I’m not saying the Brennans are broke, but my son is getting 4 coupons for “Free Back Rubs from Dad.” :)

This idiot must be the first President to screw up running a government before he even got into office.

My doctor told me that my problem making and keeping friends was because of an advanced condition called “my personality.” I told her I was going to ask for a second opinion and my wife blurted out, “She’s right.”

After the last week, I’m convinced American news would defend Old Man Potter from “It’s A Wonderful Life.”

Recommend unto me good books on the French Revolution.

Luigi Mangione’s manifesto does something truly groundbreaking in the genre: it is edited for brevity

I know the world has serious problems, but last night excepted, the Miami Heat are breaking my heart this season.

The first day of Sanguinalia, where I paint a Blood Angels army. Better photos soon, but that red! It’s the red I’be always wanted. #horusheresy #warhammer30k #bloodangels #paintingwarhammer

This begs the question, whose job was it in the Bible to measure a donkey’s emissions and compare it to a horse’s. “Can’t the genitals -and- emissions be those of a donkey?” “Oh, Simon, you poor, ignorant fool, you’ve clearly not been in a stable during rutting season.”

My children insist on calling our Thanksgiving turkey either “Tucker” or “Turkey Carlson” because since we started spatchcocking, “it’s spineless, just like the real Tucker Carlson.”

I was super excited about the Lion King prequel centering on Mufasa until somebody told me it’s about how the United States overthrew the democratically elected rhino and put Mufasa on the throne to protect western business interests.

That episode of DanDaDan sure was something! Very unexpected.