Ash
@b69.bsky.social
Internet friend.
Various going-ons and so on and so forth and such.
Various going-ons and so on and so forth and such.
People who wear Hawaiian shirts have a higher power level.
August 24, 2024 at 3:20 AM
People who wear Hawaiian shirts have a higher power level.
I'm going to keep unlocking bananas the wrong way until somebody says something.
August 24, 2024 at 2:49 AM
I'm going to keep unlocking bananas the wrong way until somebody says something.
I'm pretty sure I got knocked down a few spots on the worldwide leaderboard when I gave myself diarrhea eating a bag of dried fruit.
August 23, 2024 at 11:17 PM
I'm pretty sure I got knocked down a few spots on the worldwide leaderboard when I gave myself diarrhea eating a bag of dried fruit.
Entering my birthday into WolframAlpha instead of keeping track of a number that changes every year.
August 23, 2024 at 10:35 PM
Entering my birthday into WolframAlpha instead of keeping track of a number that changes every year.
Reposted by Ash
This casserole is really just an excuse to eat cheese.
August 23, 2024 at 8:19 PM
This casserole is really just an excuse to eat cheese.
Something is wrong with my wireless headphones. They sound decent and the battery lasts too long. The Redditors all said cheap brand name headphones are bad. Did Reddit lie? I'm in despair. Where will I get reliable information if I can't trust the Reddit user with the most upvotes?
August 23, 2024 at 10:14 PM
Something is wrong with my wireless headphones. They sound decent and the battery lasts too long. The Redditors all said cheap brand name headphones are bad. Did Reddit lie? I'm in despair. Where will I get reliable information if I can't trust the Reddit user with the most upvotes?
Made of vegetables and lamb meat, in all likelihood.
August 23, 2024 at 10:01 PM
Made of vegetables and lamb meat, in all likelihood.
My hips are a large, cavernous space.
August 23, 2024 at 6:27 AM
My hips are a large, cavernous space.
I'm starting to suspect that the people who told of fairies and monsters long ago were too horny to realize that a rational person wouldn't go all awooga straight to a lone naked woman provocatively posing in a dark forest or on a rocky coastline.
August 23, 2024 at 4:27 AM
I'm starting to suspect that the people who told of fairies and monsters long ago were too horny to realize that a rational person wouldn't go all awooga straight to a lone naked woman provocatively posing in a dark forest or on a rocky coastline.
Reposted by Ash
When someone uses this ☺️ it means they just peed after holding it
August 22, 2024 at 6:18 PM
When someone uses this ☺️ it means they just peed after holding it
I've been practising modifying my sneezes. I can do a dainty sneeze or a jumpscare dad sneeze.
August 20, 2024 at 7:32 PM
I've been practising modifying my sneezes. I can do a dainty sneeze or a jumpscare dad sneeze.
When I play newgame+ I'll know all the rules.
August 20, 2024 at 5:14 AM
When I play newgame+ I'll know all the rules.
Thinking about setting boundaries with my physician. I don't ask about his health unprompted and he doesn't ask about mine.
August 20, 2024 at 3:50 AM
Thinking about setting boundaries with my physician. I don't ask about his health unprompted and he doesn't ask about mine.
One of these days I'm going to find myself in an 18th century operating theatre, immobilized while a clown pulls out my intestines and ties them into balloon animals. Mimes fill the room, manipulating non-existent instruments and making silent, shocked expressions.
August 19, 2024 at 10:04 PM
One of these days I'm going to find myself in an 18th century operating theatre, immobilized while a clown pulls out my intestines and ties them into balloon animals. Mimes fill the room, manipulating non-existent instruments and making silent, shocked expressions.
For the first time I recounted the decisions that led to my current situation, and I became afraid of my autonomy.
August 19, 2024 at 9:24 PM
For the first time I recounted the decisions that led to my current situation, and I became afraid of my autonomy.
There is something oddly alluring about consulting with yourself out loud before you go out.
August 19, 2024 at 9:17 PM
There is something oddly alluring about consulting with yourself out loud before you go out.
Pray that the metal plate bolted over your heart doesn't come loose. You wouldn't want anyone to see it laid bare.
August 19, 2024 at 4:02 PM
Pray that the metal plate bolted over your heart doesn't come loose. You wouldn't want anyone to see it laid bare.
Joyfully whistling down the aisles of the grocery store as fresh, anthropomorphized produce leap from the shelves straight into my cart.
August 18, 2024 at 6:38 PM
Joyfully whistling down the aisles of the grocery store as fresh, anthropomorphized produce leap from the shelves straight into my cart.
The primal experience of wielding a fork prongs-down in your fist as you stab holes into a potato before encaging it in the microwave. You watch through the window. It hisses and seeps a bubbling froth from its holes like a wounded cryptid. It's in your domain now, and its flesh is yours to consume.
August 18, 2024 at 4:56 PM
The primal experience of wielding a fork prongs-down in your fist as you stab holes into a potato before encaging it in the microwave. You watch through the window. It hisses and seeps a bubbling froth from its holes like a wounded cryptid. It's in your domain now, and its flesh is yours to consume.
Milk nourishes our cows and our bodies alike. As the first of four elements, it is essential to life.
August 18, 2024 at 4:43 PM
Milk nourishes our cows and our bodies alike. As the first of four elements, it is essential to life.
I need one of those big old iron door knockers with a ring around a scary face.
August 18, 2024 at 1:15 AM
I need one of those big old iron door knockers with a ring around a scary face.
Solar plexus clown glider. Now you're infected too.
August 18, 2024 at 12:00 AM
Solar plexus clown glider. Now you're infected too.