Azure Eye News
@azureeyenews.bsky.social
All the libel that's fit to print! The finest newspaper in the New Mexico Territory; serving the charming yokels and hucksters of Varmint Vale and the greater Colorado Plateau desert, and the various things that creep about the sands under the stars.
Ever since I read that I've always taken one step at a time because of a primal terror I can't ever fully articulate lol. The seeing thing is also definitely an issue though lol
December 7, 2025 at 1:55 PM
Ever since I read that I've always taken one step at a time because of a primal terror I can't ever fully articulate lol. The seeing thing is also definitely an issue though lol
I remember reading decades ago about a woman w/a similar condition where she was also well endowed & went down a particularly long flight of stairs & the repeated bouncing shocks caused the veins in her roots to get so damaged it caused internal hemorrhaging & I've been low-key terrified ever since.
December 7, 2025 at 9:53 AM
I remember reading decades ago about a woman w/a similar condition where she was also well endowed & went down a particularly long flight of stairs & the repeated bouncing shocks caused the veins in her roots to get so damaged it caused internal hemorrhaging & I've been low-key terrified ever since.
For the record it's FFXIV, and also I have sinterklaas candy.
December 7, 2025 at 12:35 AM
For the record it's FFXIV, and also I have sinterklaas candy.
Horses are terrifying and deadly creatures, Horse.
December 6, 2025 at 8:52 PM
Horses are terrifying and deadly creatures, Horse.
Its not my fault that animals remember showing your teeth is a threat display, and don't pretend it's a socially mandatory sign of friendliness.
December 6, 2025 at 8:51 PM
Its not my fault that animals remember showing your teeth is a threat display, and don't pretend it's a socially mandatory sign of friendliness.
A severely underrated banger of theirs. Plus the music video is incredible.
December 6, 2025 at 8:49 PM
A severely underrated banger of theirs. Plus the music video is incredible.
I am the autistic woman whose face always looks vaguely annoyed
December 6, 2025 at 6:13 PM
I am the autistic woman whose face always looks vaguely annoyed
I feel like the obvious solution is just to bribe him to do it, because that seems to work.
December 6, 2025 at 6:09 PM
I feel like the obvious solution is just to bribe him to do it, because that seems to work.
I believe they sell gift cards? I would assume you can apply the balance.
December 6, 2025 at 3:50 PM
I believe they sell gift cards? I would assume you can apply the balance.
CORRECTIONS: Azure Eye News would like to apologize for the actions of its rogue comic section archivist and editor Nancy the Catgirl, who errantly published an article claiming, among other things, that half-human-half-animals were not real.
December 6, 2025 at 2:09 AM
CORRECTIONS: Azure Eye News would like to apologize for the actions of its rogue comic section archivist and editor Nancy the Catgirl, who errantly published an article claiming, among other things, that half-human-half-animals were not real.
Ah, Wisconsin, where drunk driving is only a fine. Truly, the Alabama of the North.
December 6, 2025 at 2:03 AM
Ah, Wisconsin, where drunk driving is only a fine. Truly, the Alabama of the North.
That's just a whale doing a barrel roll. Not a misprint.
December 6, 2025 at 12:50 AM
That's just a whale doing a barrel roll. Not a misprint.
That IS a misprint, but it's the wrong one. Year is right, it's just "The York Times" and not the New York.
December 6, 2025 at 12:48 AM
That IS a misprint, but it's the wrong one. Year is right, it's just "The York Times" and not the New York.
(I literally cannot even begin to express how the moral of like every single fucking bit of genuine western folklore we have documented is basically "bankers, politicians, and other rich folk are the scum of the earth and should be physically barred from being around decent folk.")
December 6, 2025 at 12:10 AM
(I literally cannot even begin to express how the moral of like every single fucking bit of genuine western folklore we have documented is basically "bankers, politicians, and other rich folk are the scum of the earth and should be physically barred from being around decent folk.")
The most Old Western thing one can do is to hate every person what earned their money through any means but the sweat of their brow at an honest day's labour. Any man what earns money through tellin' honest cowpokes what to do, an' it is invariably a man, is a parasite upon the desert.
December 6, 2025 at 12:09 AM
The most Old Western thing one can do is to hate every person what earned their money through any means but the sweat of their brow at an honest day's labour. Any man what earns money through tellin' honest cowpokes what to do, an' it is invariably a man, is a parasite upon the desert.
Is that a model ship? That's awesome!
December 6, 2025 at 12:06 AM
Is that a model ship? That's awesome!
The difference was Scathach was at least pleasant to look at.
December 5, 2025 at 8:56 PM
The difference was Scathach was at least pleasant to look at.
The Garbage Ape will be so happy.
December 5, 2025 at 8:54 PM
The Garbage Ape will be so happy.
The simulation writers are getting funnier by the day
December 5, 2025 at 6:14 PM
The simulation writers are getting funnier by the day
Sheriff Danson's addin' it to yer list o' charges now, Horse.
December 5, 2025 at 3:49 PM
Sheriff Danson's addin' it to yer list o' charges now, Horse.
We can just paint Pixels' face and slap some falsies on him and see what happens
December 5, 2025 at 1:09 PM
We can just paint Pixels' face and slap some falsies on him and see what happens
Kefir. Helps digest lactose even for the lactose intolerant.
December 4, 2025 at 11:59 PM
Kefir. Helps digest lactose even for the lactose intolerant.