Azfang, Keeper of Animals ✅
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azfang.bsky.social
Azfang, Keeper of Animals ✅
@azfang.bsky.social
65 followers 120 following 500 posts
Pro frog. Anti nazi. Minder of animals that keep getting into my house and can’t take a hint to move on.

He/Him. Or whatever, really, if you feel like getting creative. It’s the internet and nobody knows I’m a dog.
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azfang.bsky.social
So fearsome.
Two large lumpy dogs snoozing on a bed. The yellow dog has her front leg draped lazily over the very ugly black dog.
November 25, 2025 at 3:02 PM
azfang.bsky.social
This pigeon is unimpressed by more exotic birds.
A bird flaring its wings, clumsily rotated and cropped so its wings are up, captioned “ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED” The eyes carry a subtle, undefinable spark of defiance.
September 25, 2025 at 2:54 PM
azfang.bsky.social
Might I present: the cheesiest pickup line I’ve ever seen.
A clumsily photoshopped image of pickup trucks lined up, each with a giant edge of cheese in the bed. I’m not sorry.
August 27, 2025 at 1:30 PM
azfang.bsky.social
I would but she keeps flopping around? And I’m pretty sure the cat is about to become enthusiastically stabby.
A black dog on a bed caught in mid flop, with her tummy up and tongue flailing out. She appears to be moving in every direction at once. A Siamese cat is being flopped in the face with her tail, and is clearly contemplating violence. A large yellow dog is curled up in the background, serenely unaware of the precarious nature of her peace.
March 28, 2025 at 2:15 AM
azfang.bsky.social
Sundrop is always to hand, and always willing to contribute his pink little nose.
An orange cat, leaning into a chin and scritch and towards the camera as his eyes droop in a deeply derpy expression of contentment. His snoot is pink.
December 29, 2024 at 12:55 PM
azfang.bsky.social
I…I want to contribute cute animals but all I can come up with are these misshapen things.

I’m so sorry. I tried my best.
A full sized bed with a gray cat loafing at the head while look grumpily at the camera. He is nestled into the tummy of a conked out black dog, who is in turn the little spoon to an equally conked out larger yellow dog. Additional cat toes are visible towards the foot of the bed. There is a conspicuous absence of anywhere a human could comfortably fit on this bed.
November 6, 2024 at 12:23 AM
azfang.bsky.social
Let’s do this.
A bottle of fairly expensive whiskey with an I VOTED sticker and a shot glass.
November 5, 2024 at 11:52 PM
azfang.bsky.social
Get bent, evolution.
A comic of a small green pepper happily announcing it has evolved a mild poison so people won’t eat it, only to be introduced to its offspring, selectively bred to be far more aggressively hazardous, by a human who eats it without breaking eye contact with the increasingly alarmed pepper.
November 2, 2024 at 2:02 AM
azfang.bsky.social
I’m like one of those old people at a slot machine mindlessly pushing the button. I’ve gotten two hits so far, and I can’t stop chasing that high.
A fundraising text from the Trump campaign, with a reply “When you die, no one will miss you.”
November 2, 2024 at 1:57 AM
azfang.bsky.social
A fellow medical professional! (I go to conventions and, when anyone makes eye contact, wordlessly reach into my bag to get a squeaky rubber duck to hand them.)
A slightly pudgy plague doctor standing in front of a door labels NO PHOTOGRAHY. H*ck the police.
November 1, 2024 at 2:08 AM
azfang.bsky.social
A disappointed looking clay bird declaring that we are straying from god.
November 1, 2024 at 1:58 AM
azfang.bsky.social
Mods are asleep post dog
A vertical tryptic of a large yellow dog lying on the back of a couch, followed by the same dog with a black bug eyed dog blurring into the frame, followed by a closeup of the black dog’s face coming at the camera.
October 29, 2024 at 1:56 PM
azfang.bsky.social
Pfft. Quitter.
The back of a closed laptop with a purity seal over the Dell logo. Behind it another seal can be seen on a printer.
October 26, 2024 at 6:28 PM
azfang.bsky.social
I mean…seals and sealing wax are surprisingly affordable, and you can get some that goes in a heat gun! And then double sided stickers so you can put them on things when no one is looking.
A sewing machine with a purity seal beseeching the favor of the Omnissiah. I’m not saying it runs better now, but I’m not not saying that.
October 26, 2024 at 6:12 PM
azfang.bsky.social
@golikehellmachine.com, I dunno if you’re a warhamster person but I 40K-ified the thing.
A collection of wax seals affixed to slips of paper on which is written: OUR FOE BELIEVES THEMSELVES THE TIDE, UNSTOPPABLE, INEVITABLE. BUT THEY ARE A WAVE, AND WE ARE THE ROCKS UPON WHICH THEY WILL SHATTER. LET THEM COME, IN THEIR HOWLING MULTITUDES, THEIR TAWDRY PANTOMIME OF STRENGTH. LET THEM CRASH UPON THE SHOALS OF OUR WILL. WE DO NOT BREAK BEFORE THEM. THEY BREAK UPON US.
October 26, 2024 at 4:43 PM
azfang.bsky.social
I dunno what the Venn diagram overlap is of people with sewing machines, an interest in 40k and the supplies for wax seals, but it’s at least one!

Anyway I put prayers to the Omnissiah on my sewing machine. With time honored incantations used by generations of technicians of unhappy equipment!
A red sewing machine decorated with a purity seal with the sigil of the Adeptus Mechanicus and a series of Latin supplications to the Machine Spirit.
October 1, 2024 at 5:42 PM
azfang.bsky.social
This is Molly! Who doesn’t actually appreciate her elephant but is too potato to care about her boss tucking it against here.
A yellow dog lying on a bed with a stuffed elephant looking at the camera with mild interest. A large yellow dog splayed across a bed lazily snoozing with a stuffed elephant tucked under her front leg.
September 20, 2024 at 4:33 PM
azfang.bsky.social
I memed your dog. I hope that’s okay. (But he has a very substantial expression!)
A yellow dog with a red bandana and an extremely dignified expression, captioned “PIP PIP, JOLLY GOOD” because he is a proper gentleman.
September 11, 2024 at 2:33 AM
azfang.bsky.social
Man I’ve been holding on to this picture for *years.*
A salt canister with the girl with um really replaced with a strutting, grinning blob thing, labeled “DIE MAD YOU SALTY BITCH”
September 11, 2024 at 2:28 AM
azfang.bsky.social
I ran into a Death Korpsman!
A Krieger and Cadian standing side by side with full masks. It’s pretty badass looking. A Cadian guardsman with full mask looking down at the camera with rifle over his shoulder.
September 5, 2024 at 11:02 PM
azfang.bsky.social
You’ve yee’d your last haw, pardner.
An elderly yellow dog on a couch wearing a black and red banana in his snout with a vaguely bemused look in his eyes.
September 2, 2024 at 2:51 AM
azfang.bsky.social
I feel like it depends on the dogs. I mean, look at these hideous things.
A goofy looking black dog lying with her tummy up on the bed with a semi-potato yellow dog resting her head on the black dog’s tummy.
August 21, 2024 at 12:53 AM
azfang.bsky.social
Thought for the day: Knowledge is power. Guard it well.
An Imperial Guardsman cosplay holding a laspistol. An Imperial Guardsman cosplay facing the viewer’s right, showing the Cadian Gate on his right shoulder. An Imperial Guardsman cosplay facing the viewer’s left, showing the platoon marker on his left shoulder.
August 15, 2024 at 11:28 PM
azfang.bsky.social
I gotchu.
An orange cat in a box labeled “BOX FOR UGLY IDIOTS WHO ARE ORANGE,” looking disdainfully at a box labeled “BOX FOR HANDSOME CATS”
August 6, 2024 at 5:50 PM
azfang.bsky.social
Inside you there are two potatoes.
A screencap of a local news station covering a potato who is quite happy looking. A potato with a scowling mouth below two eyes. He is displeased with you.
August 2, 2024 at 2:03 PM