As called by Stephen Nelson on Dodgers radio:

ARE YOU KIDDING ME

A WALK OFF GRAND SLAM IN GAME ONE OF THE WORLD SERIES

Black cats are not bad luck. If you see a black cat & something bad happens after, it's because you have bad vibes, dude. The worst vibes, pal. Rancid vibes, bro.

I love ermines so much. I want to raise ermine awareness.

Dear Diary,
I tested a new spell today.
"Brainflame"
My familiar is disposing of the bodies as we speak.

Sorry for the extended absence, I was in prison. Turns out liquefied federal agents is a 'crime.' They didn't let me out, they just didn't realize that scraping the walls with the constellations was a spell component, not a sign of madness.

Running out of "it is what is." Boutta start having to give a fuck.

Extracted the ketamine from the IRS agents, sold it to some Sleipnir veterinarians in exchange for catnip for my familiar.

Update: after a long and grueling shootout with the IRS' tax wizards, I finally won by transmuting all of the caffeine in their blood to ketamine.

The IRS keeps trying to tax my ethically-sourced, home-grown catboy milk, but I keep turning their agents into more tentacles to milk him with.

Today on "Things I Did to My Catboy", he was getting cranky because his dealer doesn't have the 'nip he likes, so I cast Major Inflate Prostate and locked him in a cell with my Greater Fisting Tentacles. Stuffing his poop chute with tentacles the size of his thigh shifted his mood for the better.

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300 character limit... beans is 5 characters

And again I say.
Beans

Beans