There are definitely times where it's not worth the emotional labor, but in this case and many others, coming at something with curiosity instead of judgment can make all the difference. 8/8

THIS is the kind of interaction that I love, and also why I enjoy intimacy coaching. Giving food for thought to someone who thought for sure something was all Bad News™️ but ended up being receptive to further information and constructive criticism. 7/

in the end, I found the emotional labor worthwhile because while he was being reactive at first, I think I really helped him think more about his approach and what might be helpful to work on himself. 6/

the right place, he was just also rather inexperienced and undereducated on the endless variations of CNM, and which more common one(s) he'd be more compatible with. Finding out that there's a shorthand for what you're looking for can be so helpful!

Anyway, this got a little rambly, but 5/

angle that was unintentionally off-putting to anyone with more experience in CNM and kink.

In the end he eventually stopped responding (it did get late) but there were multiple times where I caught him taking a step back and thinking more critically about his approach. I believe his heart was in 4/

he kept dodging that question, but was complaining that almost nobody he ended up connecting with was someone who he felt he could "trust" to also practice polyamory/CNM. That they were all new to it.

To me, this definitely sounded like he was looking in the wrong places and coming at it from an 3/

he's gained some new perspective. A lot of times when I see someone villainizing an entire group, the problem is their perspective or how they're approaching dating in the first place.

I also asked where he was looking for dates, as I had not seen him at any alt-sex events locally. Unfortunately 2/

This is SUCH an important subject. I actually struggled with hypersexuality for a long time because I was so confused about my own identity, and relearning how to have a healthy relationship with my body instead of a self-destructive one took a very long time

I always love the camp I attend yearly on the east coast in the evening because the fireflies are SO ethereal! I wish we had them where I live in California

No, someone at camp recognized me from all of the pretty photos I post over on Fetlife and asked if I would be interested in him doing hair service for me. He did an EXCELLENT job (and while camping, no less!) and I made a wonderful new friend ☺️