Farted loud enough that my apple watch woke up. Like “you need something, boss?” type shit.

What the actual fuck was trumps speech?

I guess Trump needs to explain why elections were more secure under Joe Biden than they are under him. Must be the auto pen.

Mamdani should recognize that his election shows that he is wrong on the issues and should abandon his policies and preferences for a bland Park Slope technocratic corporatism.

@nytimes.com tomorrow

I haven’t lived in NY for 5 years and I’m still pumped to watch Cuomo get obliterated in November

Trump: don’t take acepitoemponoene

RFK Jr: *moth crawls out of mouth*

A nude man is in the background, only referred to as “the colonel”

Person watching on tv: well if they say so