Robert Leponge
@robertleponge.bsky.social
Old fat sweary bloke
Love a mojito(s)
Uninfluencer
Love my chester draws
Former dental model (pre treatment shot)
Cheese🤮🤮
Live between France and Spain
International worst seller
Never shortlisted, no awards
Love a mojito(s)
Uninfluencer
Love my chester draws
Former dental model (pre treatment shot)
Cheese🤮🤮
Live between France and Spain
International worst seller
Never shortlisted, no awards
Pinned
I'd never realised that before publication, A Tale of Two Cities by Dickens had been serialised in two English provincial newspapers.
It was the Bicester Times
It was the Worcester Times.
It was the Bicester Times
It was the Worcester Times.
Last few years my kids have been great with my birthday wishes, both of them before midday.
This year, now mid afternoon, even Turkish Airlines have sent me a celebratory message, yet my kids ...... crickets.
Little (not so little) bastards.
This year, now mid afternoon, even Turkish Airlines have sent me a celebratory message, yet my kids ...... crickets.
Little (not so little) bastards.
December 31, 2025 at 3:56 PM
Last few years my kids have been great with my birthday wishes, both of them before midday.
This year, now mid afternoon, even Turkish Airlines have sent me a celebratory message, yet my kids ...... crickets.
Little (not so little) bastards.
This year, now mid afternoon, even Turkish Airlines have sent me a celebratory message, yet my kids ...... crickets.
Little (not so little) bastards.
On this anniversary of the day, many decades ago, my little nose first saw the light of day, I allow,myself to #dream.
Up to now, it's never been realised, but maybe this coming year, the thing I want more than any other, may happen.
(This is why it's called a dream).
#vss365
Up to now, it's never been realised, but maybe this coming year, the thing I want more than any other, may happen.
(This is why it's called a dream).
#vss365
December 31, 2025 at 8:42 AM
December 30, 2025 at 2:53 PM
Both sides bowled out on day 1?
I'm not sure that pitch is test match standard.
Apparently, head groundsman saying will be even harder to bat on tomorrow.
If I had day 3 tickets, I'd be looking for something else to do.
#Ashes
I'm not sure that pitch is test match standard.
Apparently, head groundsman saying will be even harder to bat on tomorrow.
If I had day 3 tickets, I'd be looking for something else to do.
#Ashes
December 26, 2025 at 7:34 AM
Both sides bowled out on day 1?
I'm not sure that pitch is test match standard.
Apparently, head groundsman saying will be even harder to bat on tomorrow.
If I had day 3 tickets, I'd be looking for something else to do.
#Ashes
I'm not sure that pitch is test match standard.
Apparently, head groundsman saying will be even harder to bat on tomorrow.
If I had day 3 tickets, I'd be looking for something else to do.
#Ashes
I don't remember the last time I had a white Christmas.
Seasons greetings to you all.
Seasons greetings to you all.
December 25, 2025 at 8:15 AM
I don't remember the last time I had a white Christmas.
Seasons greetings to you all.
Seasons greetings to you all.
I have a few words in a few languages and smile/cringe at the same time when I hear an English word used incorrectly.
Watching my grandkids playing footy, there's a dad who shouts #shoot when he means pass. I cringe because I know I make similar errors and smile because it's charming.
#vss365
Watching my grandkids playing footy, there's a dad who shouts #shoot when he means pass. I cringe because I know I make similar errors and smile because it's charming.
#vss365
December 24, 2025 at 9:36 AM
So, I'm not an opera fan. Never been my thing.
Tonight was spent at the Royal Opera House, watching a performance of #Turandot.
I've just got home, feeling slightly underwhelmed.
The building is beautiful, saw dresses more expensive than my house, but .... I didn't feel it.
Was just a bit meh
Tonight was spent at the Royal Opera House, watching a performance of #Turandot.
I've just got home, feeling slightly underwhelmed.
The building is beautiful, saw dresses more expensive than my house, but .... I didn't feel it.
Was just a bit meh
December 19, 2025 at 12:07 AM
So, I'm not an opera fan. Never been my thing.
Tonight was spent at the Royal Opera House, watching a performance of #Turandot.
I've just got home, feeling slightly underwhelmed.
The building is beautiful, saw dresses more expensive than my house, but .... I didn't feel it.
Was just a bit meh
Tonight was spent at the Royal Opera House, watching a performance of #Turandot.
I've just got home, feeling slightly underwhelmed.
The building is beautiful, saw dresses more expensive than my house, but .... I didn't feel it.
Was just a bit meh
I'm neither religious nor a fan of Christmas, but carol singers, in public, just lift my spirits.
Well done to those hardy souls in Charring Cross Station in London this evening.
Beautiful, and cheered this miserable old bastard.
Well done to those hardy souls in Charring Cross Station in London this evening.
Beautiful, and cheered this miserable old bastard.
December 18, 2025 at 8:30 PM
I'm neither religious nor a fan of Christmas, but carol singers, in public, just lift my spirits.
Well done to those hardy souls in Charring Cross Station in London this evening.
Beautiful, and cheered this miserable old bastard.
Well done to those hardy souls in Charring Cross Station in London this evening.
Beautiful, and cheered this miserable old bastard.
It's an 8 minute walk from my front door to the train station.
Opening my front door, the heavens opened.
It rained, no, it honked it down, for 7 minutes, 45 seconds.
Then stopped.
Behold my sodden troosers.
Opening my front door, the heavens opened.
It rained, no, it honked it down, for 7 minutes, 45 seconds.
Then stopped.
Behold my sodden troosers.
December 18, 2025 at 5:04 PM
It's an 8 minute walk from my front door to the train station.
Opening my front door, the heavens opened.
It rained, no, it honked it down, for 7 minutes, 45 seconds.
Then stopped.
Behold my sodden troosers.
Opening my front door, the heavens opened.
It rained, no, it honked it down, for 7 minutes, 45 seconds.
Then stopped.
Behold my sodden troosers.
Imagine being a dictator
Omnipotent
Grabbing women by the pussy
Because you're rich and self-entitled
Yet being so pathetically insecure and childish
That if someone said something nasty about you
5 years ago
That made your bottom lip wobble
You'd ban them from coming
Surely nobody like that exists
Omnipotent
Grabbing women by the pussy
Because you're rich and self-entitled
Yet being so pathetically insecure and childish
That if someone said something nasty about you
5 years ago
That made your bottom lip wobble
You'd ban them from coming
Surely nobody like that exists
December 13, 2025 at 3:45 PM
Imagine being a dictator
Omnipotent
Grabbing women by the pussy
Because you're rich and self-entitled
Yet being so pathetically insecure and childish
That if someone said something nasty about you
5 years ago
That made your bottom lip wobble
You'd ban them from coming
Surely nobody like that exists
Omnipotent
Grabbing women by the pussy
Because you're rich and self-entitled
Yet being so pathetically insecure and childish
That if someone said something nasty about you
5 years ago
That made your bottom lip wobble
You'd ban them from coming
Surely nobody like that exists
December 7, 2025 at 4:17 PM
Have we really become the: But Doris but Facebook said so" generation?
It baffles me why people will engage in nonsense social media posts (thus encouraging the lie), without even the most cursory fact check
Just read a palpably historically inaccurate post with many replies all praising the "hero."
It baffles me why people will engage in nonsense social media posts (thus encouraging the lie), without even the most cursory fact check
Just read a palpably historically inaccurate post with many replies all praising the "hero."
December 7, 2025 at 2:51 PM
Have we really become the: But Doris but Facebook said so" generation?
It baffles me why people will engage in nonsense social media posts (thus encouraging the lie), without even the most cursory fact check
Just read a palpably historically inaccurate post with many replies all praising the "hero."
It baffles me why people will engage in nonsense social media posts (thus encouraging the lie), without even the most cursory fact check
Just read a palpably historically inaccurate post with many replies all praising the "hero."
Thinking he looked #chic in his #magenta suit, he returned from the bar with drinks in hand
"The #augury tells me you won't be getting lucky tonight mate."
"What does that,mean? I'll be beating them off with a stick."
"Nah mate, the birds on that table all made vomiting signs as you passed!"
#vss365
"The #augury tells me you won't be getting lucky tonight mate."
"What does that,mean? I'll be beating them off with a stick."
"Nah mate, the birds on that table all made vomiting signs as you passed!"
#vss365
December 7, 2025 at 9:12 AM
I've just flushed my toilet with bottled water as the 7th richest country (we were, recently) in the world can't provide water to my house.
A rant:
I'm actually fine with things breaking and mistakes being made. It can be tiresome, but these things happen daily, worldwide.
1/?
A rant:
I'm actually fine with things breaking and mistakes being made. It can be tiresome, but these things happen daily, worldwide.
1/?
December 2, 2025 at 5:33 PM
I've just flushed my toilet with bottled water as the 7th richest country (we were, recently) in the world can't provide water to my house.
A rant:
I'm actually fine with things breaking and mistakes being made. It can be tiresome, but these things happen daily, worldwide.
1/?
A rant:
I'm actually fine with things breaking and mistakes being made. It can be tiresome, but these things happen daily, worldwide.
1/?
Top of the league.
I'll take it.
I'll take it.
November 23, 2025 at 6:24 PM
Top of the league.
I'll take it.
I'll take it.
The robin red breast, the red squirrel, the red fox are all, demonstrably orange.
Why do we say red?
The word orange to describe a colour didn't exist until 1502 in the English language, and all 3 beasts were already named.
You're welcome.
Why do we say red?
The word orange to describe a colour didn't exist until 1502 in the English language, and all 3 beasts were already named.
You're welcome.
November 23, 2025 at 6:23 PM
The robin red breast, the red squirrel, the red fox are all, demonstrably orange.
Why do we say red?
The word orange to describe a colour didn't exist until 1502 in the English language, and all 3 beasts were already named.
You're welcome.
Why do we say red?
The word orange to describe a colour didn't exist until 1502 in the English language, and all 3 beasts were already named.
You're welcome.
@poetstur.bsky.social Great strike Richarlison, wonderful goal.
November 23, 2025 at 5:46 PM
@poetstur.bsky.social Great strike Richarlison, wonderful goal.
After more than 50 years of watching football (played with feet, its in the name), I can confirm I no longer have a clue what constitutes a foul, handball or offside.
Game's gone.
Game's gone.
November 22, 2025 at 7:22 PM
After more than 50 years of watching football (played with feet, its in the name), I can confirm I no longer have a clue what constitutes a foul, handball or offside.
Game's gone.
Game's gone.
This will be only tweet about the C word until next month, but I got sent this, as I do every year, and laughed, as I do every year.
Carpe diem, and all that, I'll post it now, before I forget.
Carpe diem, and all that, I'll post it now, before I forget.
November 17, 2025 at 10:50 AM
This will be only tweet about the C word until next month, but I got sent this, as I do every year, and laughed, as I do every year.
Carpe diem, and all that, I'll post it now, before I forget.
Carpe diem, and all that, I'll post it now, before I forget.
As,we pass 10 years since the Bataclan attacks in Paris I'm reminded of the senseless slaughter in the offices of Charlie Hebdo in Jan 2015
Like many, I bought the first #issue put out after the deaths. They had to reprint, they sold so many
Freedom of expression CANNOT be cowed by terrorism
#vss365
Like many, I bought the first #issue put out after the deaths. They had to reprint, they sold so many
Freedom of expression CANNOT be cowed by terrorism
#vss365
November 16, 2025 at 4:13 PM
On THE parade, on Sunday
I saw a uniformed man
Bedecked with medals
#transport a wreath of poppies, our most sacred flower to a monument for the fallen
Yet, it didn't fit
His age
That medal
Uniform not quite right
Turns out
He's a fucking Walt
With a DSO, if you please
I fucking loathe them
#vss365
I saw a uniformed man
Bedecked with medals
#transport a wreath of poppies, our most sacred flower to a monument for the fallen
Yet, it didn't fit
His age
That medal
Uniform not quite right
Turns out
He's a fucking Walt
With a DSO, if you please
I fucking loathe them
#vss365
November 15, 2025 at 5:12 PM
On THE parade, on Sunday
I saw a uniformed man
Bedecked with medals
#transport a wreath of poppies, our most sacred flower to a monument for the fallen
Yet, it didn't fit
His age
That medal
Uniform not quite right
Turns out
He's a fucking Walt
With a DSO, if you please
I fucking loathe them
#vss365
I saw a uniformed man
Bedecked with medals
#transport a wreath of poppies, our most sacred flower to a monument for the fallen
Yet, it didn't fit
His age
That medal
Uniform not quite right
Turns out
He's a fucking Walt
With a DSO, if you please
I fucking loathe them
#vss365
This manifesting business
Load of arse
If something's going to happen, it'll happen
If it isn't, it won't.
No matter how much I think it.
And yet ...
I've just had a message
How very peculiar.
Load of arse
If something's going to happen, it'll happen
If it isn't, it won't.
No matter how much I think it.
And yet ...
I've just had a message
How very peculiar.
November 15, 2025 at 4:58 PM
This manifesting business
Load of arse
If something's going to happen, it'll happen
If it isn't, it won't.
No matter how much I think it.
And yet ...
I've just had a message
How very peculiar.
Load of arse
If something's going to happen, it'll happen
If it isn't, it won't.
No matter how much I think it.
And yet ...
I've just had a message
How very peculiar.
To absent friends.
November 11, 2025 at 4:05 PM
To absent friends.