Tachikoma Prime
@aquariumdrinker.com
Every new James Bond movie is like a movie set in the modern era about a lamplighter who keeps getting swept up in gas streetlamp-related shenanigans.
November 17, 2025 at 6:01 PM
Every new James Bond movie is like a movie set in the modern era about a lamplighter who keeps getting swept up in gas streetlamp-related shenanigans.
Clara Bow belonged to the 21st century and I don't think the early 20th even knew to be thankful for whatever temporal fuckup led to her being dumped in the ass-end of modernity.
November 14, 2025 at 7:22 PM
Clara Bow belonged to the 21st century and I don't think the early 20th even knew to be thankful for whatever temporal fuckup led to her being dumped in the ass-end of modernity.
No disrespect to Jack Black, but Carl Denham in 2005 King Kong is a complicated character, and I'm not sure Black was the right guy to unify his various aspects.
November 13, 2025 at 1:14 PM
No disrespect to Jack Black, but Carl Denham in 2005 King Kong is a complicated character, and I'm not sure Black was the right guy to unify his various aspects.
In retrospect, "look out honey cuz I'm using technology" is a very boomer thing to say.
November 12, 2025 at 10:40 PM
In retrospect, "look out honey cuz I'm using technology" is a very boomer thing to say.
Tired Dog is tired.
November 12, 2025 at 6:53 AM
Tired Dog is tired.
You look like the kind of person who assumes that if one national political party is clearly the bad guys then the other party must be the good guys. Chump.
November 10, 2025 at 9:51 PM
You look like the kind of person who assumes that if one national political party is clearly the bad guys then the other party must be the good guys. Chump.
Twilight Zone episode idea: submitted for your approval, a reality where there is a movie starring Barbara Harris and Jodie Foster and the movie has a chance to explore America's complex relationship with femininity, but it turns out that the movie is Freaky Friday.
November 8, 2025 at 2:41 PM
Twilight Zone episode idea: submitted for your approval, a reality where there is a movie starring Barbara Harris and Jodie Foster and the movie has a chance to explore America's complex relationship with femininity, but it turns out that the movie is Freaky Friday.
What? Oh, that's just Ray. Bustin makes him feel good
October 25, 2025 at 1:23 PM
What? Oh, that's just Ray. Bustin makes him feel good
To hell with Melania Trump, obviously. But also this East Wing nonsense seems very disrespectful towards her. Very out of character for her usually-doting husband.
October 23, 2025 at 12:19 PM
To hell with Melania Trump, obviously. But also this East Wing nonsense seems very disrespectful towards her. Very out of character for her usually-doting husband.
Imagine having a coffee machine that depends on AWS and then expecting sympathy when it's down. Or even just thinking you should publicly admit to any of it. Mind it boggles.
October 21, 2025 at 2:20 AM
Imagine having a coffee machine that depends on AWS and then expecting sympathy when it's down. Or even just thinking you should publicly admit to any of it. Mind it boggles.
What percentage of conversations between married people consists of "Is there something in my eye?"
October 20, 2025 at 2:13 PM
What percentage of conversations between married people consists of "Is there something in my eye?"
Going around Scotland, speaking English into my phone, then shoving it towards locals so they can hear the Scots Gaelic translation. Big old question mark on my face.
October 20, 2025 at 10:26 AM
Going around Scotland, speaking English into my phone, then shoving it towards locals so they can hear the Scots Gaelic translation. Big old question mark on my face.
Edinburgh, I tried to reach the bay by walking downhill from my High Street tourist cocktail bar. Dint work. Get your shit together, #Edinburgh
October 18, 2025 at 7:55 PM
Edinburgh, I tried to reach the bay by walking downhill from my High Street tourist cocktail bar. Dint work. Get your shit together, #Edinburgh
Note to self: Jack Back Session Cask Ale is good.
October 18, 2025 at 3:29 PM
Note to self: Jack Back Session Cask Ale is good.
Part of the reason why Sean Bean's characters' mid-movie deaths are so notable: Mr Bean #thebestmrbean brings a level of skill and depth often reserved for main characters.
October 18, 2025 at 8:58 AM
Part of the reason why Sean Bean's characters' mid-movie deaths are so notable: Mr Bean #thebestmrbean brings a level of skill and depth often reserved for main characters.
When jetlag says "please go back to bed, it's the middle of the night," adderall is there to disagree like a laconic and freakishly muscular Austrian with a shotgun.
October 18, 2025 at 8:21 AM
When jetlag says "please go back to bed, it's the middle of the night," adderall is there to disagree like a laconic and freakishly muscular Austrian with a shotgun.
This mobile ad better not awaken anything in me.
October 16, 2025 at 3:39 PM
This mobile ad better not awaken anything in me.
Reposted by Tachikoma Prime
Trump is going to create the antifa of his fantasies. At any given moment (say, right now), dozens of grifters are seeking ways to leverage legitimate anti fascist sentiment into a more organized form that gives the grifters power over people. Trump's nonsense is a real gift to those assholes.
October 10, 2025 at 2:26 PM
Trump is going to create the antifa of his fantasies. At any given moment (say, right now), dozens of grifters are seeking ways to leverage legitimate anti fascist sentiment into a more organized form that gives the grifters power over people. Trump's nonsense is a real gift to those assholes.
My dog: [shits a second time on a single walk]
Me: in this economy?
Everyone: [claps]
Me: in this economy?
Everyone: [claps]
October 9, 2025 at 6:06 AM
My dog: [shits a second time on a single walk]
Me: in this economy?
Everyone: [claps]
Me: in this economy?
Everyone: [claps]
Browsing bluesky, getting stressed out, thinking "I need to take a break and go to that site that doesn't stress me out" before I remember that bsky was the site that didn't stress me out. Now what
October 2, 2025 at 7:25 PM
Browsing bluesky, getting stressed out, thinking "I need to take a break and go to that site that doesn't stress me out" before I remember that bsky was the site that didn't stress me out. Now what
Spell your name with movie titles 📽️
Difficult mode accepted:
To Live and Die in L.A.
Aatma the Ghost
Call of Cthulhu
Hell Up In Harlem
Inglourious Basterds
Klute
Once Upon a Time In (take yer pick)
Miller's Crossing
Alphaville
Difficult mode accepted:
To Live and Die in L.A.
Aatma the Ghost
Call of Cthulhu
Hell Up In Harlem
Inglourious Basterds
Klute
Once Upon a Time In (take yer pick)
Miller's Crossing
Alphaville
Spell your name with movie titles 📽
Difficult mode: Only movies in my physical collection.
Desperado
Excision
Rabid Grannies
Escape from L.A.
Kikujiro
Step Brothers
Mallrats
Ice Age
Tampopo
Heavy Metal
Difficult mode: Only movies in my physical collection.
Desperado
Excision
Rabid Grannies
Escape from L.A.
Kikujiro
Step Brothers
Mallrats
Ice Age
Tampopo
Heavy Metal
Spell your name with movie titles 📽
Jigoku (1960)
One on Top of the Other (1969)
Solomon King (1974)
Ella Cinders (1926)
Possibly in Michigan (1983)
Hot Spring Shark Attack (2025)
Jigoku (1960)
One on Top of the Other (1969)
Solomon King (1974)
Ella Cinders (1926)
Possibly in Michigan (1983)
Hot Spring Shark Attack (2025)
October 1, 2025 at 4:26 PM
Spell your name with movie titles 📽️
Difficult mode accepted:
To Live and Die in L.A.
Aatma the Ghost
Call of Cthulhu
Hell Up In Harlem
Inglourious Basterds
Klute
Once Upon a Time In (take yer pick)
Miller's Crossing
Alphaville
Difficult mode accepted:
To Live and Die in L.A.
Aatma the Ghost
Call of Cthulhu
Hell Up In Harlem
Inglourious Basterds
Klute
Once Upon a Time In (take yer pick)
Miller's Crossing
Alphaville
I love in the movie "Sunset Blvd." when Gloria Swanson says "Please inform the director that I am prepared for a tightly-framed shot." I am not actually sure what we're doing here.
I love in the movie "The Godfather" when James Caan says "The offer I make will be hard to turn down."
I love in the movie "Tombstone" when Kurt Russell delivers the iconic line "Oh, you want huckleberries? Well perhaps I can oblige."
September 29, 2025 at 4:24 PM
I love in the movie "Sunset Blvd." when Gloria Swanson says "Please inform the director that I am prepared for a tightly-framed shot." I am not actually sure what we're doing here.
Joanne Dru's character in Red River isn't really in love with that cowboy. How could she be, she only just met him. She's only into him because he looks like the guy who played Cyclops.
September 27, 2025 at 7:22 PM
Joanne Dru's character in Red River isn't really in love with that cowboy. How could she be, she only just met him. She's only into him because he looks like the guy who played Cyclops.