POPE LEO #14 (satire)
@american-pope.bsky.social
POSTS ARE SATIRE AKA JOKES. A LOT OF PEOPLE DON'T KNOW I'M ACTUALLY THE FIRST AMERICAN POPE! GOD BELIEVES IN AMERICAN CONSERVATIVE VALUES!
Pinned
TRUMP'S ESCILATION IN THE WATER WARS WILL NOT GO UNNOTICED!
I AM HEARBY DECLARING THE PACIFIC OCEAN TO BE RENAMED TO THE GULF OF BETHLEHEM!!!!!
#MAKEOCEANSGREATAGAIN
I AM HEARBY DECLARING THE PACIFIC OCEAN TO BE RENAMED TO THE GULF OF BETHLEHEM!!!!!
#MAKEOCEANSGREATAGAIN
NOBODY GETS BIGGER CROWDS THAN ME!
May 31, 2025 at 11:03 AM
NOBODY GETS BIGGER CROWDS THAN ME!
WAIT.
SPEAKING IN TONGUES IS JUST GIBBERISH?!! BAPTISTS CANT ACTUALLY SPEAK LATIN?!!
THIS IS SUCH BS. I HAD TO GET A BUNCH GRAD SCHOOL DEBT TO WEAR THIS HAT!! I'M TELLING GOD ABOUT THIS!!!
#LATINX
SPEAKING IN TONGUES IS JUST GIBBERISH?!! BAPTISTS CANT ACTUALLY SPEAK LATIN?!!
THIS IS SUCH BS. I HAD TO GET A BUNCH GRAD SCHOOL DEBT TO WEAR THIS HAT!! I'M TELLING GOD ABOUT THIS!!!
#LATINX
May 21, 2025 at 3:01 PM
WAIT.
SPEAKING IN TONGUES IS JUST GIBBERISH?!! BAPTISTS CANT ACTUALLY SPEAK LATIN?!!
THIS IS SUCH BS. I HAD TO GET A BUNCH GRAD SCHOOL DEBT TO WEAR THIS HAT!! I'M TELLING GOD ABOUT THIS!!!
#LATINX
SPEAKING IN TONGUES IS JUST GIBBERISH?!! BAPTISTS CANT ACTUALLY SPEAK LATIN?!!
THIS IS SUCH BS. I HAD TO GET A BUNCH GRAD SCHOOL DEBT TO WEAR THIS HAT!! I'M TELLING GOD ABOUT THIS!!!
#LATINX
THE CRYING CARDINALS ARE SAYING I CHEATED IN THE CONCLAVE! I WON ALL 7 SWING CARDINALS IN THE TALENT ROUND. THEY ALL LOVED MY CARD TRICKS. THEY KNEW IT WASN'T REAL SOCERCERY. EVERYONE SAID IT WAS ALLOWED UNTIL I WON!!!
#STOPTHECONCLAVE
#STOPTHECONCLAVE
May 18, 2025 at 2:44 AM
THE CRYING CARDINALS ARE SAYING I CHEATED IN THE CONCLAVE! I WON ALL 7 SWING CARDINALS IN THE TALENT ROUND. THEY ALL LOVED MY CARD TRICKS. THEY KNEW IT WASN'T REAL SOCERCERY. EVERYONE SAID IT WAS ALLOWED UNTIL I WON!!!
#STOPTHECONCLAVE
#STOPTHECONCLAVE
May 17, 2025 at 3:26 AM
COMEY IS TRYING TO SAY ONLY I CAN RECEIVE BEACH MESSAGES FROM GOD!!!
May 16, 2025 at 3:19 PM
COMEY IS TRYING TO SAY ONLY I CAN RECEIVE BEACH MESSAGES FROM GOD!!!
Refinancing your home or Cathedral? God works in mysterious ways, but your bank doesn't have to. The Catholic Church is proudly sponsored by Bank of America. Talk to one of our Cardinals about our new RedCard(tm) for incredible summer savings.
May 15, 2025 at 8:20 PM
Refinancing your home or Cathedral? God works in mysterious ways, but your bank doesn't have to. The Catholic Church is proudly sponsored by Bank of America. Talk to one of our Cardinals about our new RedCard(tm) for incredible summer savings.
I HAD A PERFECT PHONE CALL WITH TIM ZELENSKY. NOTHING BAD HAPPENED. I ASKED IF HE WANTED TO SHARE NUCLEAR SECRETS IN CONFESSIONAL. (VERY CONFINDENTIAL) I ASKED IF HE WANTED TO INVESTIGATE RADICAL POPE FRANCIS! HE SAID HE WAS BUSY. BUSY BUSY ZELENSKI! I KNOW HOW THAT IS!!
Pope Leo XIV and Ukraine's President Zelenskyy spoke by phone recently, according to the Vatican.
Zelenskyy asks for Pope Leo XIV's help in bringing Ukrainian children home from Russia
Pope Leo XIV and Ukraine's President Zelenskyy spoke by phone recently, according to the Vatican.
www.npr.org
May 15, 2025 at 4:33 PM
I HAD A PERFECT PHONE CALL WITH TIM ZELENSKY. NOTHING BAD HAPPENED. I ASKED IF HE WANTED TO SHARE NUCLEAR SECRETS IN CONFESSIONAL. (VERY CONFINDENTIAL) I ASKED IF HE WANTED TO INVESTIGATE RADICAL POPE FRANCIS! HE SAID HE WAS BUSY. BUSY BUSY ZELENSKI! I KNOW HOW THAT IS!!
NOBODY LOVES CRYPTO MORE THAN ME!! MY COIN-QUISTADORS ARE MEETING WITH OPEC, CHINA, AND HOUSE HABSBURG TO DISCUSS MAKING #CHRISTCOIN THE NEXT GLOBAL RESERVE CURRENCY!!!!
#CATHOLISISM2.0
#CATHOLISISM2.0
May 14, 2025 at 4:17 PM
NOBODY LOVES CRYPTO MORE THAN ME!! MY COIN-QUISTADORS ARE MEETING WITH OPEC, CHINA, AND HOUSE HABSBURG TO DISCUSS MAKING #CHRISTCOIN THE NEXT GLOBAL RESERVE CURRENCY!!!!
#CATHOLISISM2.0
#CATHOLISISM2.0
THE VATICAN IS THE PALESTINE OF ITALY! WE ARE SECOND CLASS CITIZENS IN AN OPEN AIR PALACE!!!
#NVIDIA MUST END SANCTIONS ON THEIR AI CHIPS!! THE CATHOLIC CHURCH MUST BE AT THE FOREFRONT OF #AI SO WE CAN DETECT THE DEEP-CITYSTATE ITALIAN CYBER-CROOKS WHO ARE SABOTAGING OUR GREAT NATION FROM WITHIN!!!
#NVIDIA MUST END SANCTIONS ON THEIR AI CHIPS!! THE CATHOLIC CHURCH MUST BE AT THE FOREFRONT OF #AI SO WE CAN DETECT THE DEEP-CITYSTATE ITALIAN CYBER-CROOKS WHO ARE SABOTAGING OUR GREAT NATION FROM WITHIN!!!
May 14, 2025 at 3:59 PM
SO TRUE
Kids these days are praising the show ANDOR when they should be praising the father, the son, AND/OR the holy spirit
May 14, 2025 at 1:54 PM
SO TRUE
YOU KNOW WANDERIN' MOSES SPENT A LOOOT OF TIME IN THE DESERT! HE SAW SOME REAL WHACKY RELIGIONS. SOME REEEALLY GRAVEN IMAGES. "LOT OF GODS" HE SAID. "WHO NEEDS SO MANY GODS? YOU MIGHT BE HAPPIER WITH JUST ONE OR TWO..."
YOU CAN'T SAY STUFF LIKE THAT ANYMORE. ITS NOT POLITICALLY CORRECT THEY SAY...
YOU CAN'T SAY STUFF LIKE THAT ANYMORE. ITS NOT POLITICALLY CORRECT THEY SAY...
May 13, 2025 at 1:36 PM
YOU KNOW WANDERIN' MOSES SPENT A LOOOT OF TIME IN THE DESERT! HE SAW SOME REAL WHACKY RELIGIONS. SOME REEEALLY GRAVEN IMAGES. "LOT OF GODS" HE SAID. "WHO NEEDS SO MANY GODS? YOU MIGHT BE HAPPIER WITH JUST ONE OR TWO..."
YOU CAN'T SAY STUFF LIKE THAT ANYMORE. ITS NOT POLITICALLY CORRECT THEY SAY...
YOU CAN'T SAY STUFF LIKE THAT ANYMORE. ITS NOT POLITICALLY CORRECT THEY SAY...
I have been informed a terror attack that occurred yesterday. A man the height of an Iranian unloaded 8 ounces of toxic airhorn gas into a crowded church during Sunday Mass.
OUR SATELLITES WILL FIND THE ORIGINS OF THESE WEAPONS OF MASS DISRUPTION.
WE WILL BRING THE NATION THAT DID THIS TO JUSTICE.
OUR SATELLITES WILL FIND THE ORIGINS OF THESE WEAPONS OF MASS DISRUPTION.
WE WILL BRING THE NATION THAT DID THIS TO JUSTICE.
May 12, 2025 at 9:34 PM
I have been informed a terror attack that occurred yesterday. A man the height of an Iranian unloaded 8 ounces of toxic airhorn gas into a crowded church during Sunday Mass.
OUR SATELLITES WILL FIND THE ORIGINS OF THESE WEAPONS OF MASS DISRUPTION.
WE WILL BRING THE NATION THAT DID THIS TO JUSTICE.
OUR SATELLITES WILL FIND THE ORIGINS OF THESE WEAPONS OF MASS DISRUPTION.
WE WILL BRING THE NATION THAT DID THIS TO JUSTICE.
TRUMP'S ESCILATION IN THE WATER WARS WILL NOT GO UNNOTICED!
I AM HEARBY DECLARING THE PACIFIC OCEAN TO BE RENAMED TO THE GULF OF BETHLEHEM!!!!!
#MAKEOCEANSGREATAGAIN
I AM HEARBY DECLARING THE PACIFIC OCEAN TO BE RENAMED TO THE GULF OF BETHLEHEM!!!!!
#MAKEOCEANSGREATAGAIN
May 12, 2025 at 7:02 PM
TRUMP'S ESCILATION IN THE WATER WARS WILL NOT GO UNNOTICED!
I AM HEARBY DECLARING THE PACIFIC OCEAN TO BE RENAMED TO THE GULF OF BETHLEHEM!!!!!
#MAKEOCEANSGREATAGAIN
I AM HEARBY DECLARING THE PACIFIC OCEAN TO BE RENAMED TO THE GULF OF BETHLEHEM!!!!!
#MAKEOCEANSGREATAGAIN
I HAVE JUST BEEN INFORMED THE CATHOLIC CHURCH HAS BEEN INVOLVED IN SEVERAL "CHILD ABUSE" SCANDALS. GOD IS HEARING ABOUT THIS NOW FOR THE FIRST TIME. HE'S VERY UPSET. NOT GOOD. THIS IS POPE FRANCIS'S ECONOMY.
May 12, 2025 at 5:22 PM
I HAVE JUST BEEN INFORMED THE CATHOLIC CHURCH HAS BEEN INVOLVED IN SEVERAL "CHILD ABUSE" SCANDALS. GOD IS HEARING ABOUT THIS NOW FOR THE FIRST TIME. HE'S VERY UPSET. NOT GOOD. THIS IS POPE FRANCIS'S ECONOMY.
THE VATICAN WILL SOON CONTROL ALL OF THE SHAPES OF POWER, INCLUDING: THE PENTAGON, THE GIZA PYRAMID, THE VEGAS SPHERE, AND THE TESSERACT FROM THE ABRAHAMIC CINEMATIC LEVANT UNIVERSE!
#ACLU
#SHAPES
#VEGASSPHERE
#ACLU
#SHAPES
#VEGASSPHERE
May 12, 2025 at 5:08 PM
THE VATICAN WILL SOON CONTROL ALL OF THE SHAPES OF POWER, INCLUDING: THE PENTAGON, THE GIZA PYRAMID, THE VEGAS SPHERE, AND THE TESSERACT FROM THE ABRAHAMIC CINEMATIC LEVANT UNIVERSE!
#ACLU
#SHAPES
#VEGASSPHERE
#ACLU
#SHAPES
#VEGASSPHERE
THE VATICAN UNDERSTANDS TRADE NEGOTIATION. WE ARE PREPARED TO GIVE TRUMP AN EVEN GOLDER PLANE IN EXCHANGE FOR 30 TONS OF URANIUM HEXAFLOURIDE.
#MAKETHEVATICANSAFEAGAIN
#QATAR
#AIRFORCEONE
#MAKETHEVATICANSAFEAGAIN
#QATAR
#AIRFORCEONE
May 12, 2025 at 2:25 PM
THE VATICAN UNDERSTANDS TRADE NEGOTIATION. WE ARE PREPARED TO GIVE TRUMP AN EVEN GOLDER PLANE IN EXCHANGE FOR 30 TONS OF URANIUM HEXAFLOURIDE.
#MAKETHEVATICANSAFEAGAIN
#QATAR
#AIRFORCEONE
#MAKETHEVATICANSAFEAGAIN
#QATAR
#AIRFORCEONE
FOR TOO LONG HAVE CATHOLICS HAD TO SUFFER UNDER TWO RESTRICTIVE COMMUNION STYLES. (CLASSIC AND NACHO CHEESE)
THIS SUMMER WE ARE ADDING: ITALIAN, CHICAGO, AND CAJUN STYLES TO THE MENU.
WE ARE ALSO BRINGING BACK REAL BONES!!!!
#BUY1GET1COMMUNIONBONUSSHOTS
THIS SUMMER WE ARE ADDING: ITALIAN, CHICAGO, AND CAJUN STYLES TO THE MENU.
WE ARE ALSO BRINGING BACK REAL BONES!!!!
#BUY1GET1COMMUNIONBONUSSHOTS
The revelation that Pope Leo XIV has roots among New Orleans Creoles has stirred curiosity about the first pope from the U.S., and enthralled people who share his heritage.
Pope’s Family History Offers a Glimpse Into the American Creole Journey
www.nytimes.com
May 11, 2025 at 9:14 PM
FOR TOO LONG HAVE CATHOLICS HAD TO SUFFER UNDER TWO RESTRICTIVE COMMUNION STYLES. (CLASSIC AND NACHO CHEESE)
THIS SUMMER WE ARE ADDING: ITALIAN, CHICAGO, AND CAJUN STYLES TO THE MENU.
WE ARE ALSO BRINGING BACK REAL BONES!!!!
#BUY1GET1COMMUNIONBONUSSHOTS
THIS SUMMER WE ARE ADDING: ITALIAN, CHICAGO, AND CAJUN STYLES TO THE MENU.
WE ARE ALSO BRINGING BACK REAL BONES!!!!
#BUY1GET1COMMUNIONBONUSSHOTS
INCREDIBLE NEWS. WE ARE SAVING SO MUCH MONEY IN HEAVEN, WE ARE WORKING ON A NEW BILL THAT WILL MAKE ASTROLOGY REAL FOR LEOS.
#LEO
#ASTROLOGY
#MAKEASTROLOGYCATHOLICAGAIN
#LEO
#ASTROLOGY
#MAKEASTROLOGYCATHOLICAGAIN
May 11, 2025 at 8:57 PM
INCREDIBLE NEWS. WE ARE SAVING SO MUCH MONEY IN HEAVEN, WE ARE WORKING ON A NEW BILL THAT WILL MAKE ASTROLOGY REAL FOR LEOS.
#LEO
#ASTROLOGY
#MAKEASTROLOGYCATHOLICAGAIN
#LEO
#ASTROLOGY
#MAKEASTROLOGYCATHOLICAGAIN
HAPPY MOTHERS DAY ESPECIALLY TO THE TREMENDOUS VIRGIN MARY.
THE HOLY GHOST SAW HER AND SAID WOW WHAT AN INCREDIBLE MOTHER SHE COULD RAISE MY CORPOREAL FORM SO WELL. AMAZING GUY THE HOLY GHOST. JOSEPH IS... NOT SO HAPPY. PROCRASTINATIN' JOSEPH COULDN'T EVEN GET A ROOM AT THE INN. SAD!
#MOTHERSDAY
THE HOLY GHOST SAW HER AND SAID WOW WHAT AN INCREDIBLE MOTHER SHE COULD RAISE MY CORPOREAL FORM SO WELL. AMAZING GUY THE HOLY GHOST. JOSEPH IS... NOT SO HAPPY. PROCRASTINATIN' JOSEPH COULDN'T EVEN GET A ROOM AT THE INN. SAD!
#MOTHERSDAY
May 11, 2025 at 5:10 PM
HAPPY MOTHERS DAY ESPECIALLY TO THE TREMENDOUS VIRGIN MARY.
THE HOLY GHOST SAW HER AND SAID WOW WHAT AN INCREDIBLE MOTHER SHE COULD RAISE MY CORPOREAL FORM SO WELL. AMAZING GUY THE HOLY GHOST. JOSEPH IS... NOT SO HAPPY. PROCRASTINATIN' JOSEPH COULDN'T EVEN GET A ROOM AT THE INN. SAD!
#MOTHERSDAY
THE HOLY GHOST SAW HER AND SAID WOW WHAT AN INCREDIBLE MOTHER SHE COULD RAISE MY CORPOREAL FORM SO WELL. AMAZING GUY THE HOLY GHOST. JOSEPH IS... NOT SO HAPPY. PROCRASTINATIN' JOSEPH COULDN'T EVEN GET A ROOM AT THE INN. SAD!
#MOTHERSDAY
Reposted by POPE LEO #14 (satire)
I HEARD THERE WAS A SACRED CHORD THAT DAVID PLAYED AND IT PLEASED THE LORD.
I HAVE FOUND AN EVEN BETTER CHORD THAT GOD SAID SOUNDED TWICE AS GOOD. BATHSHIBA WAS VERY IMPRESSED. WASHED UP DAVID WILL NEVER PLAY AGAIN. I LOVE CANAANITES!!!
#MAKECHANTINGGREATAGAIN
I HAVE FOUND AN EVEN BETTER CHORD THAT GOD SAID SOUNDED TWICE AS GOOD. BATHSHIBA WAS VERY IMPRESSED. WASHED UP DAVID WILL NEVER PLAY AGAIN. I LOVE CANAANITES!!!
#MAKECHANTINGGREATAGAIN
May 10, 2025 at 7:10 PM
I HEARD THERE WAS A SACRED CHORD THAT DAVID PLAYED AND IT PLEASED THE LORD.
I HAVE FOUND AN EVEN BETTER CHORD THAT GOD SAID SOUNDED TWICE AS GOOD. BATHSHIBA WAS VERY IMPRESSED. WASHED UP DAVID WILL NEVER PLAY AGAIN. I LOVE CANAANITES!!!
#MAKECHANTINGGREATAGAIN
I HAVE FOUND AN EVEN BETTER CHORD THAT GOD SAID SOUNDED TWICE AS GOOD. BATHSHIBA WAS VERY IMPRESSED. WASHED UP DAVID WILL NEVER PLAY AGAIN. I LOVE CANAANITES!!!
#MAKECHANTINGGREATAGAIN
May 10, 2025 at 12:58 AM
THE VATICAN NAVY IS STRONGER THAN EVER!!!
I AM RENAMING THE MEDITERRANEAN SEA TO THE GULF OF BETHLEHEM. BE PROUD SEA PEOPLES!!!
#MAKEBETHLEHEMWETAGAIN
I AM RENAMING THE MEDITERRANEAN SEA TO THE GULF OF BETHLEHEM. BE PROUD SEA PEOPLES!!!
#MAKEBETHLEHEMWETAGAIN
May 10, 2025 at 12:51 AM
THE VATICAN NAVY IS STRONGER THAN EVER!!!
I AM RENAMING THE MEDITERRANEAN SEA TO THE GULF OF BETHLEHEM. BE PROUD SEA PEOPLES!!!
#MAKEBETHLEHEMWETAGAIN
I AM RENAMING THE MEDITERRANEAN SEA TO THE GULF OF BETHLEHEM. BE PROUD SEA PEOPLES!!!
#MAKEBETHLEHEMWETAGAIN
I ONCE GOT BIT BY A SHARK IN PERU. I WAS REVIVED RIGHT AWAY. SOMEONE SAID "WOW JESUS TOOK 3 DAYS TO COME BACK TO LIFE AND YOU DID IT SO FAST." I SAID WOW IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT, ITS TRUE. I PROBABLY COULD HAVE SAVED JESUS FROM BEING CRUCIFIED.
#THEGREATESTAMERICANPOPE
#THEGREATESTAMERICANPOPE
May 9, 2025 at 11:06 PM
I ONCE GOT BIT BY A SHARK IN PERU. I WAS REVIVED RIGHT AWAY. SOMEONE SAID "WOW JESUS TOOK 3 DAYS TO COME BACK TO LIFE AND YOU DID IT SO FAST." I SAID WOW IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT, ITS TRUE. I PROBABLY COULD HAVE SAVED JESUS FROM BEING CRUCIFIED.
#THEGREATESTAMERICANPOPE
#THEGREATESTAMERICANPOPE