Angry Santa Elf
@angrysantaelf.bsky.social
Exactly why are we celebrating the holidays this year?
Every time a bell rings Santa got another worksite violation.
November 13, 2025 at 2:53 PM
Every time a bell rings Santa got another worksite violation.
Every Labubu doll comes with an agenda. Apparently. They're all cackling evil about something here.
November 2, 2025 at 5:54 PM
Every Labubu doll comes with an agenda. Apparently. They're all cackling evil about something here.
Everyone's getting the same gift this year. It's an eternal flame.
November 1, 2025 at 3:54 PM
Everyone's getting the same gift this year. It's an eternal flame.
December 31, 2024 at 3:58 PM
Still time to watch this, with Christmas tree lights reflecting on the screen.
December 28, 2024 at 9:24 PM
Still time to watch this, with Christmas tree lights reflecting on the screen.
Happy Hanukkah!
December 26, 2024 at 3:10 PM
Happy Hanukkah!
Merry Christmas!!!
December 25, 2024 at 1:17 PM
Merry Christmas!!!
Deleted Scenes from the "Star Wars Holiday Special"
December 25, 2024 at 1:30 AM
Deleted Scenes from the "Star Wars Holiday Special"
In Poland. Now we're zipping through Europe, dropping off gifts in each country at a lightening speed.
December 24, 2024 at 9:52 PM
In Poland. Now we're zipping through Europe, dropping off gifts in each country at a lightening speed.
Always trying to improve the process
December 24, 2024 at 6:57 PM
Always trying to improve the process
To Ethiopia. Some kids are asking what are those gold-like flakes that keep coming out of Santa's sleigh on NORAD Santa Tracker. That is nuclear waste from the sleigh's highly unstable engine. There is a reason NORAD is tracking us.
December 24, 2024 at 6:53 PM
To Ethiopia. Some kids are asking what are those gold-like flakes that keep coming out of Santa's sleigh on NORAD Santa Tracker. That is nuclear waste from the sleigh's highly unstable engine. There is a reason NORAD is tracking us.
Still in China. Meanwhile, at the North Pole...
December 24, 2024 at 3:04 PM
Still in China. Meanwhile, at the North Pole...
We're in Papua New Guinea as I try to catch up with every Christmas cartoon I haven't seen yet. Did you know there is actually a "Little Drummer Boy Book II"? Like "The Godfather Part II" half of it is a flashback to Sicily, the other about securing a casino license in Vegas.
December 24, 2024 at 1:28 PM
We're in Papua New Guinea as I try to catch up with every Christmas cartoon I haven't seen yet. Did you know there is actually a "Little Drummer Boy Book II"? Like "The Godfather Part II" half of it is a flashback to Sicily, the other about securing a casino license in Vegas.
THE CHRISTMAS EVE RIDE BEGINS! Okay, it began a few hours ago but Santa did a barrel roll and the toy sack wasn’t tied closed and the screams of a billion toys plummeting into the Arctic Ocean still haunts me. So to answer your question, Billy Age 6, yes, toys are alive. Or were.
December 24, 2024 at 12:25 PM
THE CHRISTMAS EVE RIDE BEGINS! Okay, it began a few hours ago but Santa did a barrel roll and the toy sack wasn’t tied closed and the screams of a billion toys plummeting into the Arctic Ocean still haunts me. So to answer your question, Billy Age 6, yes, toys are alive. Or were.
To everyone who asked Santa for a hippopotamus for Christmas, come the morning of the 25th your life as you know it will be gone forever, with only death and destruction your memories. Also, you each get an adorable adoption certificate.
December 24, 2024 at 2:46 AM
To everyone who asked Santa for a hippopotamus for Christmas, come the morning of the 25th your life as you know it will be gone forever, with only death and destruction your memories. Also, you each get an adorable adoption certificate.
What the f*** is Steve from Gift Tagging going on a plane?! Get your ass back here, Steve!
December 23, 2024 at 11:33 PM
What the f*** is Steve from Gift Tagging going on a plane?! Get your ass back here, Steve!
REMINDER: Tomorrow—CHRISTMAS EVE—I'll be live-tweeting Santa's ENTIRE ride, including the part when the Misfit Toys realize we just delivered them to another forgotten island halfway around the world.
December 23, 2024 at 10:29 PM
REMINDER: Tomorrow—CHRISTMAS EVE—I'll be live-tweeting Santa's ENTIRE ride, including the part when the Misfit Toys realize we just delivered them to another forgotten island halfway around the world.
A Right Jolly Old Elf #Santa #Christmas
December 22, 2024 at 10:31 PM
A Right Jolly Old Elf #Santa #Christmas
Santa's Pep Talk to His Staff: "It's two days to Christmas Eve. Children all around the world are counting on you. So remember—if you blow this, you'll take that failure to your graves. I'll be the one digging your graves."
December 22, 2024 at 4:31 PM
Santa's Pep Talk to His Staff: "It's two days to Christmas Eve. Children all around the world are counting on you. So remember—if you blow this, you'll take that failure to your graves. I'll be the one digging your graves."
Originally, Santa had us formally announce his arrival at every house with trumpet fanfare. Then when kids came in to see what was going on Santa would say, "Ha! I KNEW you weren't asleep!" Then just leave. We saved millions on presents that way.
December 21, 2024 at 10:07 PM
Originally, Santa had us formally announce his arrival at every house with trumpet fanfare. Then when kids came in to see what was going on Santa would say, "Ha! I KNEW you weren't asleep!" Then just leave. We saved millions on presents that way.
"The Year Without a Santa Claus" actually lasted 50 years as Santa faked Hansen's Disease. Mrs. Claus handled everything. We call that period "The Half Century Every Kid Actually Got the Right Present."
December 21, 2024 at 8:51 PM
"The Year Without a Santa Claus" actually lasted 50 years as Santa faked Hansen's Disease. Mrs. Claus handled everything. We call that period "The Half Century Every Kid Actually Got the Right Present."
Getting ready for the big Christmas Eve ride
December 21, 2024 at 3:35 PM
Getting ready for the big Christmas Eve ride
Happy Winter Solstice! Or as Santa calls it, "Oh f***, do I have to deliver gifts on this day, too?!" #WinterSolstice #FirstDayofWinter
December 21, 2024 at 1:40 PM
Happy Winter Solstice! Or as Santa calls it, "Oh f***, do I have to deliver gifts on this day, too?!" #WinterSolstice #FirstDayofWinter