45
i have turned from the fridge
cheese in hand
turned too quickly
unexpectedly
my body unused
to these strange motions involved
in carrying cheddar
no one has ever moved in
such a manner
how else to explain
why my knee
buckled
and my ankle twisted
as i tried to catch my balance?
#poem
i have turned from the fridge
cheese in hand
turned too quickly
unexpectedly
my body unused
to these strange motions involved
in carrying cheddar
no one has ever moved in
such a manner
how else to explain
why my knee
buckled
and my ankle twisted
as i tried to catch my balance?
#poem
February 1, 2026 at 11:15 PM
45
i have turned from the fridge
cheese in hand
turned too quickly
unexpectedly
my body unused
to these strange motions involved
in carrying cheddar
no one has ever moved in
such a manner
how else to explain
why my knee
buckled
and my ankle twisted
as i tried to catch my balance?
#poem
i have turned from the fridge
cheese in hand
turned too quickly
unexpectedly
my body unused
to these strange motions involved
in carrying cheddar
no one has ever moved in
such a manner
how else to explain
why my knee
buckled
and my ankle twisted
as i tried to catch my balance?
#poem
Reposted by AnAutumnLeaf
December 30, 2025 at 2:53 PM
every time i see video clips of Antarctica science stations in the winter, i realize that i was created for that but instead i have to live this whole other life
December 1, 2025 at 1:56 AM
every time i see video clips of Antarctica science stations in the winter, i realize that i was created for that but instead i have to live this whole other life
Detox: Coda
success, it turns out, is boring
and probably more tenuous than
it feels
nonetheless, it worked
so far
it is late Fall
cold air, dead leaves
you get it
not a time for rebirth, traditionally
and yet
i am restarting hobbies
texting friends
sleeping better
this is the work
#poem
success, it turns out, is boring
and probably more tenuous than
it feels
nonetheless, it worked
so far
it is late Fall
cold air, dead leaves
you get it
not a time for rebirth, traditionally
and yet
i am restarting hobbies
texting friends
sleeping better
this is the work
#poem
November 16, 2025 at 4:07 AM
Detox: Coda
success, it turns out, is boring
and probably more tenuous than
it feels
nonetheless, it worked
so far
it is late Fall
cold air, dead leaves
you get it
not a time for rebirth, traditionally
and yet
i am restarting hobbies
texting friends
sleeping better
this is the work
#poem
success, it turns out, is boring
and probably more tenuous than
it feels
nonetheless, it worked
so far
it is late Fall
cold air, dead leaves
you get it
not a time for rebirth, traditionally
and yet
i am restarting hobbies
texting friends
sleeping better
this is the work
#poem
Detox, Day 9: Thanatosis
this is the quiet part of the movie
we’re supposed to think
the monster is dead
but really it’s waiting for my guard to drop—for my sigh of relief—and then it shows up wearing my best friend’s face and asks me with his voice if i wanna have A Little Bit tonight?
#poem
this is the quiet part of the movie
we’re supposed to think
the monster is dead
but really it’s waiting for my guard to drop—for my sigh of relief—and then it shows up wearing my best friend’s face and asks me with his voice if i wanna have A Little Bit tonight?
#poem
September 17, 2025 at 3:21 AM
Detox, Day 9: Thanatosis
this is the quiet part of the movie
we’re supposed to think
the monster is dead
but really it’s waiting for my guard to drop—for my sigh of relief—and then it shows up wearing my best friend’s face and asks me with his voice if i wanna have A Little Bit tonight?
#poem
this is the quiet part of the movie
we’re supposed to think
the monster is dead
but really it’s waiting for my guard to drop—for my sigh of relief—and then it shows up wearing my best friend’s face and asks me with his voice if i wanna have A Little Bit tonight?
#poem
Detox, Day 8
quiet urges throughout the morning
phantom twinges of a limb already removed
a petulant ghost shuffling about inside my head
kicking doors, toppling chairs
smashing plates
i am exorcising you
let me show you to the door
no you can’t have One Last One for the road
just get out
#poem
quiet urges throughout the morning
phantom twinges of a limb already removed
a petulant ghost shuffling about inside my head
kicking doors, toppling chairs
smashing plates
i am exorcising you
let me show you to the door
no you can’t have One Last One for the road
just get out
#poem
September 15, 2025 at 4:04 PM
Detox, Day 8
quiet urges throughout the morning
phantom twinges of a limb already removed
a petulant ghost shuffling about inside my head
kicking doors, toppling chairs
smashing plates
i am exorcising you
let me show you to the door
no you can’t have One Last One for the road
just get out
#poem
quiet urges throughout the morning
phantom twinges of a limb already removed
a petulant ghost shuffling about inside my head
kicking doors, toppling chairs
smashing plates
i am exorcising you
let me show you to the door
no you can’t have One Last One for the road
just get out
#poem
Detox, Day 7: 8:21 pm
three hours before bed
no chores left
i’m halfway across the apartment before i realize where i’m headed
my hands outstretched
i snap out of it
a chill crystallizing my core
no cravings that time
i was already in motion
no warning at all
somewhere a demon cackles
#poem
three hours before bed
no chores left
i’m halfway across the apartment before i realize where i’m headed
my hands outstretched
i snap out of it
a chill crystallizing my core
no cravings that time
i was already in motion
no warning at all
somewhere a demon cackles
#poem
September 15, 2025 at 12:30 AM
Detox, Day 7: 8:21 pm
three hours before bed
no chores left
i’m halfway across the apartment before i realize where i’m headed
my hands outstretched
i snap out of it
a chill crystallizing my core
no cravings that time
i was already in motion
no warning at all
somewhere a demon cackles
#poem
three hours before bed
no chores left
i’m halfway across the apartment before i realize where i’m headed
my hands outstretched
i snap out of it
a chill crystallizing my core
no cravings that time
i was already in motion
no warning at all
somewhere a demon cackles
#poem
Detox, Day 7
cleaning my car: 2 hours
laundry: 2 hours
sitting on the couch staring at the place where It used to be: 2 hours
paying bills: 1 hour
grocery shopping: 1 hour
sitting, staring: 2 hours
i guess this is my “free” time now
it’s going great, i love it
that was sarcasm, btw
#poem
cleaning my car: 2 hours
laundry: 2 hours
sitting on the couch staring at the place where It used to be: 2 hours
paying bills: 1 hour
grocery shopping: 1 hour
sitting, staring: 2 hours
i guess this is my “free” time now
it’s going great, i love it
that was sarcasm, btw
#poem
September 14, 2025 at 5:11 PM
Detox, Day 7
cleaning my car: 2 hours
laundry: 2 hours
sitting on the couch staring at the place where It used to be: 2 hours
paying bills: 1 hour
grocery shopping: 1 hour
sitting, staring: 2 hours
i guess this is my “free” time now
it’s going great, i love it
that was sarcasm, btw
#poem
cleaning my car: 2 hours
laundry: 2 hours
sitting on the couch staring at the place where It used to be: 2 hours
paying bills: 1 hour
grocery shopping: 1 hour
sitting, staring: 2 hours
i guess this is my “free” time now
it’s going great, i love it
that was sarcasm, btw
#poem
Detox, Day 6
my new therapist
on his brown leather couch
talks with his stupid wrinkly mouth
about desensitization of reward circuits
about serotonin and dopamine
he does not say
that i can have A Little Bit
this unhelpful nerdy asshole
does not say
the only thing i want to hear
#poem #poetry
my new therapist
on his brown leather couch
talks with his stupid wrinkly mouth
about desensitization of reward circuits
about serotonin and dopamine
he does not say
that i can have A Little Bit
this unhelpful nerdy asshole
does not say
the only thing i want to hear
#poem #poetry
September 13, 2025 at 10:44 PM
Detox, Day 5: 9:26 pm
no one would know
it’s Friday night
please
remind me
what harm could come?
i do not remember
cannot perceive
but there is a wolf in the woods
a shark gliding under black water
a spider in whose web maybe already i am ensnared
danger, i whisper
there is danger here
#poem
no one would know
it’s Friday night
please
remind me
what harm could come?
i do not remember
cannot perceive
but there is a wolf in the woods
a shark gliding under black water
a spider in whose web maybe already i am ensnared
danger, i whisper
there is danger here
#poem
September 13, 2025 at 1:41 AM
Detox, Day 5: 9:26 pm
no one would know
it’s Friday night
please
remind me
what harm could come?
i do not remember
cannot perceive
but there is a wolf in the woods
a shark gliding under black water
a spider in whose web maybe already i am ensnared
danger, i whisper
there is danger here
#poem
no one would know
it’s Friday night
please
remind me
what harm could come?
i do not remember
cannot perceive
but there is a wolf in the woods
a shark gliding under black water
a spider in whose web maybe already i am ensnared
danger, i whisper
there is danger here
#poem
Detox, Day 5
fuck you
the flavor of today is Grannick’s bitter apple
nail polish on my tongue
a spoonful of baking soda
turpentine through a straw
i’m not grieving today
not sad or consumed with longing
i am angry and bitter and resentful
why can’t i just have
what
i
fucking
W A N T
#poem
fuck you
the flavor of today is Grannick’s bitter apple
nail polish on my tongue
a spoonful of baking soda
turpentine through a straw
i’m not grieving today
not sad or consumed with longing
i am angry and bitter and resentful
why can’t i just have
what
i
fucking
W A N T
#poem
September 12, 2025 at 9:17 PM
Detox, Day 5
fuck you
the flavor of today is Grannick’s bitter apple
nail polish on my tongue
a spoonful of baking soda
turpentine through a straw
i’m not grieving today
not sad or consumed with longing
i am angry and bitter and resentful
why can’t i just have
what
i
fucking
W A N T
#poem
fuck you
the flavor of today is Grannick’s bitter apple
nail polish on my tongue
a spoonful of baking soda
turpentine through a straw
i’m not grieving today
not sad or consumed with longing
i am angry and bitter and resentful
why can’t i just have
what
i
fucking
W A N T
#poem
Detox, Days 3-4
no screaming
silent or otherwise
no rage
boiling my stomach
streaming down my arms
buzzing out of clenched fists
just a quiet voice
the demon taking a new tack
whispering sweetly
that i’ve been good
i haven’t succumbed
surely i deserve a little reward
what harm could it do?
#poem
no screaming
silent or otherwise
no rage
boiling my stomach
streaming down my arms
buzzing out of clenched fists
just a quiet voice
the demon taking a new tack
whispering sweetly
that i’ve been good
i haven’t succumbed
surely i deserve a little reward
what harm could it do?
#poem
September 12, 2025 at 2:41 AM
Detox, Days 3-4
no screaming
silent or otherwise
no rage
boiling my stomach
streaming down my arms
buzzing out of clenched fists
just a quiet voice
the demon taking a new tack
whispering sweetly
that i’ve been good
i haven’t succumbed
surely i deserve a little reward
what harm could it do?
#poem
no screaming
silent or otherwise
no rage
boiling my stomach
streaming down my arms
buzzing out of clenched fists
just a quiet voice
the demon taking a new tack
whispering sweetly
that i’ve been good
i haven’t succumbed
surely i deserve a little reward
what harm could it do?
#poem
Detox, Day 2 (3?): 12:22 AM
making it to day three
seemed impossible at 7 pm
at 8
9
then midnight came—without laurels
after today’s struggle
i am not triumphant
only weary
i will celebrate in the morning
thank my past self for sticking it out
or, more likely, i will start to fight anew
#poem
making it to day three
seemed impossible at 7 pm
at 8
9
then midnight came—without laurels
after today’s struggle
i am not triumphant
only weary
i will celebrate in the morning
thank my past self for sticking it out
or, more likely, i will start to fight anew
#poem
September 10, 2025 at 4:33 AM
Detox, Day 2 (3?): 12:22 AM
making it to day three
seemed impossible at 7 pm
at 8
9
then midnight came—without laurels
after today’s struggle
i am not triumphant
only weary
i will celebrate in the morning
thank my past self for sticking it out
or, more likely, i will start to fight anew
#poem
making it to day three
seemed impossible at 7 pm
at 8
9
then midnight came—without laurels
after today’s struggle
i am not triumphant
only weary
i will celebrate in the morning
thank my past self for sticking it out
or, more likely, i will start to fight anew
#poem
Detox, Day 2: 7:19 pm
this is one of The Usual Times
and i am screaming
i am setting ghosts on fire
toppling skyscrapers with tsunami waves and hypersonic cruise missiles
exploding the fucking moon
i am shaking the bars of a cage and i don’t know if i am begging to be let in or let out
#poem
this is one of The Usual Times
and i am screaming
i am setting ghosts on fire
toppling skyscrapers with tsunami waves and hypersonic cruise missiles
exploding the fucking moon
i am shaking the bars of a cage and i don’t know if i am begging to be let in or let out
#poem
September 9, 2025 at 11:31 PM
Detox, Day 2: 7:19 pm
this is one of The Usual Times
and i am screaming
i am setting ghosts on fire
toppling skyscrapers with tsunami waves and hypersonic cruise missiles
exploding the fucking moon
i am shaking the bars of a cage and i don’t know if i am begging to be let in or let out
#poem
this is one of The Usual Times
and i am screaming
i am setting ghosts on fire
toppling skyscrapers with tsunami waves and hypersonic cruise missiles
exploding the fucking moon
i am shaking the bars of a cage and i don’t know if i am begging to be let in or let out
#poem
Detox, Day 2: 6:18 pm
i am looking forward
to when the kids are in bed
and the dinner dishes are clean
and i can have a little—oh
oh right
what do i do now
with this punch of grief
in the pit of my gut
longing
sad—empty
i swallow hard
past the lump in my throat
all this
over a poison
#poem
i am looking forward
to when the kids are in bed
and the dinner dishes are clean
and i can have a little—oh
oh right
what do i do now
with this punch of grief
in the pit of my gut
longing
sad—empty
i swallow hard
past the lump in my throat
all this
over a poison
#poem
September 9, 2025 at 10:27 PM
Detox, Day 2: 6:18 pm
i am looking forward
to when the kids are in bed
and the dinner dishes are clean
and i can have a little—oh
oh right
what do i do now
with this punch of grief
in the pit of my gut
longing
sad—empty
i swallow hard
past the lump in my throat
all this
over a poison
#poem
i am looking forward
to when the kids are in bed
and the dinner dishes are clean
and i can have a little—oh
oh right
what do i do now
with this punch of grief
in the pit of my gut
longing
sad—empty
i swallow hard
past the lump in my throat
all this
over a poison
#poem
Detox, Day 2: 1:16 pm
I haven’t thought about it
ok that is a lie
i have thought about it
in passing
the way i think about ice cream
a treat
something for later
and now i’ve remembered that there is no “later” for this, it is over
it must be
but what do i do
with this hole in me
#poem
I haven’t thought about it
ok that is a lie
i have thought about it
in passing
the way i think about ice cream
a treat
something for later
and now i’ve remembered that there is no “later” for this, it is over
it must be
but what do i do
with this hole in me
#poem
September 9, 2025 at 5:23 PM
Detox, Day 2: 1:16 pm
I haven’t thought about it
ok that is a lie
i have thought about it
in passing
the way i think about ice cream
a treat
something for later
and now i’ve remembered that there is no “later” for this, it is over
it must be
but what do i do
with this hole in me
#poem
I haven’t thought about it
ok that is a lie
i have thought about it
in passing
the way i think about ice cream
a treat
something for later
and now i’ve remembered that there is no “later” for this, it is over
it must be
but what do i do
with this hole in me
#poem
Detox, Day 1: Evening
i want
instead
i am building LEGO
a botanical set
a pink orchid in a pink vase
brick-by-brick-by-brick
i am building LEGO
i am building LEGO
i am building LEGO
#poem
i want
instead
i am building LEGO
a botanical set
a pink orchid in a pink vase
brick-by-brick-by-brick
i am building LEGO
i am building LEGO
i am building LEGO
#poem
September 9, 2025 at 2:13 AM
Detox, Day 1: Evening
i want
instead
i am building LEGO
a botanical set
a pink orchid in a pink vase
brick-by-brick-by-brick
i am building LEGO
i am building LEGO
i am building LEGO
#poem
i want
instead
i am building LEGO
a botanical set
a pink orchid in a pink vase
brick-by-brick-by-brick
i am building LEGO
i am building LEGO
i am building LEGO
#poem
Detox, Day 1: Morning
slicing apples for my son
occupying my hands
trying not to cut my fingers
occupying my mind
it whispers:
a little bit would be ok
start detox this afternoon
i have fought this argument
five times
since waking up
(it is 10 am)
and another five times
since starting this #poem
slicing apples for my son
occupying my hands
trying not to cut my fingers
occupying my mind
it whispers:
a little bit would be ok
start detox this afternoon
i have fought this argument
five times
since waking up
(it is 10 am)
and another five times
since starting this #poem
September 8, 2025 at 5:31 PM
Detox, Day 1: Morning
slicing apples for my son
occupying my hands
trying not to cut my fingers
occupying my mind
it whispers:
a little bit would be ok
start detox this afternoon
i have fought this argument
five times
since waking up
(it is 10 am)
and another five times
since starting this #poem
slicing apples for my son
occupying my hands
trying not to cut my fingers
occupying my mind
it whispers:
a little bit would be ok
start detox this afternoon
i have fought this argument
five times
since waking up
(it is 10 am)
and another five times
since starting this #poem
passing cars on the interstate a half-mile away make a quiet constant roar
overhead at 25,000 feet, an airplane’s engines are surely loud enough to deafen me
but i do not hear anything here, on the ground
i do hear the wind
rustling tree leaves
it is loud
it is wonderful
#poem #poetry
overhead at 25,000 feet, an airplane’s engines are surely loud enough to deafen me
but i do not hear anything here, on the ground
i do hear the wind
rustling tree leaves
it is loud
it is wonderful
#poem #poetry
August 27, 2025 at 12:53 PM
i search on the internet
to see if birds use their nests a
all the time
or just when raising their chicks
i want to know
if the nest outside the window
of my AirBnB
is also temporary housing
an AirBnB for new bird parents
the internet says: yes! for raising chicks!
#poem
to see if birds use their nests a
all the time
or just when raising their chicks
i want to know
if the nest outside the window
of my AirBnB
is also temporary housing
an AirBnB for new bird parents
the internet says: yes! for raising chicks!
#poem
August 17, 2025 at 8:53 PM
i search on the internet
to see if birds use their nests a
all the time
or just when raising their chicks
i want to know
if the nest outside the window
of my AirBnB
is also temporary housing
an AirBnB for new bird parents
the internet says: yes! for raising chicks!
#poem
to see if birds use their nests a
all the time
or just when raising their chicks
i want to know
if the nest outside the window
of my AirBnB
is also temporary housing
an AirBnB for new bird parents
the internet says: yes! for raising chicks!
#poem
Reposted by AnAutumnLeaf
Today’s mailbox visitors. My heart is so full. 🌱🦋📷
August 10, 2025 at 10:08 PM
Today’s mailbox visitors. My heart is so full. 🌱🦋📷
I don’t like it when movies leave their themes implicit instead of clearly stating what they’re about. Don’t keep it a secret! In the first scene, the main character should look directly at the camera and say “It’s a metaphor for grief or divorce or whatever” so we can appreciate the movie more.
August 11, 2025 at 7:16 PM
if real life had magic items like dungeons and dragons, then mirrors would cause +5 psychic damage to the viewer
August 10, 2025 at 8:01 PM
if real life had magic items like dungeons and dragons, then mirrors would cause +5 psychic damage to the viewer
what are we doing
i ask myself
i do not have a complete answer
we are watching the sun set
with our back turned to it
watching the way the sun
lights up these buildings
on its way out
that is what we are doing, right now
maybe we are lighting up others
on our way out
i ask myself
i do not have a complete answer
we are watching the sun set
with our back turned to it
watching the way the sun
lights up these buildings
on its way out
that is what we are doing, right now
maybe we are lighting up others
on our way out
July 14, 2025 at 12:04 AM
what are we doing
i ask myself
i do not have a complete answer
we are watching the sun set
with our back turned to it
watching the way the sun
lights up these buildings
on its way out
that is what we are doing, right now
maybe we are lighting up others
on our way out
i ask myself
i do not have a complete answer
we are watching the sun set
with our back turned to it
watching the way the sun
lights up these buildings
on its way out
that is what we are doing, right now
maybe we are lighting up others
on our way out