Azure Eye News
@azureeyenews.bsky.social
All the libel that's fit to print! The finest newspaper in the New Mexico Territory; serving the charming yokels and hucksters of Varmint Vale and the greater Colorado Plateau desert, and the various things that creep about the sands under the stars.
Dressing as Pavita Pechugona for Thanksgiving next year. Surely my mother-in-law will love that.
November 27, 2025 at 8:25 PM
Dressing as Pavita Pechugona for Thanksgiving next year. Surely my mother-in-law will love that.
The New Egyptian Century begins. Once more the civilized world will be ruled from Memphis.
November 27, 2025 at 3:56 AM
The New Egyptian Century begins. Once more the civilized world will be ruled from Memphis.
Literally what even
November 25, 2025 at 6:00 PM
Literally what even
And her nemesis, the Sluggalo.
November 22, 2025 at 9:46 PM
And her nemesis, the Sluggalo.
Wait so you're telling us you AREN'T the one who's been leaving these things in bathrooms all along Route 66? The same ones with the dismembered corpses? The rest stop strangler? The detour decapitator?
November 20, 2025 at 2:33 AM
Wait so you're telling us you AREN'T the one who's been leaving these things in bathrooms all along Route 66? The same ones with the dismembered corpses? The rest stop strangler? The detour decapitator?
Some gnomes just take and take what nature, in her wisdom, will not give.
November 18, 2025 at 9:59 PM
Some gnomes just take and take what nature, in her wisdom, will not give.
Reject modernity R E T V R N to tradition
November 4, 2025 at 12:26 AM
Reject modernity R E T V R N to tradition
As you turn to run, your brain catches on two details, both of them related to walls, because you're a weird architecture nerd.
1) The leftmost wall of the horror room is made of a different kind of brick- the same that were used to build the town square.
2) The far wall had this design inlaid:
1) The leftmost wall of the horror room is made of a different kind of brick- the same that were used to build the town square.
2) The far wall had this design inlaid:
October 29, 2025 at 1:50 PM
As you turn to run, your brain catches on two details, both of them related to walls, because you're a weird architecture nerd.
1) The leftmost wall of the horror room is made of a different kind of brick- the same that were used to build the town square.
2) The far wall had this design inlaid:
1) The leftmost wall of the horror room is made of a different kind of brick- the same that were used to build the town square.
2) The far wall had this design inlaid:
I cast Banish @pixelthegnome.bsky.social to the Dungeon of Doom
October 28, 2025 at 8:32 PM
I cast Banish @pixelthegnome.bsky.social to the Dungeon of Doom
You're about to search the gravedigger's cabin when you very, very distinctly here someone hollering "Hey, who the hell took my gravediggin' shovel?" from the other side of the building.
Shit. Time to skidaddle.
You run off towards ________
Shit. Time to skidaddle.
You run off towards ________
October 27, 2025 at 10:15 PM
You're about to search the gravedigger's cabin when you very, very distinctly here someone hollering "Hey, who the hell took my gravediggin' shovel?" from the other side of the building.
Shit. Time to skidaddle.
You run off towards ________
Shit. Time to skidaddle.
You run off towards ________
You pause to momentarily consider whether it would have made far, far more sense to go somewhere else. Somewhere new. But then you also consider that maybe the court-mandated therapist had a point about you having a fear of new experiences.
Maybe you should GO SOMEWHERE YOU HAVEN'T BEEN BEFORE.
Maybe you should GO SOMEWHERE YOU HAVEN'T BEEN BEFORE.
October 24, 2025 at 9:35 PM
You pause to momentarily consider whether it would have made far, far more sense to go somewhere else. Somewhere new. But then you also consider that maybe the court-mandated therapist had a point about you having a fear of new experiences.
Maybe you should GO SOMEWHERE YOU HAVEN'T BEEN BEFORE.
Maybe you should GO SOMEWHERE YOU HAVEN'T BEEN BEFORE.
Anyway, you really don't know what else to do here at the moment. There's a bunch of buildings right around you, though. Maybe you should check out one of them?
> GO _
> GO _
October 24, 2025 at 12:04 AM
Anyway, you really don't know what else to do here at the moment. There's a bunch of buildings right around you, though. Maybe you should check out one of them?
> GO _
> GO _
Map re-up for people too lazy to look back.
October 22, 2025 at 3:14 PM
Map re-up for people too lazy to look back.
Looking down at him, you notice that room is... weird. Someone's worked this design into the floor in black iron, with him chained into a bowl whose borders form the central circle.
"Incense," Ivan whispers, "Sulphur. Smoke and ash. And... the lack of cedarwood? Huh."
This is a bad place.
"Incense," Ivan whispers, "Sulphur. Smoke and ash. And... the lack of cedarwood? Huh."
This is a bad place.
October 22, 2025 at 2:54 PM
Looking down at him, you notice that room is... weird. Someone's worked this design into the floor in black iron, with him chained into a bowl whose borders form the central circle.
"Incense," Ivan whispers, "Sulphur. Smoke and ash. And... the lack of cedarwood? Huh."
This is a bad place.
"Incense," Ivan whispers, "Sulphur. Smoke and ash. And... the lack of cedarwood? Huh."
This is a bad place.
1) Solomon's Manor
2) Orobas' field
3) The Drunken Sea Serpent
4) The lighthouse
5) Huh. You swear you wrote 5. And yet it's gone? W e i r d.
6) Town square.
Anyway, this is your tiny, cursed world-oyster, and it is yours. Better get this herd a-movin', pardner.
> GO _
2) Orobas' field
3) The Drunken Sea Serpent
4) The lighthouse
5) Huh. You swear you wrote 5. And yet it's gone? W e i r d.
6) Town square.
Anyway, this is your tiny, cursed world-oyster, and it is yours. Better get this herd a-movin', pardner.
> GO _
October 20, 2025 at 10:01 PM
1) Solomon's Manor
2) Orobas' field
3) The Drunken Sea Serpent
4) The lighthouse
5) Huh. You swear you wrote 5. And yet it's gone? W e i r d.
6) Town square.
Anyway, this is your tiny, cursed world-oyster, and it is yours. Better get this herd a-movin', pardner.
> GO _
2) Orobas' field
3) The Drunken Sea Serpent
4) The lighthouse
5) Huh. You swear you wrote 5. And yet it's gone? W e i r d.
6) Town square.
Anyway, this is your tiny, cursed world-oyster, and it is yours. Better get this herd a-movin', pardner.
> GO _
300 people have started to pay their newspaper subscriptions! Wow, that's way more people than actually live in town, even including the Young clan!
October 18, 2025 at 12:18 AM
300 people have started to pay their newspaper subscriptions! Wow, that's way more people than actually live in town, even including the Young clan!
Put your hat back on, you gross gnome.
October 5, 2025 at 8:56 PM
Put your hat back on, you gross gnome.
EXTRA EXTRA, READ ALL ABOUT IT: As you pass through the timelessness of the fog between, you encounter Ratatoskr, the headless delivery squirrel for Azure Eye News.
"Sorry," he apologizes as he hands you your paper, "Got a bit lost in the fog."
This newspaper is from last MONTH. What?
"Sorry," he apologizes as he hands you your paper, "Got a bit lost in the fog."
This newspaper is from last MONTH. What?
October 1, 2025 at 7:41 PM
EXTRA EXTRA, READ ALL ABOUT IT: As you pass through the timelessness of the fog between, you encounter Ratatoskr, the headless delivery squirrel for Azure Eye News.
"Sorry," he apologizes as he hands you your paper, "Got a bit lost in the fog."
This newspaper is from last MONTH. What?
"Sorry," he apologizes as he hands you your paper, "Got a bit lost in the fog."
This newspaper is from last MONTH. What?
We see @bzvowell.bsky.social's wife voted for you as well.
October 1, 2025 at 2:57 PM
We see @bzvowell.bsky.social's wife voted for you as well.
Coyote Peterson's got one. Just need one more.
September 25, 2025 at 3:39 PM
Coyote Peterson's got one. Just need one more.
He's into letter boarding now.
September 20, 2025 at 8:36 PM
He's into letter boarding now.
Obviously it's Merle the Intern.
September 18, 2025 at 5:41 PM
Obviously it's Merle the Intern.