Jason Kinkade
@bestifyoudont.com
Dad. K-12 teacher. Security guard.
bestifyoudont.com
☆ Climate change is an extinction-level event driven by capitalism.
☆ Billion-dollar-scale income inequality is a human rights violation.
☆ The social contract must guarantee no-cost healthcare.
bestifyoudont.com
☆ Climate change is an extinction-level event driven by capitalism.
☆ Billion-dollar-scale income inequality is a human rights violation.
☆ The social contract must guarantee no-cost healthcare.
November 24, 2025 at 8:21 PM
Noooooo!
My agency added a ton of night shifts at the mall this week. I was looking forward to unpaid vacation.
I think they thought I needed the money? Like, I can't imagine there being that big of a holiday security threat.
Imma look at every parked car like a Timothy McVeigh situation.
My agency added a ton of night shifts at the mall this week. I was looking forward to unpaid vacation.
I think they thought I needed the money? Like, I can't imagine there being that big of a holiday security threat.
Imma look at every parked car like a Timothy McVeigh situation.
November 24, 2025 at 6:32 PM
Noooooo!
My agency added a ton of night shifts at the mall this week. I was looking forward to unpaid vacation.
I think they thought I needed the money? Like, I can't imagine there being that big of a holiday security threat.
Imma look at every parked car like a Timothy McVeigh situation.
My agency added a ton of night shifts at the mall this week. I was looking forward to unpaid vacation.
I think they thought I needed the money? Like, I can't imagine there being that big of a holiday security threat.
Imma look at every parked car like a Timothy McVeigh situation.
I'm next in line for plasma, and my dad just arrived seven spots back. 😅
People who aren't poor shouldn't clog up the line! 🤣
People who aren't poor shouldn't clog up the line! 🤣
November 24, 2025 at 4:01 PM
I'm next in line for plasma, and my dad just arrived seven spots back. 😅
People who aren't poor shouldn't clog up the line! 🤣
People who aren't poor shouldn't clog up the line! 🤣
"Sir, point those torpedoes somewhere else."
Stocky guy in line at plasma is wearing a silky sports jersey, but it's cold and his nips are rock hard.
Stocky guy in line at plasma is wearing a silky sports jersey, but it's cold and his nips are rock hard.
November 24, 2025 at 3:45 PM
"Sir, point those torpedoes somewhere else."
Stocky guy in line at plasma is wearing a silky sports jersey, but it's cold and his nips are rock hard.
Stocky guy in line at plasma is wearing a silky sports jersey, but it's cold and his nips are rock hard.
JESUS CHRISTINA!! There's TEN people ahead of me to sell plasma. 😵💫 These fuckers better be poor, too, and not clogging up the line with altruism. I see that Louis Vuiton handbag. 😠
November 24, 2025 at 3:32 PM
JESUS CHRISTINA!! There's TEN people ahead of me to sell plasma. 😵💫 These fuckers better be poor, too, and not clogging up the line with altruism. I see that Louis Vuiton handbag. 😠
Weekly reminder that saving the Earth isn't profitable so it will NEVER be policy. Delete Facebook. Cancel Amazon. Reject all consumer spending outside of necessities.
GLOBAL PEASANT UPRISING!
GLOBAL PEASANT UPRISING!
November 24, 2025 at 1:57 PM
Weekly reminder that saving the Earth isn't profitable so it will NEVER be policy. Delete Facebook. Cancel Amazon. Reject all consumer spending outside of necessities.
GLOBAL PEASANT UPRISING!
GLOBAL PEASANT UPRISING!
November 24, 2025 at 2:43 AM
I walked into the Mexican steakhouse at the mall, which I've never done, all, "Hey, can you just sell me a burrito or something cheap? Do you have a staff menu?" I was hoping for free food.
The hostess handed me a kid's menu. 🤦🏻♂️
The hostess handed me a kid's menu. 🤦🏻♂️
November 24, 2025 at 1:56 AM
I walked into the Mexican steakhouse at the mall, which I've never done, all, "Hey, can you just sell me a burrito or something cheap? Do you have a staff menu?" I was hoping for free food.
The hostess handed me a kid's menu. 🤦🏻♂️
The hostess handed me a kid's menu. 🤦🏻♂️
Thank goddess I derive sexual gratification from being humiliated. Otherwise I couldn't tolerate my life.
November 24, 2025 at 12:22 AM
Thank goddess I derive sexual gratification from being humiliated. Otherwise I couldn't tolerate my life.
My dad's Vermilion flycatcher photo from his morning dog walk.
November 23, 2025 at 4:51 PM
My dad's Vermilion flycatcher photo from his morning dog walk.
Were you guys around last year when I absolutely crushed the police fitness test on three days notice as a 42 year old man??
#WritingCommunity #Fitness #NeverBeenDone
bestifyoudont.substack.com/p/one-year-a...
#WritingCommunity #Fitness #NeverBeenDone
bestifyoudont.substack.com/p/one-year-a...
One year ago... I passed the police fitness test
Originally Posted October 2024
bestifyoudont.substack.com
November 23, 2025 at 4:01 PM
Were you guys around last year when I absolutely crushed the police fitness test on three days notice as a 42 year old man??
#WritingCommunity #Fitness #NeverBeenDone
bestifyoudont.substack.com/p/one-year-a...
#WritingCommunity #Fitness #NeverBeenDone
bestifyoudont.substack.com/p/one-year-a...
Be my mom, career and financial savant.
MOM: I don't know why you don't write a children's book and sell it for a million dollars.
ME: "The Little Bitch Security Guard and the Parking Lot of Poop!"
MOM: I don't know why you don't write a children's book and sell it for a million dollars.
ME: "The Little Bitch Security Guard and the Parking Lot of Poop!"
November 23, 2025 at 3:18 PM
Be my mom, career and financial savant.
MOM: I don't know why you don't write a children's book and sell it for a million dollars.
ME: "The Little Bitch Security Guard and the Parking Lot of Poop!"
MOM: I don't know why you don't write a children's book and sell it for a million dollars.
ME: "The Little Bitch Security Guard and the Parking Lot of Poop!"
Hoo boy. I read enough pieces of articles before their pay walls to get the gist of that German scientist's warning:
The Greenland Ice Sheet, Atlantic Meridional Overturning Circulation, South American monsoon system, and Amazon rainforest tipping points are right fucked and our grandkids will die.
The Greenland Ice Sheet, Atlantic Meridional Overturning Circulation, South American monsoon system, and Amazon rainforest tipping points are right fucked and our grandkids will die.
November 23, 2025 at 3:48 AM
Hoo boy. I read enough pieces of articles before their pay walls to get the gist of that German scientist's warning:
The Greenland Ice Sheet, Atlantic Meridional Overturning Circulation, South American monsoon system, and Amazon rainforest tipping points are right fucked and our grandkids will die.
The Greenland Ice Sheet, Atlantic Meridional Overturning Circulation, South American monsoon system, and Amazon rainforest tipping points are right fucked and our grandkids will die.
FEELS GOOD TO FINALLY BE OUT OF THOSE WET CLOTHES, AM I RIGHT??
November 23, 2025 at 2:44 AM
FEELS GOOD TO FINALLY BE OUT OF THOSE WET CLOTHES, AM I RIGHT??
I just watched a grown man in the food court remove the top of his yogurt, and then give the underside of the foil a deep, slow, lingering lick.
HE DID NOTHING WRONG. WHY DO I FEEL ICKY?
HE DID NOTHING WRONG. WHY DO I FEEL ICKY?
November 22, 2025 at 11:13 PM
I just watched a grown man in the food court remove the top of his yogurt, and then give the underside of the foil a deep, slow, lingering lick.
HE DID NOTHING WRONG. WHY DO I FEEL ICKY?
HE DID NOTHING WRONG. WHY DO I FEEL ICKY?
Let's see... I was living the dream as a middle school counselor on a beach, and then I agreed to become a cruel older woman's sugar baby. Then when her abuse became intolerable, I ran away to live on the edge of poverty and homelessness forever.
November 22, 2025 at 10:00 PM
Let's see... I was living the dream as a middle school counselor on a beach, and then I agreed to become a cruel older woman's sugar baby. Then when her abuse became intolerable, I ran away to live on the edge of poverty and homelessness forever.
I don't have any work next week because the places I protect are closed for Thanksgiving. Fuck yea, vacation!
Paying rent in January is a problem for future Jason. Fuck that guy.
Paying rent in January is a problem for future Jason. Fuck that guy.
November 22, 2025 at 8:19 PM
I don't have any work next week because the places I protect are closed for Thanksgiving. Fuck yea, vacation!
Paying rent in January is a problem for future Jason. Fuck that guy.
Paying rent in January is a problem for future Jason. Fuck that guy.
I was only in Whole Foods to refill my water bottle, but my girl bro in the bakery yelled out, "If you come back in 45 seconds there will be a fresh pepperoni pizza for you! I'm waiting for the bubbles to stop popping to cut it." Aww.
November 22, 2025 at 7:59 PM
I was only in Whole Foods to refill my water bottle, but my girl bro in the bakery yelled out, "If you come back in 45 seconds there will be a fresh pepperoni pizza for you! I'm waiting for the bubbles to stop popping to cut it." Aww.
OK yesterday and the day before required layering. Today did not. I'm in my security closet, stripping like Magic Mike.
November 22, 2025 at 5:07 PM
OK yesterday and the day before required layering. Today did not. I'm in my security closet, stripping like Magic Mike.
I'll probably be sitting in empty Dynamax Eevee lobbies from my mall post today and tomorrow. If anybody has remote raid passes to burn, c'mon in! I'm not offended if you bail out when we don't have the numbers.
#PokemonGO
#Eevee
#PokemonGO
#Eevee
November 22, 2025 at 4:06 PM
I'll probably be sitting in empty Dynamax Eevee lobbies from my mall post today and tomorrow. If anybody has remote raid passes to burn, c'mon in! I'm not offended if you bail out when we don't have the numbers.
#PokemonGO
#Eevee
#PokemonGO
#Eevee
The awkward Friday drive from my parents' house to my apartment.
ME: I was sure cold this week, how about you?
SON: No. I'm not a bitch.
ME: Bitch! I spent 24 of the last 36 hours in a parking lot!
SON: Whose poor decisions caused that??
ME: ...So, you've got two days off soon.
SON: I'm aware.
ME: I was sure cold this week, how about you?
SON: No. I'm not a bitch.
ME: Bitch! I spent 24 of the last 36 hours in a parking lot!
SON: Whose poor decisions caused that??
ME: ...So, you've got two days off soon.
SON: I'm aware.
November 22, 2025 at 4:06 AM
The awkward Friday drive from my parents' house to my apartment.
ME: I was sure cold this week, how about you?
SON: No. I'm not a bitch.
ME: Bitch! I spent 24 of the last 36 hours in a parking lot!
SON: Whose poor decisions caused that??
ME: ...So, you've got two days off soon.
SON: I'm aware.
ME: I was sure cold this week, how about you?
SON: No. I'm not a bitch.
ME: Bitch! I spent 24 of the last 36 hours in a parking lot!
SON: Whose poor decisions caused that??
ME: ...So, you've got two days off soon.
SON: I'm aware.
For those following along at home, I did return the vet tech's mom's Tupperware last night. AND I included some fun candy that I skimmed from my son's drawer.
November 22, 2025 at 2:45 AM
For those following along at home, I did return the vet tech's mom's Tupperware last night. AND I included some fun candy that I skimmed from my son's drawer.
"The first duty of every Starfleet officer is to the truth, whether it's scientific truth or historical truth or personal truth! It is the guiding principle on which Starfleet is based."
-Captain Jean-Luc Picard
-Captain Jean-Luc Picard
November 22, 2025 at 1:35 AM
"The first duty of every Starfleet officer is to the truth, whether it's scientific truth or historical truth or personal truth! It is the guiding principle on which Starfleet is based."
-Captain Jean-Luc Picard
-Captain Jean-Luc Picard
What kinda Eyes Wide Shut shenanigans happen on this floor??
November 22, 2025 at 1:21 AM
What kinda Eyes Wide Shut shenanigans happen on this floor??
Shit. I'm probably the butt of a TikTok prank after telling two dumbasses in cloaks and elf ears to stack up all their fucking cards, pick up all their fucking dice, collect all their fucking miniatures, and get off the bank patio.
😠🧝🏻♀️🧝🏼♂️
😠🧝🏻♀️🧝🏼♂️
November 21, 2025 at 11:26 PM
Shit. I'm probably the butt of a TikTok prank after telling two dumbasses in cloaks and elf ears to stack up all their fucking cards, pick up all their fucking dice, collect all their fucking miniatures, and get off the bank patio.
😠🧝🏻♀️🧝🏼♂️
😠🧝🏻♀️🧝🏼♂️