Banana Hoard
@bananahoard.bsky.social
Mid 30's. He/Him.
That hoard with the bananas.
NSFW SIDE/Venting
BananaHoard on Tumblr, too. I don't bite, just don't be weird.
That hoard with the bananas.
NSFW SIDE/Venting
BananaHoard on Tumblr, too. I don't bite, just don't be weird.
Bruh I am like. CONVINCED nobody anywhere likes me at all. I wish I could shake it. Co-workers. Friends. Doesn't matter. I catch one sort of tone or something & my brain just goes fucking haywire from trauma. All it took was one person blowing up at me to ruin me.
January 11, 2026 at 6:35 AM
Bruh I am like. CONVINCED nobody anywhere likes me at all. I wish I could shake it. Co-workers. Friends. Doesn't matter. I catch one sort of tone or something & my brain just goes fucking haywire from trauma. All it took was one person blowing up at me to ruin me.
Paranoia got me in a stranglehold again, sorry.
January 11, 2026 at 6:28 AM
Paranoia got me in a stranglehold again, sorry.
Probably not great that my only human interaction lately is my bosses & my husband & literally no one else. I feel numb lately.
December 29, 2025 at 10:37 PM
Probably not great that my only human interaction lately is my bosses & my husband & literally no one else. I feel numb lately.
I feel like just a few years ago it was very easy to find consensual NSFW RP groups & now EVERY group I see is like. "Safe space 🤗18+ NO MINORS toootally LGBT+ friendly (not)"
And like. Sure. But. Where are the so-called 'pervert' groups now. What if I do actually want monster feet or whatever.
And like. Sure. But. Where are the so-called 'pervert' groups now. What if I do actually want monster feet or whatever.
December 16, 2025 at 6:39 AM
I feel like just a few years ago it was very easy to find consensual NSFW RP groups & now EVERY group I see is like. "Safe space 🤗18+ NO MINORS toootally LGBT+ friendly (not)"
And like. Sure. But. Where are the so-called 'pervert' groups now. What if I do actually want monster feet or whatever.
And like. Sure. But. Where are the so-called 'pervert' groups now. What if I do actually want monster feet or whatever.
Good GOD I wish I had some family members who gave a shit about me & understood me.
oh well. 👽
oh well. 👽
December 10, 2025 at 2:07 AM
Good GOD I wish I had some family members who gave a shit about me & understood me.
oh well. 👽
oh well. 👽
Anyway. Do not fucking let me take her in. Slap me. Drive nails into my feet. Skin me. Do not let me.
December 10, 2025 at 2:02 AM
Anyway. Do not fucking let me take her in. Slap me. Drive nails into my feet. Skin me. Do not let me.
Boy, Apollo's dodgeball & all that. Should not have checked my FB. 🫠
Ok- I MIGHT be a little stressed out about my mom's BS because she always seems to call me on my birthday with some horrific bad news that ruins my whole week, like it's targeted at this point, I don't care what she says. She is going out of her way to hurt me with that.
December 10, 2025 at 1:49 AM
Boy, Apollo's dodgeball & all that. Should not have checked my FB. 🫠
As much as I found my uncle hard to deal with, he NEVER once hurt me in any way that I can remember. Ever. Never hurt my feelings. Never stole from me. Never hit me, or lied to me. He was 100% genuine with me for as long as I can remember.
December 10, 2025 at 1:39 AM
As much as I found my uncle hard to deal with, he NEVER once hurt me in any way that I can remember. Ever. Never hurt my feelings. Never stole from me. Never hit me, or lied to me. He was 100% genuine with me for as long as I can remember.
I am still fucking mad MAD at her about that night & waiting to tell me he was in the hospital again on my fucking birthday.
December 10, 2025 at 1:36 AM
I am still fucking mad MAD at her about that night & waiting to tell me he was in the hospital again on my fucking birthday.
I'll note, last time I heard about my uncle, she waited until my birthday to tell me that he had died 6 months beforehand, without any mention before. We were not especially close anymore, but I did not hate that man. He was just a lot to deal with, very autistic & very hurt by her & others.
December 10, 2025 at 1:36 AM
I'll note, last time I heard about my uncle, she waited until my birthday to tell me that he had died 6 months beforehand, without any mention before. We were not especially close anymore, but I did not hate that man. He was just a lot to deal with, very autistic & very hurt by her & others.
Though this does explain why literally yesterday I got a call from a bot asking to pay for the release of some sort of paperwork for my deceased uncle. It's probably about his ashes, because she mentioned that on FB. Great. I have no idea how this company would have found me to demand MONEY...
December 10, 2025 at 1:34 AM
Though this does explain why literally yesterday I got a call from a bot asking to pay for the release of some sort of paperwork for my deceased uncle. It's probably about his ashes, because she mentioned that on FB. Great. I have no idea how this company would have found me to demand MONEY...
I also KNOW she'd then invite her friends here any time I am not home, & they would go through shit & smoke & do shit here. I KNOW it. She has ZERO respect for me. She does not see it as a big deal to let strangers into your house have free reign of your things.
December 10, 2025 at 1:33 AM
I also KNOW she'd then invite her friends here any time I am not home, & they would go through shit & smoke & do shit here. I KNOW it. She has ZERO respect for me. She does not see it as a big deal to let strangers into your house have free reign of your things.
The only way I could ever let her around my things again would be to lock up every single thing I find precious, all the time, bolted to the floor, & keep that key around my neck like Davey Jones. I just cannot trust her at all anymore after she stole so much shit from ME & my husband, too.
December 10, 2025 at 1:31 AM
The only way I could ever let her around my things again would be to lock up every single thing I find precious, all the time, bolted to the floor, & keep that key around my neck like Davey Jones. I just cannot trust her at all anymore after she stole so much shit from ME & my husband, too.
Not to mention if she were to find out about my juice, she'd make it disappear. I know she would. Deep down in my soul I know she'd find a way to make it disappear & pretend like she knew nothing about it to gaslight me. I haven't told her for a reason. She can't HELP but snoop in drawers+cabinets.
December 10, 2025 at 1:30 AM
Not to mention if she were to find out about my juice, she'd make it disappear. I know she would. Deep down in my soul I know she'd find a way to make it disappear & pretend like she knew nothing about it to gaslight me. I haven't told her for a reason. She can't HELP but snoop in drawers+cabinets.
Tch, mom got kicked out of her house. Again. This is like the 8th time in the last 3 years & I am not exaggerating.
December 10, 2025 at 1:27 AM
Tch, mom got kicked out of her house. Again. This is like the 8th time in the last 3 years & I am not exaggerating.
Ok- I MIGHT be a little stressed out about my mom's BS because she always seems to call me on my birthday with some horrific bad news that ruins my whole week, like it's targeted at this point, I don't care what she says. She is going out of her way to hurt me with that.
December 10, 2025 at 12:34 AM
Ok- I MIGHT be a little stressed out about my mom's BS because she always seems to call me on my birthday with some horrific bad news that ruins my whole week, like it's targeted at this point, I don't care what she says. She is going out of her way to hurt me with that.
Then again I do badly want to do shit with people, & there's no helping that this is the Nobody To Do Shit With Season for me, so. Guess I'll die.
December 10, 2025 at 12:33 AM
Then again I do badly want to do shit with people, & there's no helping that this is the Nobody To Do Shit With Season for me, so. Guess I'll die.
Tempted to go back to F-list, but knowing me, I'm going to spend 4+ days fucking with HTML to make things look presentable & interesting again, only to get maybe ONE ping because my OCs are male-coded or one ping from someone who 100% did not read the profile & decides this is MY fault.
December 2, 2025 at 3:07 AM
Tempted to go back to F-list, but knowing me, I'm going to spend 4+ days fucking with HTML to make things look presentable & interesting again, only to get maybe ONE ping because my OCs are male-coded or one ping from someone who 100% did not read the profile & decides this is MY fault.
Jumpscared by 40+ notifications on my main lmfaooo.
December 1, 2025 at 9:24 PM
Jumpscared by 40+ notifications on my main lmfaooo.
God, I still need to design some horny dragon OC for things. Probably will never be able to find RP again, but god I can dream & go rabid in my little corner like a ragdoll.
December 1, 2025 at 4:59 AM
God, I still need to design some horny dragon OC for things. Probably will never be able to find RP again, but god I can dream & go rabid in my little corner like a ragdoll.
I wish my brain didn't freak out about talking to new people, but unfortunately I'm completely fucked from an incident a few years ago & now I feel like I'm actually secretly annoying everyone & should never talk again. Yay. I know that's not the case, but my chest pains say otherwise.
November 27, 2025 at 1:39 AM
I wish my brain didn't freak out about talking to new people, but unfortunately I'm completely fucked from an incident a few years ago & now I feel like I'm actually secretly annoying everyone & should never talk again. Yay. I know that's not the case, but my chest pains say otherwise.
God I wish I could just enjoy things but I feel like my brain is forever burned & fucked from going off meds against my will years ago, because I never used to feel this way about just fucking chilling or starting tasks to relax myself. Why do I feel stressed the fuck out over CHILLING?
November 25, 2025 at 1:59 AM
God I wish I could just enjoy things but I feel like my brain is forever burned & fucked from going off meds against my will years ago, because I never used to feel this way about just fucking chilling or starting tasks to relax myself. Why do I feel stressed the fuck out over CHILLING?
Reposted by Banana Hoard
I finally understand why parrots scream for no reason because that is exactly how I feel when I wanna socialize but I am incapable of forming any goddamn thoughts. Scream at wall.
May 15, 2025 at 2:14 AM
I finally understand why parrots scream for no reason because that is exactly how I feel when I wanna socialize but I am incapable of forming any goddamn thoughts. Scream at wall.
Laptop basically has died since it no longer can update, & until I can afford something that can maybe run linux, I'm fairly SOL. Friends should use my Discord, lol.
I do eventually want to try to wipe & salvage this thing, but not sure how yet without it 100% nuking my retro games.
I do eventually want to try to wipe & salvage this thing, but not sure how yet without it 100% nuking my retro games.
November 23, 2025 at 10:17 PM
Laptop basically has died since it no longer can update, & until I can afford something that can maybe run linux, I'm fairly SOL. Friends should use my Discord, lol.
I do eventually want to try to wipe & salvage this thing, but not sure how yet without it 100% nuking my retro games.
I do eventually want to try to wipe & salvage this thing, but not sure how yet without it 100% nuking my retro games.
I'm constantly reminded that I am just "one of the cool ones" when certain politics come up with people, & frankly it's getting pretty alarming that it keeps happening. Good thing I'm "one of the cool ones"... sure, I'm not AS filthy a LGBT because I'm "one of the cool ones"...
September 11, 2025 at 4:49 AM
I'm constantly reminded that I am just "one of the cool ones" when certain politics come up with people, & frankly it's getting pretty alarming that it keeps happening. Good thing I'm "one of the cool ones"... sure, I'm not AS filthy a LGBT because I'm "one of the cool ones"...