𝓹𝓸𝓼𝓽𝓾𝓶 𝓪𝓮𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓷𝓾𝓶
@ayyeff.bsky.social
call me netflix the way my originals miss
stop making me read the news
November 13, 2024 at 4:17 PM
stop making me read the news
yeah babes hold on i just gotta suck on my queef-it a bit longer
July 22, 2023 at 3:38 PM
yeah babes hold on i just gotta suck on my queef-it a bit longer
manifesting my messianic complex by turning water (intrusive thoughts) into wine (posts)
July 19, 2023 at 6:46 PM
manifesting my messianic complex by turning water (intrusive thoughts) into wine (posts)
(sobbing)
i hate it here
(writes new post)
this sucks
(refreshes feed)
i’m miserable
i hate it here
(writes new post)
this sucks
(refreshes feed)
i’m miserable
July 19, 2023 at 5:59 PM
(sobbing)
i hate it here
(writes new post)
this sucks
(refreshes feed)
i’m miserable
i hate it here
(writes new post)
this sucks
(refreshes feed)
i’m miserable
Reposted by 𝓹𝓸𝓼𝓽𝓾𝓶 𝓪𝓮𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓷𝓾𝓶
This is the most Ferengi thing ever.
July 18, 2023 at 2:12 PM
This is the most Ferengi thing ever.
replying sincerely to each of my 9000+ unread marketing emails in hopes of killing the sender with kindness
July 17, 2023 at 9:54 PM
replying sincerely to each of my 9000+ unread marketing emails in hopes of killing the sender with kindness
Reposted by 𝓹𝓸𝓼𝓽𝓾𝓶 𝓪𝓮𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓷𝓾𝓶
maybe the hardest I've ever laughed
July 16, 2023 at 8:14 PM
maybe the hardest I've ever laughed
it’s ok to be weird
(does weird thing)
what, no
no no no
not that kind of weird
(does weird thing)
what, no
no no no
not that kind of weird
July 16, 2023 at 8:24 PM
it’s ok to be weird
(does weird thing)
what, no
no no no
not that kind of weird
(does weird thing)
what, no
no no no
not that kind of weird
(picking a hill to die on)
yes, liquid death is deeply uncool
but
have you considered that it tastes pretty good
yes, liquid death is deeply uncool
but
have you considered that it tastes pretty good
July 16, 2023 at 7:29 PM
(picking a hill to die on)
yes, liquid death is deeply uncool
but
have you considered that it tastes pretty good
yes, liquid death is deeply uncool
but
have you considered that it tastes pretty good
in england, boobs are simply referred to as “jiggly jugglies”
July 16, 2023 at 4:55 PM
in england, boobs are simply referred to as “jiggly jugglies”
wife called me cringe for wanting to get a bass pro bumper sticker
she’s not keeping up with the discourse
she’s not keeping up with the discourse
July 16, 2023 at 3:37 PM
wife called me cringe for wanting to get a bass pro bumper sticker
she’s not keeping up with the discourse
she’s not keeping up with the discourse
your honor, respectfully, i’m just not that cool
July 16, 2023 at 1:01 AM
your honor, respectfully, i’m just not that cool
really not a fan of feeling tired in the afternoon
too early to sleep, too late to nap
too early to sleep, too late to nap
July 16, 2023 at 12:46 AM
really not a fan of feeling tired in the afternoon
too early to sleep, too late to nap
too early to sleep, too late to nap
(waving a wand)
i’m sorry
i’m sorry?
i’m so… why isn’t this fucking thing working
i’m sorry
i’m sorry?
i’m so… why isn’t this fucking thing working
July 15, 2023 at 6:10 PM
(waving a wand)
i’m sorry
i’m sorry?
i’m so… why isn’t this fucking thing working
i’m sorry
i’m sorry?
i’m so… why isn’t this fucking thing working
frantically googling “how to take accountability” as i get covered in tomato splatter
July 15, 2023 at 5:08 PM
frantically googling “how to take accountability” as i get covered in tomato splatter
Reposted by 𝓹𝓸𝓼𝓽𝓾𝓶 𝓪𝓮𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓷𝓾𝓶
(at french seafood restaurant)
- how many tables do you serve a typical evening?
- uuh, i don’t know, uuh, pick your poisson?
sorry stupid math joke
- how many tables do you serve a typical evening?
- uuh, i don’t know, uuh, pick your poisson?
sorry stupid math joke
July 14, 2023 at 8:44 PM
(at french seafood restaurant)
- how many tables do you serve a typical evening?
- uuh, i don’t know, uuh, pick your poisson?
sorry stupid math joke
- how many tables do you serve a typical evening?
- uuh, i don’t know, uuh, pick your poisson?
sorry stupid math joke
roll up in the mako, that getting-ass effect
July 14, 2023 at 8:35 PM
roll up in the mako, that getting-ass effect
giving head in the fjords, call it a zuckerberg
giving head in a catholic church, call that a SuccuLent
giving head on public transit, call that a SuccuBus
July 13, 2023 at 12:39 AM
giving head in the fjords, call it a zuckerberg
(at french seafood restaurant)
- what’s good here?
- uuh, i don’t know, uuh, pick your poisson?
- what’s good here?
- uuh, i don’t know, uuh, pick your poisson?
July 12, 2023 at 10:38 PM
(at french seafood restaurant)
- what’s good here?
- uuh, i don’t know, uuh, pick your poisson?
- what’s good here?
- uuh, i don’t know, uuh, pick your poisson?
soy sauce
hola sauce, soy dad
hola sauce, soy dad
July 12, 2023 at 10:36 PM
soy sauce
hola sauce, soy dad
hola sauce, soy dad
- can i have a name for the order?
- hmm, yes, “post-nut peckish“, i suppose
- hmm, yes, “post-nut peckish“, i suppose
July 12, 2023 at 10:12 PM
- can i have a name for the order?
- hmm, yes, “post-nut peckish“, i suppose
- hmm, yes, “post-nut peckish“, i suppose
workshopping some baby boy names, need validation/advice
cleg
clegsy
cleemus
clort
cleg
clegsy
cleemus
clort
July 12, 2023 at 9:59 PM
workshopping some baby boy names, need validation/advice
cleg
clegsy
cleemus
clort
cleg
clegsy
cleemus
clort