April McLean
@aprilmclean.bsky.social
Only here for the dopamine.
Reposted by April McLean
Probably not a great sign that many of us are now clinging to Rilo Kiley as the one good thing about this fucking year, mere days into February.
February 5, 2025 at 7:43 PM
Probably not a great sign that many of us are now clinging to Rilo Kiley as the one good thing about this fucking year, mere days into February.
Reposted by April McLean
just fired my new therapist who wouldn't tell me who she voted for. if you're not willing to tell me you voted against a rapist racist nazi felon, you don't get to hear my trauma. long may you suffer
February 3, 2025 at 7:36 PM
just fired my new therapist who wouldn't tell me who she voted for. if you're not willing to tell me you voted against a rapist racist nazi felon, you don't get to hear my trauma. long may you suffer
Nobody:
This car: I’m Hey Arnold’s cousin,
This car: I’m Hey Arnold’s cousin,
January 29, 2025 at 11:05 PM
Nobody:
This car: I’m Hey Arnold’s cousin,
This car: I’m Hey Arnold’s cousin,
How do I tell someone there’s a difference between being a people pleaser, and a narcissist who just wants people to like them?
January 27, 2025 at 7:19 PM
How do I tell someone there’s a difference between being a people pleaser, and a narcissist who just wants people to like them?
Oh I get it… so Timothée Chalamet is the new Ryan Gosling.
January 27, 2025 at 12:25 AM
Oh I get it… so Timothée Chalamet is the new Ryan Gosling.
Edging joy by giving my cat 1000 tiny kisses smack dab in the middle of her little head.
January 26, 2025 at 11:09 PM
Edging joy by giving my cat 1000 tiny kisses smack dab in the middle of her little head.
If I can hear a guy’s British accent when he sings, I immediately skip the song. I don’t need that kind of weird flex in my life.
June 15, 2024 at 1:00 AM
If I can hear a guy’s British accent when he sings, I immediately skip the song. I don’t need that kind of weird flex in my life.
Today I’m oscillating between feeling melancholy and feeling grateful and THAT is girlhood in a neurotic li’l nutshell.
June 15, 2024 at 12:59 AM
Today I’m oscillating between feeling melancholy and feeling grateful and THAT is girlhood in a neurotic li’l nutshell.
Everything in the sky is a UFO when I don’t wear my glasses.
June 13, 2024 at 11:43 PM
Everything in the sky is a UFO when I don’t wear my glasses.
Reposted by April McLean
I saw my first Cybertruck today! As it blew through a stop sign with nary a pause. Yes, this actually happened. Yes, I heartily laughed. What's the rush there, champ? Is it gonna drizzle? 🤣
May 8, 2024 at 3:39 AM
I saw my first Cybertruck today! As it blew through a stop sign with nary a pause. Yes, this actually happened. Yes, I heartily laughed. What's the rush there, champ? Is it gonna drizzle? 🤣
Sitting in my car in the Target parking lot vaping my lungs out before going into work is my love language.
May 8, 2024 at 10:32 PM
Sitting in my car in the Target parking lot vaping my lungs out before going into work is my love language.
My biggest flex is that I get to work from home. That’s it. Nothing else special about me.
May 6, 2024 at 5:46 PM
My biggest flex is that I get to work from home. That’s it. Nothing else special about me.
Truly TRULY nothing better than canceling plans on a Sunday morning in order to fully Sunday the Sunday.
May 5, 2024 at 4:36 PM
Truly TRULY nothing better than canceling plans on a Sunday morning in order to fully Sunday the Sunday.
You might know this, but you WISH you were 33, living in your own little beach bungalow, isolating, painting your nails, and watching a heartfelt teen drama.
May 4, 2024 at 11:47 PM
You might know this, but you WISH you were 33, living in your own little beach bungalow, isolating, painting your nails, and watching a heartfelt teen drama.
I just canceled a date by lying and saying I had to babysit, but really, I just deep cleaned my house today and I wanna stay home and hangout in it. 🙃
May 4, 2024 at 9:47 PM
I just canceled a date by lying and saying I had to babysit, but really, I just deep cleaned my house today and I wanna stay home and hangout in it. 🙃
Tracy Chapman’s Grammy performance reminds me, at a cellular level, that there IS good in this world.
February 5, 2024 at 8:45 AM
Tracy Chapman’s Grammy performance reminds me, at a cellular level, that there IS good in this world.
Have Hatch chiles always been so trendy or is their marketing team just really investing this season?
August 14, 2023 at 4:33 AM
Have Hatch chiles always been so trendy or is their marketing team just really investing this season?
Going for a night drive.
I wanted to go for a walk, but I’m a woman. 
I wanted to go for a walk, but I’m a woman. 
August 4, 2023 at 5:07 AM
Going for a night drive.
I wanted to go for a walk, but I’m a woman. 
I wanted to go for a walk, but I’m a woman. 
Reposted by April McLean
The year is 2029. All the selfies you’ve posted have been fed into an AI to make deepfake slurry. You go to the one remaining theater in your city to see Fast and Furious 17. Every character is you. You receive your monthly residual statement via email. It’s just a gif of Bob Iger slowly jacking off
July 23, 2023 at 1:59 PM
The year is 2029. All the selfies you’ve posted have been fed into an AI to make deepfake slurry. You go to the one remaining theater in your city to see Fast and Furious 17. Every character is you. You receive your monthly residual statement via email. It’s just a gif of Bob Iger slowly jacking off
Greta Gerwig is the Lena Dunham we always wanted.
Lena Dunham promised, but Greta Gerwig delivered.
Lena Dunham promised, but Greta Gerwig delivered.
July 22, 2023 at 12:14 AM
Greta Gerwig is the Lena Dunham we always wanted.
Lena Dunham promised, but Greta Gerwig delivered.
Lena Dunham promised, but Greta Gerwig delivered.
Just spent the last 20 minutes creating a collage of mine and 2 of my friend’s birth charts, to more easily compare.
I love being a single, childless female in my 30s.
I love being a single, childless female in my 30s.
July 15, 2023 at 7:54 AM
Just spent the last 20 minutes creating a collage of mine and 2 of my friend’s birth charts, to more easily compare.
I love being a single, childless female in my 30s.
I love being a single, childless female in my 30s.
My toxic trait is believing that changing from one outfit to another will fix my bad mood.
July 14, 2023 at 1:48 AM
My toxic trait is believing that changing from one outfit to another will fix my bad mood.
I’m reliving my 2011 Twitter life here on Bluesky 🥹
(minus the raging alcoholism)
(minus the raging alcoholism)
July 13, 2023 at 6:32 PM
I’m reliving my 2011 Twitter life here on Bluesky 🥹
(minus the raging alcoholism)
(minus the raging alcoholism)
The level of euphoria I feel eating a single, folded tortilla chip is strange, and also, everything.
July 13, 2023 at 2:49 AM
The level of euphoria I feel eating a single, folded tortilla chip is strange, and also, everything.
My singing voice is like if my talking voice was a white person with no rhythm taking a hip hop class, but there’s no law that says I can’t still sing and play guitar.
Isn’t life amazing?
Isn’t life amazing?
July 11, 2023 at 6:03 PM
My singing voice is like if my talking voice was a white person with no rhythm taking a hip hop class, but there’s no law that says I can’t still sing and play guitar.
Isn’t life amazing?
Isn’t life amazing?