lauren ashley bishop
@sbellelauren.bsky.social
comedy writer. comedy performer. mother of all dogs
so the deep state was trump’s throat
November 14, 2025 at 9:40 PM
so the deep state was trump’s throat
maybe the east wing called him fat
October 23, 2025 at 11:56 AM
maybe the east wing called him fat
“wanna go 2 the protest tomorrow?” is the new “u up?”
October 17, 2025 at 12:02 PM
“wanna go 2 the protest tomorrow?” is the new “u up?”
it’s gonna be raining here in arkansas saturday so yeah you could say protesting this regime is gonna get me wet
October 16, 2025 at 12:27 PM
it’s gonna be raining here in arkansas saturday so yeah you could say protesting this regime is gonna get me wet
bet a lotta dads get “raptured” going out for cigarettes today
September 23, 2025 at 1:12 PM
bet a lotta dads get “raptured” going out for cigarettes today
happy rapture eve don’t forget to leave out a loaf of bread and a fish for jesus tonight
September 22, 2025 at 3:05 PM
happy rapture eve don’t forget to leave out a loaf of bread and a fish for jesus tonight
i know everything is scary but fat bear week is less than 2 weeks away just hold on everybody
September 11, 2025 at 6:08 PM
i know everything is scary but fat bear week is less than 2 weeks away just hold on everybody
imagine going home to your wife and telling her "today i piloted a jet over SA survivors speaking so no one could hear them honey!" like be so for real i would smack my husband
September 4, 2025 at 7:37 PM
imagine going home to your wife and telling her "today i piloted a jet over SA survivors speaking so no one could hear them honey!" like be so for real i would smack my husband
just heard the amazing news that florida just vaccinated itself against educated people
September 3, 2025 at 10:38 PM
just heard the amazing news that florida just vaccinated itself against educated people
he’s gonna die to distract us from the epstein files isn’t he
September 1, 2025 at 6:40 PM
he’s gonna die to distract us from the epstein files isn’t he
it’s not enough for him to resign i want to see the worm eat the rest of him
August 28, 2025 at 9:00 PM
it’s not enough for him to resign i want to see the worm eat the rest of him
is the 2nd amendment just for mass shooters now? i thought it was for guys who wanted to protect us from a tyrannical government but those guys are all sitting on their asses right now not doing fuck all so i’m just assuming
August 27, 2025 at 10:27 PM
is the 2nd amendment just for mass shooters now? i thought it was for guys who wanted to protect us from a tyrannical government but those guys are all sitting on their asses right now not doing fuck all so i’m just assuming
just fondly thinking about the national guard being deployed to chicago and how the wiener circle girls would absolutely END THEM
August 26, 2025 at 1:58 PM
just fondly thinking about the national guard being deployed to chicago and how the wiener circle girls would absolutely END THEM
i just cannot imagine giving even 30 seconds of my emotional energy to whatever cracker barrel is doing
August 25, 2025 at 6:22 PM
i just cannot imagine giving even 30 seconds of my emotional energy to whatever cracker barrel is doing
if you were the woman i just saw picking up a large pizza at 10am i just want you to know i support all of your decisions
August 20, 2025 at 4:58 PM
if you were the woman i just saw picking up a large pizza at 10am i just want you to know i support all of your decisions
good news no matter how drunk you get at bottomless mimosa brunch today you will not be as embarrassing as andrew cuomo was this weekend you are marked as safe
August 10, 2025 at 2:51 PM
good news no matter how drunk you get at bottomless mimosa brunch today you will not be as embarrassing as andrew cuomo was this weekend you are marked as safe
i would like to escape the timeline where “big balls” is trending
August 7, 2025 at 12:36 PM
i would like to escape the timeline where “big balls” is trending
democracy in peril?
SHINGLES DOESN'T CARE
SHINGLES DOESN'T CARE
August 6, 2025 at 12:35 PM
democracy in peril?
SHINGLES DOESN'T CARE
SHINGLES DOESN'T CARE
he’s on the roof, he’s on the epstein list, he’s on the combination roof and epstein list
August 5, 2025 at 9:42 PM
he’s on the roof, he’s on the epstein list, he’s on the combination roof and epstein list
my stepdad is so engrossed in watching golf he didn’t even notice my mom and i were discussing the names of dogs she’s going to get when he dies
August 5, 2025 at 10:11 AM
my stepdad is so engrossed in watching golf he didn’t even notice my mom and i were discussing the names of dogs she’s going to get when he dies
greg abbott is having a bad day therefore it is a good day
August 4, 2025 at 4:26 PM
greg abbott is having a bad day therefore it is a good day
shout out to swiffer i was so mad at your mop falling apart today and then i realized how refreshing it felt to be mad at something not republican
July 26, 2025 at 4:41 PM
shout out to swiffer i was so mad at your mop falling apart today and then i realized how refreshing it felt to be mad at something not republican
HE SAID WE WROTE THE EPSTEIN FILES
July 13, 2025 at 8:26 PM
HE SAID WE WROTE THE EPSTEIN FILES
news: ICE is sad
me: NOT ENOUGH
July 12, 2025 at 2:36 PM
news: ICE is sad
me: NOT ENOUGH
oh no seems like ken paxton’s marriage is bleeding out in a parking lot let me see if i can locate some sympathy hmm nope
July 11, 2025 at 2:38 PM
oh no seems like ken paxton’s marriage is bleeding out in a parking lot let me see if i can locate some sympathy hmm nope