Andre the Viking
@andre-the-viking.bsky.social
I have joined this app to use it as a platform to apologise for the behaviour of my Viking ancestors towards the good people of Northumbria in 865AD.
I’ve opened my daughters’ advent calendar. I’m going to be in a lot of trouble. I should probably go and wake her now and tell her the truth about Father Christmas. It’ll help take the edge of the whole ‘chocolate’ thing, in the morning. Parenting is tough.
November 24, 2025 at 11:39 PM
I’ve opened my daughters’ advent calendar. I’m going to be in a lot of trouble. I should probably go and wake her now and tell her the truth about Father Christmas. It’ll help take the edge of the whole ‘chocolate’ thing, in the morning. Parenting is tough.
Wish I knew how to access this.
November 14, 2025 at 10:05 PM
Wish I knew how to access this.
Pleased to announce that my new book “Where There’s Muck, There’s Brass - An Investigation Into The Use of French Horns in Pornography” will be available in hardback from all reputable booksellers this Monday!
November 14, 2025 at 10:04 PM
Pleased to announce that my new book “Where There’s Muck, There’s Brass - An Investigation Into The Use of French Horns in Pornography” will be available in hardback from all reputable booksellers this Monday!
I couldn’t resist adding a bit of Warhol
November 14, 2025 at 6:52 PM
I couldn’t resist adding a bit of Warhol
Since I joined Bluesky I feel I’ve been lacking in my duty to promote the beauty of my homeland, Norway. It is a truly majestic country and tourists are always welcome.
October 18, 2025 at 8:52 PM
Since I joined Bluesky I feel I’ve been lacking in my duty to promote the beauty of my homeland, Norway. It is a truly majestic country and tourists are always welcome.
Throwback to when my mum began the menopause.
October 18, 2025 at 8:31 PM
Throwback to when my mum began the menopause.
Great to hear they are touring again 🎶 That's neat, that's neat, that's neat, that's neat
I really love your tiger feet, I really love your #tigerfeet🎶
I really love your tiger feet, I really love your #tigerfeet🎶
September 29, 2025 at 8:22 PM
Great to hear they are touring again 🎶 That's neat, that's neat, that's neat, that's neat
I really love your tiger feet, I really love your #tigerfeet🎶
I really love your tiger feet, I really love your #tigerfeet🎶
My wife is in Sardinia and I’m fine about it.
September 26, 2025 at 5:41 PM
My wife is in Sardinia and I’m fine about it.
Asparagus, Croquette potatoes, Bearnaise sauce, steak and a Mars bar. Pretty sure all the food groups are represented.
September 12, 2025 at 10:38 PM
Asparagus, Croquette potatoes, Bearnaise sauce, steak and a Mars bar. Pretty sure all the food groups are represented.
Quote post with your own very dramatic (or otherwise) black and white selfie #ThisIsSparta #SorryIMeant #ThisIsOslo
September 6, 2025 at 9:53 PM
Quote post with your own very dramatic (or otherwise) black and white selfie #ThisIsSparta #SorryIMeant #ThisIsOslo
To all of you doubters who feel I have nothing to bring to BlueSky here is a photo of my cat explaining democracy to my dog.
August 30, 2025 at 10:23 PM
To all of you doubters who feel I have nothing to bring to BlueSky here is a photo of my cat explaining democracy to my dog.
A good boy and (white, fluffy) girl with attitude.
August 28, 2025 at 8:25 PM
A good boy and (white, fluffy) girl with attitude.
His mum and dad lived down the road from me. For 5 years. We knew when he visited because there’d be a limo outside. I think I saw him, once. In the kitchen. But his mum had short hair so could have been her. Saw his dad loads… mostly gardening.
July 26, 2025 at 10:41 PM
His mum and dad lived down the road from me. For 5 years. We knew when he visited because there’d be a limo outside. I think I saw him, once. In the kitchen. But his mum had short hair so could have been her. Saw his dad loads… mostly gardening.
You bitch! It’s obvious we have ‘stuff’ to work out. Come round this weekend and we’ll beat this thing off over a pizza.
July 26, 2025 at 12:27 AM
You bitch! It’s obvious we have ‘stuff’ to work out. Come round this weekend and we’ll beat this thing off over a pizza.
…this is a Norwegian teaspoon
July 23, 2025 at 10:08 PM
…this is a Norwegian teaspoon
…versus reality
July 23, 2025 at 8:30 PM
…versus reality
This is a Norwegian tablespoon…
July 23, 2025 at 8:26 PM
This is a Norwegian tablespoon…
This is a Norwegian tablespoon…
July 23, 2025 at 8:25 PM
This is a Norwegian tablespoon…
“Repost your most popular tweets on a different platform and instantly become a great success.”
July 23, 2025 at 8:21 PM
“Repost your most popular tweets on a different platform and instantly become a great success.”
I heard he never comes.
July 23, 2025 at 8:18 PM
I heard he never comes.
I see your mum hasn’t lost her entrepreneurial spirit.
July 23, 2025 at 8:17 PM
I see your mum hasn’t lost her entrepreneurial spirit.