i let my son punch me in the head and i tell him the day you can kill me in one blow is the day you officially become a Teen

being an elder millennial is making sounds when you get up but not being sure if they're real or a bit

I don’t want my account to become a pure Ezra Klein hate account, and I don’t *hate* hate the guy, but I think at best he has allowed his genuine sense of inquiry to be hijacked for malign purposes like those ants with the brain fungus that makes them latch onto tall blades of grass to get eaten.

"sperm whale" is such a disrespectful name that whoever coined it should be exhumed and tried that thing is a living submarine that is the literal largest predator on earth has the largest teeth on earth can kill a man with a single word hunts the kraken with sonar for snacks & they named it nut

I always thought the Mayo Clinic was where white people went to reconnect with their culture and eat egg salad sandwiches.