty bad too.
I was the stereotypical evangelical young man...managing my sexual impulses entirely through the "wait until marriage" model, and then it came crashing down when my wife turned out to be a living person of her own that did not just magically conform to my sexual needs.
November 16, 2024 at 1:57 PM
I was the stereotypical evangelical young man...managing my sexual impulses entirely through the "wait until marriage" model, and then it came crashing down when my wife turned out to be a living person of her own that did not just magically conform to my sexual needs.
Give this post an ironic "like" if this book messed you up bad.
November 15, 2024 at 8:44 PM
Give this post an ironic "like" if this book messed you up bad.
The abandonment of "purity culture" is wild. Every evangelical now seems to agree it "was" bad....but they just mean the creepiest parts. The guilt and rules and self-loathing for "wrong" sexual thoughts and actions? Oh that's still God's plan.
November 15, 2024 at 6:44 PM
The abandonment of "purity culture" is wild. Every evangelical now seems to agree it "was" bad....but they just mean the creepiest parts. The guilt and rules and self-loathing for "wrong" sexual thoughts and actions? Oh that's still God's plan.
The fundamental focus of this account is that evangelical men are not taught to manage their own sexuality in a healthy way. The goal is to create safe conversations to do so.
November 15, 2024 at 4:46 PM
The fundamental focus of this account is that evangelical men are not taught to manage their own sexuality in a healthy way. The goal is to create safe conversations to do so.