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armoredautist.bsky.social
The Armored Autist🏴🏳️‍⚧️🐋
@armoredautist.bsky.social
570 followers 210 following 640 posts
The anarchist AuDHD pangolin. Still a fan of orcas.

Pronouns change. Usually they/he.
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armoredautist.bsky.social
An image from the Simpsons. A man in a lab coat is standing behind a table. On the table is a small open door. The door is open and jammed with a bunch of plush toys. The toys represent illnesses. The joke is that Mr. Burns has so many diseases that they can’t out-compete one another so he appears to not be sick.
May 3, 2024 at 7:48 PM
armoredautist.bsky.social
Calm down
The Duolingo iPhone widget showing their owl mascot colored in lurid shades of red doing a Kubrick stare directly into the lens.
October 6, 2023 at 3:18 AM
armoredautist.bsky.social
Four stills of the Netflix show Cunk on Earth 1. (The hostess, Cunk) “ancient people invented money to make life on earth easier, but in doing so…” 2. (Cunk) “…they inadvertently invented capitalism, which is going to kill everyone.” 3. (The interviewee, a gray haired woman in a dark blouse, looks kind of angry off the right side of the screen, and says nothing) 4. (Cunk) “sorry, that’s not a question. It’s just something I read on Twitter.”
October 3, 2023 at 2:11 PM
armoredautist.bsky.social
Closed September with no real weight change, but body composition is heading the right way.
A chart showing my muscle, fat, and bone body composition over September. The summary at the bottom shows Muscle mass +7.5% Fat mass -7.8%
October 2, 2023 at 8:55 PM
armoredautist.bsky.social
I’m going to miss how hard this unit goes on strikes and protests.
A French duolingo conversation. The French reads Il y a eu beaucoup de blessés dans la manifestation d’hier. Oui, mais on se réunit demain pour une autre. The English translation is There were a lot of injuries at the protest yesterday. Yes, but we’re meeting tomorrow for another one.
September 26, 2023 at 3:22 AM
armoredautist.bsky.social
I don’t even know how to comment on sports in English.
A screenshot from duolingo showing a unit topic. Section 4, unit 24 Order at a restaurant, comment on sports
September 26, 2023 at 3:17 AM
armoredautist.bsky.social
This meal just cost me $78 at Guantanamo Bay. This is why Americans think the economy is terrible.
A photo of a McDonald’s double cheeseburger, French fries, and a glass of coke on a plain white background.
September 21, 2023 at 11:50 PM
armoredautist.bsky.social
The cover of The Book With No Pictures by B.J. Novak.
September 9, 2023 at 5:19 PM
armoredautist.bsky.social
Made some good progress this month. I tripled my exercise minutes two weeks ago and i guess it’s paying off.
August 31, 2023 at 11:19 PM
armoredautist.bsky.social
I saw some dogs on my walk this morning.
A line graph showing my average pace during my walk in a bright blue line. A shaded area underneath the line shows elevation. The X axis rages from zero minutes to almost 19 minutes. My pace is fairly consistent except for a dip around the four minute mark. That’s when I saw a couple of dogs and stopped to pet them.
August 23, 2023 at 1:23 PM
armoredautist.bsky.social
Let’s hear it for new habits.
A chart from the Apple Health app showing how many minutes I spent exercising throughout today (in orange) compared to my average (in gray). The orange line shows a large spike of around 25 minutes around 8AM and a second spike adding another nine minutes at 3PM for a total of 34 minutes. My average for this time of day is five minutes and the gray line tops out around 15 minutes.
August 22, 2023 at 8:12 PM
armoredautist.bsky.social
Me and the eggs, being men.
A shot from the Barbie movie of a bunch of Kens in all black. Ryan Gosling is dominating the shot while several pairs of Kens are helping each other to their feet in the background. He has bleach blond hair and is holding his hands in front of the center of his chest in the shape of a heart.
August 12, 2023 at 11:35 PM
armoredautist.bsky.social
I need to talk to the person who designed this set. I’m not going to hurt them, I just want to talk.
A hallway set from Star Trek Deep Space 9. A man is turning the far corner. The walls on the left have a weird bump out which protrudes into the hallway and the carpet design does something similar. The carpet is mainly blue, with a cream colored runner down the middle. The runner is offset along the section of wall which protrudes into the hallway. The result is that the runner stays in the apparent center of the width of the hall, but the change in position is jarring.
August 11, 2023 at 2:34 PM
armoredautist.bsky.social
The finished product
A glass 8x8 inch baking dish with pasta, mushrooms, chicken, and hickory sauce fresh out of the oven. A blue and white ceramic bowl with a serving of a pasta dish with mushrooms and chicken.
July 27, 2023 at 11:45 PM
armoredautist.bsky.social
Dinner time!
A steel wok full of thinly sliced mushrooms just beginning to cook. The same wok and mushrooms, only the mushrooms have cooked down significantly. Sliced up chicken breast seasoned and cooking in a steel wok. Pasta, cooked mushrooms and chicken breast, and an orange hickory sauce in a large pasta pot.
July 27, 2023 at 11:33 PM
armoredautist.bsky.social
I think this may be a very common card.
A stack of many copies of a single Magic: the Gathering card spread out to demonstrate how many there are. The card is named Leonin Den-Guard.
July 26, 2023 at 2:15 AM
armoredautist.bsky.social
I’m glad to see the shoe brands I grew up with are now aging with me.
A picture of a clothing store app showing a pair of Vans slip-on shoes in black. They look a lot like Crocs - one piece plastic and full of holes.
July 24, 2023 at 1:33 AM
armoredautist.bsky.social
A photo of the Pokémon Farfetch’d. It is an angry looking dusty brown bird with a pointed bill and webbed feet. It’s toting a very large leek over its right shoulder.
July 23, 2023 at 11:23 PM
armoredautist.bsky.social
It would make a lot more sense to me if more useful cards or at least cards with cool art had greater value. Rarity alone doesn’t make sense.

Metalworker has much higher potential for mama production and you can get more than one use out of it.
A screenshot of the Magic: the Gathering card, Metalworker, with set, language, and value information below it. Its retail value is $120
July 23, 2023 at 5:09 PM
armoredautist.bsky.social
I mean I’m sure there are The Reasons™️ but it always seems so arbitrary. I get that Black Lotus is rare, but it’s ability is similarly mid. Also, they cash in on nostalgia for this card so the recent reprint is valued at $2-6 thousand.
Four early editions of the Magic: the Gathering card Black Lotus. The lowest price is $2.02k white the highest is $160k.
July 23, 2023 at 5:00 PM
armoredautist.bsky.social
A great study that the economy is fake. This card is mediocre, from the art to what it does, but it’s consistently valued at over $400.
A screenshot of the Magic: the Gathering card, Lion’s Eye Diamond, taken in the catalog app ManaBox. The app values the card at $480 retail.
July 23, 2023 at 4:50 PM
armoredautist.bsky.social
The library is full of wonderful stuff.
Two pages from the children’s book “Worm Loves Worm”. On the left page are a brown beetle, blue striped spider, three bees, and a cricket in glasses with a haughty expression. Above the cricket reads "Wait!" says Cricket. "That isn't how it's always been done." On the right page are two worms. They’re both wearing wedding rings around their throats. The left worm is wearing a tuxedo jacket, bow tie, and bridal veil. The right is wearing a wedding dress and top hat with a pink hat band. Above them reads: "Then we'll just change how it's done," says Worm. "Yes." says Worm.
July 16, 2023 at 1:18 AM
armoredautist.bsky.social
Star Trek fact: Migleemo is the most competent officer to ever sit in the captain’s chair.
An animated bird-like humanoid, Dr. Migleemo from Star Trek Lower Decks. He has green feathers with darker green bushy eyebrows. He’s wearing square pince nez glasses over a short yellow beak. He’s dressed in a burgundy turtleneck under a casual brown blazer with the Starfleet delta on the right breast. He is seated.
July 13, 2023 at 12:50 AM
armoredautist.bsky.social
This is Abraham Lincoln if he moved to Seattle.
Freedom of Speech by Norman Rockwell depicts a man in a blue gingham shirt and sturdy jacket standing amid many seated people who are all looking to him. His expression seems vacant to me, like he’s about to speak but doesn’t remember what he means to say, and his face is like Abraham Lincoln without any facial hair.
July 11, 2023 at 4:57 AM
armoredautist.bsky.social
Oh you like Batman, nerd? Do yourself a favor and read Dark Knights: Metal. You’ll get more Batmanses than you bargained for. And thank @jamesthefourth.bsky.social
A panel from DC’s Dark Knights: The Batman Who Laughs #1 page 17. A slug white man clad all in black dominates the scene, blood dripping under a grotesque yellowed grin. He appears to be doing a tarot reading. His monologue reads: I think he understood on some level, the Joker. Not entirely, of course. He was too single-minded for that, but he saw the potential. He saw that the two of us were incomplete without the other. He knew that we needed to evolve into something new together. Something more. He used to call me a Bat King, ruling over my dark kingdom. And what is a king, really? It’s a powerful card. The highest valued face card in the deck. Not infallible, to be sure, but potent. And the joker card? On its own? It has no inherent value. It’s defined by what it’s played against. Dangerous in its potential more than anything. But if you hold the two together in a hand. They can hold nearly any value. They can shift and adapt to any threat they face. And so can I.
July 11, 2023 at 3:32 AM